If you're lacking in confidence, meeting women can seems like a major challenge. You can't date women you can't meet, and this affects everything from your social life to your sex life. Approaching women in bars and clubs can be a hit and miss affair, and office romances can be problematic. But finding female company is easy once you know the secret to meeting women:

Get involved in activities that women also enjoy, over a period of time that gives them the chance to get to know you.

You want to meet real ones, right?
Image courtesy Pixabay

The best activities involve learning any new skill that women value which boosts your confidence, while meeting women in the process. This slips you in under the radar and makes you much more approachable than when you're obviously just “out to meet chicks”. Here are the best ways to go about this:

Take Dance Lessons

This is by far the most effective way of meeting women. All women love men who can dance, but many men are afraid of looking foolish and won't put up with the initial discomfort while they learn. Women respect men who are prepared to be vulnerable, and you become a hot commodity once you've mastered it. You'll learn to lead women, direct them in a firm way, and develop strong connections with women. It also puts you straight into the arms of women who tend to be fitter and more attractive than average. Find a dance style matched to music you love, and it's really fun. There are a myriad of different styles out there, some better than others; to help pick one, see Skill #1 in The Confident Man Program Guide. This is my #1 recommended skill for building confidence with women. Do it.

Yoga and Pilates

Women seem to just love Yoga and Pilates classes. Yoga in particular has a bit of a spiritual bent to it that attracts women, while Pilates is all about core strength which comes in handy later when you get to know her better. Most men won't go because it looks easy but it's not, so the men/woman ratio is massively stacked in your favor. It's also great for your fitness and flexibility, which women have a natural eye for. Plus the women who go look after themselves, and tend to have toned bodies... or are working towards it. Pick a regular weekly class and turn up 5 minutes before each time to give you time to say “hi” while everyone is waiting around. After a few weeks you'll build enough trust and rapport to suggest meeting up for coffee with the cute blonde you noticed doing Downward Facing Dog.

Learn to Play Guitar

Women love guys who can play music. If you never learned to play or are out of practice, now is the time to get into it. Grab a guitar and get yourself to a guitar class. Guitar is the ideal instrument to learn because it's portable, and lends itself to learning and playing together in groups. When I turned up to guitar lessons for the first time a few years ago, the class was full of interesting women who were in the process of dumping their boring, deadbeat boyfriends. I couldn't help but look great in comparison. These women still call me regularly to get together for jam sessions and I've discovered a passion for playing music which I never had during boring music lessons as a kid. Women are attracted to men with passion, and a passion for music doubles the stakes in your favor. See Skill #4 in Confident Man for more hints on this.

Professional Acting Classes

If you have an interest in the dramatic arts and want to meet creative women who like pushing boundaries, sign up for professional acting classes. Not only is acting one of the most confidence-boosting activities you can do, you're guaranteed to end up rehearsing and working with women on your scenes. Most drama involves conflict between men and women, so most script work will have you paired up with a woman. You'll need to meet up with your script partners for practice outside class, which gives you both the chance to get to know each other. Professional models tend to turn to acting when they want a more interesting career, so my acting class this year was stacked with beautiful women who worked as models. Some techniques are better than others; see Skill #19 in The Confident Man Program Guide for more details.

Go on Stage in Amateur Theater

If you really want to build and demonstrate confidence, there's nothing like getting up on stage in front of your friends and family and putting on a performance. In every major city you'll find amateur theater companies that stage performances of major plays just for the fun of it. It's exciting, challenging, and emotionally demanding; all the things that bond people together, and that adventurous women love. You'll work together in a team with other actors and actresses for about 3 months while you rehearse, and then go on stage together. There are plenty of opportunities to hang out with the women in the cast during the process, not to mention at the after-party. You can't help but have women in the cast respect you for your gutsy determination to get on stage, and fall for you. If you can sing and/or dance, musical theater is always desperate for men. The hardest part is the audition process, but you can side-step that with the tips in Skill #20 of  The Confident Man Program Guide.

Get Into Art

Women are drawn to art and beauty. If you're a sensitive guy who also appreciates the beauty of art, art classes are where it's at. Artists have a unique and fascinating take on the world that pushes the boundaries and tends to draw women in. Turn up to a Life Drawing course and you'll have the opportunity to appreciate, and attempt to replicate on paper, the inherent beauty of a the naked female form. There's nothing weird or pornographic about it when it's for the sake of art. You'll be surprised how many women you'll meet who also come along to learn to draw female nudes, just because they appreciate beauty. The women you meet at art classes tend to be more interesting, creative and less conservative than average. If you're truly hopeless at creating art yourself, you at least want to develop an appreciation for it; see Skill #7 in The Confident Man Program Guide for more details.

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.

1 Comment

Matt · March 29, 2012 at 8:44 pm

An acting class has the ability to entirely change the direction of your life. I know because, as a young man, I took up the opportunity to enter a regular acting theatre group and the confidence and conversational experiernce I built in those years changed me significantly for the better.

I was probably too young to assess whether or not they'd be a good way to meet women but I can certainly vouch that they're a magnificent way to break out of your shell and express yourself without any real fears as the entire acting environment is developed to inspire and encourage.


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