Therapy

Primal Therapy

You spent over a decade being socialized by the school system: told to sit down, shut up, keep your feelings to yourself and be a good boy. Sure, you're a social being and a member of the tribe... but really deep down you're an animal. Primal therapy gets you back in touch with your animal instincts and your primal roots through a combination of anger expression exercises, chanting, dancing, and other primitive tribal rituals.

Advantages:

  • Hugely cathartic

  • Learn to express and release anger

  • The next best thing to an exorcism

  • You get in touch with your power as a man

Disadvantages:

  • How well would a raging beast of a man really function in today's society?

  • Some research suggests that expressing anger just makes you more angry

  • Disturbing the neighbors

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By Graham Stoney, ago
Therapy

Exposure Therapy

The key to dealing with any form of debilitating anxiety is to expose yourself to a mild dose of the situation that makes you just a little anxious, but not overwhelming so. The anxiety subsides naturally as you master the situation, building your confidence. You then increase the intensity of the situation, always remaining below the level at which you feel overwhelmed.

Psychologists call this Systematic Desensitization or Exposure Therapy. Psychologist Dr Russ Harris described it in our interview as “The most powerful technique in all of psychology”. It works extremely when done correctly, and my online confidence building course is based on applying this technique in the real world.

This is usually an adjunct to other types of therapy.

Advantages:

  • Extremely powerful

  • Cures phobias

Disadvantages:

  • You have to expose yourself to the very thing you fear

  • Can re-traumatize you, if not done gradually

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By Graham Stoney, ago
Therapy

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

This therapy integrates the most useful parts of Western psychology, and Eastern philosophies. It includes the Buddhist idea that most human suffering is caused by an attachment or desire for things that are often temporary or unattainable. So you start by accepting everything exactly the way it is, without trying to change it. Fighting against reality is the cause of a great deal of our angst and suffering.

Having accepted that things are the way they are and you are exactly the way you are, you can then learn some new skills to help deal more powerfully with life. This is the paradox of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT); but get the balance right, and it works. Integration of other Buddhist and Taoist concepts like mindfulness, expansion, and going-with-the-flow distinguish ACT from other therapies.

An underlying principle is that happiness comes from doing what works in practice, rather than from what we think should work. Ask “Does that work?” instead of “Is that right?” Let go of the need to be right, and of your hard luck story. Letting go of beliefs based on the way we think things should be helps relieve stress and anxiety. Being truly confident means being able to go with the flow, and not needing to be in control all the time.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago
Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the therapist challenges your unhelpful thinking patterns to replace them with more constructive ideas, while also encouraging you to change the way you act in the world. This is the most common form of therapy out there these days, having combined the best aspects of Cognitive Therapy and Behavioral Therapy, thus ending the dispute about which was better.

The way you think has a profound impact on how confident you feel, and the way you act has a huge impact on how confident other people see you. Both combine to affect the results that you get in the world, especially from your interactions with other people. Rather than focusing on just one or the other, CBT attempts to address both at the same time so you get twice the bang for your therapy buck. The therapist can also focus on whichever is causing you the greatest trouble at the time.

Advantages:

  • Best of both worlds: change your thinking and your actions at the same time

  • Widely practiced and readily available

  • It works

Disadvantages:

  • Doesn't give a high priority to emotions, which are the root cause of the problem
  • All the emphasis on change can make you feel that you're not good enough the way you are

  • You may end up retelling the same old painful stories over and over

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By Graham Stoney, ago