Do you ever wish that meeting beautiful women was as simple as walking up to them and saying: “Hi, what's your name?” Well according to dating coach Jack D. Serrano, it is.

In the interview below you'll learn that the key to meeting women is to take action and approach them. Stop trying to persuade women to like you and simply start looking for the women who already like you and have a natural chemistry with you. Most men fall into the trap of trying to persuade women to like them, and a lot of dating advice is based around this concept that leads to fear, frustration and a lack of confidence.

The antidote to approach anxiety is to simply ask yourself the question “Does she like me or not?” rather than trying to persuade her to like you. Forget about trying to “build attraction”, showing value or trying to make women like you. There are a lot of girls out there who will already like you; all you have to do is go out and find them. Conventional pick-up advice turns you into a persuader who messes up the natural chemistry that is already there between you and the women who like you for who you are. It's counter-productive, awkward and causes anxiety when we try to persuade women to like us.

The recurring theme is: It's not your job to persuade women to like you.

The More Women You Meet, The Less Nervous You Will Be About Approaching, And The More Likely You'll Meet A Woman With Mutual Attraction.

Be able to accept “No” for an answer. You develop this skill by talking to lots of women. All you want to know when approaching a woman is “Is she open to a conversation?”

There are already girls out there who like you, but it can be difficult to believe this before we've experienced it. The key to developing this mindset is to take action: go out and start approaching each and every woman that you find attractive. Aim for 30 a day. Start building the core ability to approach more and more women so you don't have to pretend any more. Confidence comes from experience.

Approach women with a simple: “Hi, what's your name?”

If she ignores us or doesn't seem interested, that's good; we've discovered quickly that she's not interested so just move on to the next woman. There are so many women out there who will talk to us that it's not worth trying to convince her to talk to us. Focus on finding girls you share chemistry with, rather than trying to create it when it doesn't exist.

Drop the persuasion mindset and just keep asking “Does she like me or not?” Every encounter becomes a success. If she wants to talk to us, great. If she doesn't, that's fine too because we've successfully identified whether she likes us or not. This removes a lot of the anxiety guys have about approaching women.

Our bullshit excuses often get in the way of taking action to approach women we're attracted to when we see them. Excuses sound rational at first, but really they just get in the way. Dissolving these excuses allow you to take action even though you are making excuses. Over time, the excuses stop coming up so strongly.

The percentage of girls who like you remains fairly constant regardless of how attractive they are. No matter how hot the girls are, some will like you and some will not. So you might as well just approach the women you find attractive. All you need to do is find out whether she's interested in you or not. Don't try to get something from her and don't keep talking to women who clearly aren't interested in you.

Beautiful, high quality women who already like you respond amazingly well when you're up-front with them and don't try to make them like you. You're not responsible for making a girl feel a certain way. This gives you the mental space necessary to dissolve your excuses and start approaching women. You can't control other people; you're only in control of your own actions. Just present yourself well, aim to make her laugh and find out if she likes you.

It's not about feeling confident or getting into any particular mental state. Success comes from taking action to find the women who naturally have chemistry with you. Every time you have a setback, bounce back. The key to taking action is committing yourself to taking action to approach 30 women each day.

When you have so many women in your life that you have to let some go in order to meet more, the quality becomes incredible. You only have time for high quality women who already really like you.

Work on developing your ability to make a woman laugh. Improv classes are a great way to do this. See what works and what doesn't. Always remember, you're not trying to persuade her to like you.

Listen to a preview of the interview here:

The full interview is included in The Confident Man Program.

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.

1 Comment

Jack D. Serrano · April 28, 2012 at 1:16 am


Thanks a lot for having me on.
It was fun.

Be Amazing,
Jack D. Serrano

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