Converting Business Success Into Confidence With Women

I know a bunch of guys who are very successful in their careers, but still lack confidence with women. Coming from an engineering background originally, my experience has been that career success doesn't always translate automatically into feeling confident interacting with girls. In fact, some of what we learn as men about being successful vocationally can work against us when it comes to the fairer sex.

Cute girl in a bikini with a laptop

Success in Business May Not Translate Into Success With Women

Women want a well-rounded guy who is successful in business but they also need to be able to connect and relate to us in order to get to know us more deeply. The biggest mistake I see successful career guys making with women is attempting to apply the same strategies that work for them in the business world to their relationships with women. After a few relationship failures, the once confident guy's self-confidence starts going down the tubes as he blames himself for not getting the relationship he wants; or even worse he becomes bitter and resentful of women for not liking and accepting him the way he is. The problem isn't him; the problem is the strategy he's using unconsciously to connect with women, and simply changing strategy can make all the difference.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Use Humor That Makes Her Laugh With You, Not At You

Back when I was studying at University, there was a guy in my group of computer nerd friends named Toby, who was constantly cracking really bad jokes. We were relatively lucky to have two girls in our group, and Toby was always trying to hit on the girl he liked with his goofy sense of humor. But it never worked. Not only did his jokes make people groan rather than laugh, they tended to make him look like a clown rather than a comedian. Needless to say, Toby didn't end up getting the girl.

Women always say they love guys with a sense of humor, but there's more to it than just saying things that you think are funny. Your sense of humor also conveys a lot about who you are, and how you see the world. At one end of the spectrum, your humor can convey that you're a cool, interesting guy with great insights on the human condition. At the other, you can end up looking like a clown. One will make women attracted to you, while the other will make them run a mile. It's the difference between having her laugh with you, and having her laugh at you.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How to Meet More Women

Do you ever wish that meeting beautiful women was as simple as walking up to them and saying: “Hi, what's your name?” Well according to dating coach Jack D. Serrano, it is.

In the interview below you'll learn that the key to meeting women is to take action and approach them. Stop trying to persuade women to like you and simply start looking for the women who already like you and have a natural chemistry with you. Most men fall into the trap of trying to persuade women to like them, and a lot of dating advice is based around this concept that leads to fear, frustration and a lack of confidence.

The antidote to approach anxiety is to simply ask yourself the question “Does she like me or not?” rather than trying to persuade her to like you. Forget about trying to “build attraction”, showing value or trying to make women like you. There are a lot of girls out there who will already like you; all you have to do is go out and find them. Conventional pick-up advice turns you into a persuader who messes up the natural chemistry that is already there between you and the women who like you for who you are.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

8 Things Women Wish Men Knew

Communication between the sexes. It's always been difficult, and even as the workplace and the world in general open up more and more to women, we all still know that men and women are a little different. We think differently, speak differently, and expect different things. But when we share these differences, we can dramatically improve communication and relationships.

Guys, whether you're married with kids, a newlywed, or just looking for love at the moment, read this list of eight things most women wish you knew, and remind yourself of them often. If a man can get these eight things right, he'll definitely notice a difference in his relationship with just about any woman.

1. You don't have to fix all our problems.

Whether it's because of nature or socialization, women tend to be more relationship and feeling oriented creatures than men. While men like to solve problems with concrete solutions, women need to talk things out and be understood. Numerous studies have confirmed this, including one recent study through the Harvard School of Medicine. This study showed, that women and men were happier in their marriages when both partners made an effort to understand the feelings of the other partner.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How to Attract Women without Being Fake

If the idea of learning a bunch of canned routines and fake stories grates on you like it does on me, you'll want to listen to this interview by Leigh Louey-Gung from AttractionInstitute.org on how you can attract women by being real. Leigh's free ebook Seduction Community Sucks really blew me away by highlighting how a lot of material from the pick-up community actually lowers your self-esteem by teaching you that you have to project a fake facade in order to get the women that you want interested in you.

There's no doubt that techniques like those in Neil Strauss's book The Game work if you're prepared to do all the hard work of learning how to lie, cheat and manipulate women into bed with you. But presenting a false personality can never lead to the genuine connection that we all really want deep down. So if you don't want to go down that route and yet what you're currently doing isn't working, what's the alternative?

Change the way that you bridge the gap between how you feel and how you want to feel. For instance, rather than using women to try and make yourself feel powerful, gain a sense of personal power by constantly and systematically pushing through fear in every area of your life.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How to Meet Women During the Day

One of my goals is to get really confident at meeting women during the day. I'm not a big fan of nightclubs with loud blaring music, and the idea of being able to approach attractive women I see going about their daily routines in a relaxed manner really appeals to me. I figure that once I learn to approach women confidently, I can travel the world and never be wanting for female company.

