Different types of therapy for building your confidence
I recently came across the most excellent 2019 BBC documentary Nadiya: Anxiety and Me offering profound insights regarding conventional treatment of anxiety and panic disorders. It follows the brave journey of UK celebrity chef and panic attack sufferer Nadiya Hussain as she seeks mental health treatment for her chronic anxiety for the first time, on camera. (more…)
This fantastic book on affective and interpersonal neuroscience reads like a who’s who from many of the leaders in the field on the cutting edge of neuroscience-based psychotherapy. Big-name contributors include Jaak Panksepp (Affective Neuroscience), Stephen Porges (The Polyvagal Theory), Daniel Siegel (Interpersonal Neurobiology), Pat Ogden (Sensorimotor Psychotherapy), Diana Fosha (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy), and Susan Johnson (Emotionally Focussed Therapy). (more…)
The Transforming Power of Affect: A Model for Accelerated Change by Diana Fosha is a book I wish every Cognitive Behavioural Therapist would read. It outlines the theoretical foundation for, and practice of, Diana Fosha’s Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP). I particularly enjoyed Part 1: Theoretical Foundations which describes how and why AEDP works. (more…)
In the article “The Effect of Integrating Music Listening With an Attachment- And Affective-Focused Short-Term Psychotherapy in an Individual With Relational Trauma: The Case of ‘James.’”[1], G. Paul Blimling describes a hybridized case study using music chosen by a client nicknamed “James” within psychotherapy to help them heal their early life attachment trauma. By facilitating trust in the relationship with the therapist, collaborative music listening helped the client access and express strong emotions which would otherwise overwhelm and incapacitate them, and as a result healed their core attachment wound[2].
Karen Riggs Skean responds in her article “Integrating Client-Chosen Music in Relational Trauma Treatment: Pathways to the Heart”[3], noting that Blimling is a talented cellist, and adding that integrating his musicianship into his role as a therapist “helped him be more fully present with the client, which in turn helped the client be more present as well”[4]. Bringing his musical background to the therapy setting helped to bridge the gap with a client who was initially extremely reticent, untrusting and hostile.[5]
Ben G. Adams continues the conversation in his article “Self-Selected Music for Relational Trauma: Commentary on the Psychotherapy Case of ‘James’”[6] by pointing out that while integrating music listening into mainstream therapy sessions may at first seem novel, it actually represents a return to our hunter-gatherer ancestors, when music was integral to the shamanic healing process. By combining the music and psychotherapy, Blimling has in fact reconciled what was originally a unified societal role.[7]
In this essay I summarise the use of music for healing attachment trauma in Blimling’s case study and Skean & Adams’s responses, and discuss how it informs and impacts my own current musical practice and future projects. (more…)
Kenny et al (2014) present a case study of a typical professional musician suffering from music performance anxiety: a 55-year-old senior strings player in a leading Australian orchestra, named Kurt[1]. During musical performances he typically reported overwhelming anxiety, distracting physical sensations and thoughts, inability to control his arms, and striated muscle tension. This significantly detracted from both his performance and his personal enjoyment of his career[2].
Music performance anxiety is a serious problem for many professional musicians[3]. Typical symptoms while performing include overwhelming anxiety, profuse sweating, dry mouth, muscle tension, inability to focus, loss of self, loss of flow, paralysis and catastrophic performance failure. General traits common to sufferers include perfectionism, dependence on drugs and alcohol, fear of exposure, fear of failure, catastrophizing and extreme emotional distress. Such traits have consequences beyond the performance realm including poor mental and physical health. Many sufferers abandon their career in music altogether while others soldier on despite having a miserable experience[4]. (more…)
Many of my coaching clients often complain to me about their previous experience with psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors and therapists who just “don’t get it”. I’m often impressed that they even persisted to find me after having such unpleasant experiences.
So I created this series of videos to explain How To Choose A Therapist: (more…)
Effective therapy heals emotional trauma in your brain and central nervous system by providing a safe environment for you to express your true feelings, with the support of an empathic non-judgmental connection between you and the therapist.
The three main things to look for in a therapist are:
It’s normal to feel nervous when seeing a new therapist for the first time, but trust your instincts to tell you whether these three things are present. If not, look elsewhere.
Here’s a video explaining this in more detail: (more…)
Effective therapy can heal emotional trauma. It works by providing a safe space to express and release the residual emotional charge on unpleasant memories.
Here’s a video describing the process in more detail: (more…)
I got a question via email last week about how to tell when therapy is working. Here it is, along with my answer:
I have been in psychoanalysis to treat emotional abuse for 4 years now, and am still in a really bad place. I exploded in anger and stopped talking to my mother, father, family and friends only writing to them to wish them dead in horrible ways. Then I burst into tears a few times realizing my friends do care and love me. But I am still feeling bad despite having been crying a lot in the past year and having a much better relationship with friends and family. I feel confused and lost. I wonder whether I should change therapists as after 4 years I still feel “like shit” and cannot work properly. Many thanks.
Thanks for your question; I’ll do my best to give you an answer based just on the little bit that you’ve told me. I get that at the moment you feel “like shit” as you’ve had 4 years of psychoanalysis and still cannot work properly, so you’re wondering if your therapy is going right or whether you should change therapists.
How do you know if therapy is really working?
The first thing I’d say is it sounds as if you’ve made a lot of progress over those 4 years: You got in touch with your inner rage when you exploded in anger; then you set a no-contact boundary when you stopped talking to your mother, father and family; then you communicated to them honestly how you felt as best you could; then you released some grief when you burst into tears a few times realizing that your friends do care and love you. You healed more grief about your family too, so you have been crying a lot in the past year. After all of that you have a much better relationship with your friends and family.
Sacred sexual healers deal with psychological, emotional and physical issues on a sexual and spiritual level. They harness the intense power of our sexuality to heal emotional wounds, and they handle sexual issues directly often by dealing with the guilt, fear and shame that many of us have around sex.
You visit either a Daka (male) or Dakini (female) sacred sexual healer and participate in healing rituals that vary according to what they sense your underlying issues are.
For example say your lack of confidence is causing, or caused by, sexual dysfunction. A Dakini can help you by going all the way through the sexual process with you and identifying any potential points at which you might be getting anxious, or any other issues that might be coming up for you. This is better than dealing with your sexual issues by practicing on unsuspecting women you meet, who haven’t agreed to be used for that.
Advantages:
You learn to set boundaries
Great at dealing with guilt, fear and shame
Harness the power of sexuality for healing purposes
The healer may be willing to go places nobody else will
Liberate sexual tension from your body
Disadvantages:
Sacred Sexual healers aren’t licensed therapists
About as extreme and non-mainstream as therapy can get.