If the idea of learning a bunch of canned routines and fake stories grates on you like it does on me, you'll want to listen to this interview by Leigh Louey-Gung from AttractionInstitute.org on how you can attract women by being real. Leigh's free ebook Seduction Community Sucks really blew me away by highlighting how a lot of material from the pick-up community actually lowers your self-esteem by teaching you that you have to project a fake facade in order to get the women that you want interested in you.

There's no doubt that techniques like those in Neil Strauss's book The Game work if you're prepared to do all the hard work of learning how to lie, cheat and manipulate women into bed with you. But presenting a false personality can never lead to the genuine connection that we all really want deep down. So if you don't want to go down that route and yet what you're currently doing isn't working, what's the alternative?

Change the way that you bridge the gap between how you feel and how you want to feel. For instance, rather than using women to try and make yourself feel powerful, gain a sense of personal power by constantly and systematically pushing through fear in every area of your life.

For many guys, simply approaching women in the first place is a major hurdle. Leigh's solution is to change your relationship to approach anxiety by accepting it rather than resisting, and take small steps so you don't get overwhelmed. Learn that not only is anxiety normal, but it's also a signal that shows you where to move forward towards what you want. The key is learning to accept anxiety as a normal part of life rather than labeling it as bad, and to take the process gradually.

Leigh outlines a five stage process based on ancient Chinese Taoist teachings for getting what you want out of life by going with the flow and being more authentic rather than less. It's all based on shifting your context so that your happiness does not depend on how women and the world respond to you. The stages are:

  1. Fully accept how your life currently is.

  2. Identify the life you really want.

  3. See how your biggest fear is getting in the way of your greatest desire.

  4. Overcome the barriers to getting what you want.

  5. Form an action plan to get there step-by-step.

Here is a preview of the interview where Leigh talks about attracting women without being fake:

The full interview is included in The Confident Man Program.

And here are the other resources mentioned in the interview:

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.


Elikana Sunday · November 15, 2016 at 5:53 am

yea you right, l'd love to know more about this...

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