My friend Jack from SucceedAtDating.com is an expert on meeting women during the day, also known as day game. He coaches other men on how to successfully approach and start conversations with women while they're out and about. I've just interviewed him for The Confident Man Program, and here are the main points I learned from Jack about day game:

  • It's easier than you think.

  • Any skill takes time to master, and approaching women is no different.

  • Stop reading books, e-books and watching videos. You know enough already.

  • Get out there and keep it simple. Take action. Start approaching every day.

  • Take baby steps. Be patient with yourself and you'll get there.

  • Make it a habit.

  • Always be curious, fun and playful. Don't make this a chore!

Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

100 Ways To Meet Women

There are women out there all over the place. Why do so many guys have trouble meeting them? After all, there must be at least 100 ways to meet women. Some of them will probably even involve nudity. Let's see:

  1. Go to a Yoga class

  2. Go backpacking in youth hostels

  3. Do a meditation class

  4. Go to Resolving The Mindset Riddle

  5. Enroll in a Guitar class

  6. Join a 12-step therapy group

  7. Go to Improv classes

  8. Go to comedy festivals

  9. Ask for movie advice in the ticket queue at the cinemas

  10. Participate in a Spencer Tunick photo shoot.

  11. Take acting classes

  12. Go to art installations

  13. Go to Breakthrough To Success

  14. Join an Amnesty International letter writing group

  15. Take life drawing classes

  16. See live theater

  17. Learn to play music

  18. Start your own business and go business networking

  19. Study Psychology

  20. Take a life coach training course

  21. Get into personal development

  22. Become a life model

  23. Go to rock concerts

  24. Volunteer for the political party with the most attractive male candidate

  25. Hang out with your female friends, and meet their friends

  26. Go to bars

  27. Do a Yoga retreat

  28. Go on a naturist holiday tour

  29. Join Greenpeace and start participating

  30. See live music

  31. Go to the beach with friends

  32. Do a road trip to another state

  33. Join a writer's group

  34. Talk around the water cooler at work

  35. Do volunteer work

  36. Organize your own house party

  37. Do a health retreat

  38. Backpack across Europe, Australia, Asia, Africa or America.

Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How to be Confident with Women

A lot of guys who are confident and capable in most areas of life still struggle when it comes to meeting and relating to women confidently. Just because you're good at your job, successful in business, sport or hobbies doesn't necessarily mean you'll be confident with women.

On the other hand, confidence with women does tend to flow over into every other area of your life. It's just one of those fundamental things that effects your whole life when you master it. So here's how to relate to women confidently:

Ask Yourself What You Really Want From Women

What is it you're really looking for from women anyway? Is it love, intimacy, sex or a relationship? Or are you really seeking validation and approval from them, trying to compensate for a lack of true self-esteem? Most guys who struggle to feel confident with women are still trying to make up for childhood love we didn't get from our mothers or stability we didn't get from our fathers. If you had an emotionally disconnected mother, or a passive or emotionally unstable father, this can undermine your self-esteem and show up as nervousness around women.

If you have mother or father issues that are unresolved, get some emotional healing so you don't carry this emotional baggage straight into your next interaction with a woman.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Pick Up A Woman At A Party

I was recently invited to a party by a male friend of mine, to be held at a mutual female acquaintance's house. Since I didn't know the host of the party very well, and had received the invite second-hand, I was a little nervous about who was going to be there. Would I know anyone? Would I meet anyone interesting to talk to; or in fact, anyone interested in talking to me?

I still get a little nervous in social situations with strangers sometimes, as I have plenty of memories of parties and functions where I used to sit in the corner feeling like a nerd hoping that someone would talk to me. The bad feelings that went along with those memories still come up from time to time.

But parties are supposed to be fun, right? I didn't want to bail just because I felt a little nervous about going. So to help take the pressure off, I decided that my intention for this party was simply to have fun and to practise some of the new social skills that I'd been working on lately involving being playful and humorous in conversations. I decided I wasn't going to try and “pick up”, or feel desperate about meeting people or being the life of the party.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Why “Being Yourself” Doesn't Work When Meeting Women

I often hear women giving guys who struggle when it comes to meeting women the well-intentioned but deadly advice:

Just be yourself.

Any guy seeking advice on meeting women knows that this just doesn't work. After all, you've been “being yourself” your whole life, and look where it's got you so far. Given that so many women offer this nugget of advice so frequently, it's worth looking at why it fails in practice:

Who Are You Really Anyway?

Who you are is a combination of your core self, and all the learned behaviours that you've acquired since you were conceived. Together, these make up your personality. Of all the animals on the planet, humans have the largest capacity for learning, and hence the highest proportion of learned behaviour in our personalities. Your personality is what other people experience when they meet you, but it's not really who you are at your core.

Given that most of your personality is learned behaviour, if you are sufficiently motivated and persistent you can learn new behaviours which get you better results; especially in your interactions with other people. If you feel like a failure when it comes to women, you need to realise that they problem isn't you; the problem is the way you have learned to behave and communicate.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago