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Tag Archives: attraction
One of the defining moments of my life was realising that I needed help when it came to attracting and relating to women. Back when I worked as a computer engineer, I was a smart guy with a high income; but I just didn’t know how to relate to hot girls. I knew that there were these guys called “pickup artists” who could do it, but for me it was just impossible.
I had had a few girlfriends and while they were lovely people, they just didn’t feel right for me. Rather than having the freedom to choose the women I dated, it seemed like I had to settle for whatever came my way. I felt like something was wrong with me or was missing. Perhaps you can relate.
Ironically my stubborn pride was getting in the way. I thought I should be able to sort this out myself. "I shouldn’t have to get help just to be able to meet, talk to and date women", I thought to myself. I mean how hard could it be, right?
Well for me, it was very hard.
Back when I was studying at University, there was a guy in my group of computer nerd friends named Toby, who was constantly cracking really bad jokes. We were relatively lucky to have two girls in our group, and Toby was always trying to hit on the girl he liked with his goofy sense of humor. But it never worked. Not only did his jokes make people groan rather than laugh, they tended to make him look like a clown rather than a comedian. Needless to say, Toby didn't end up getting the girl.
Women always say they love guys with a sense of humor, but there's more to it than just saying things that you think are funny. Your sense of humor also conveys a lot about who you are, and how you see the world. At one end of the spectrum, your humor can convey that you're a cool, interesting guy with great insights on the human condition. At the other, you can end up looking like a clown. One will make women attracted to you, while the other will make them run a mile. It's the difference between having her laugh with you, and having her laugh at you.… Continue reading…
If the idea of learning a bunch of canned routines and fake stories grates on you like it does on me, you'll want to listen to this interview by Leigh Louey-Gung from AttractionInstitute.org on how you can attract women by being real. Leigh's free ebook Seduction Community Sucks really blew me away by highlighting how a lot of material from the pick-up community actually lowers your self-esteem by teaching you that you have to project a fake facade in order to get the women that you want interested in you.
There's no doubt that techniques like those in Neil Strauss's book The Game work if you're prepared to do all the hard work of learning how to lie, cheat and manipulate women into bed with you. But presenting a false personality can never lead to the genuine connection that we all really want deep down. So if you don't want to go down that route and yet what you're currently doing isn't working, what's the alternative?
Change the way that you bridge the gap between how you feel and how you want to feel. For instance, rather than using women to try and make yourself feel powerful, gain a sense of personal power by constantly and systematically pushing through fear in every area of your life.… Continue reading…
If you want to attract a superior woman, you need to become a superior man. As much as we'd like to think that us guys choose our partners, the reality is that women do the choosing. A superior woman has many, many options to choose from, so if we want her to choose us we need to stand out from all the regular guys she meets who want her attention every single day.
David Deida's book The Way of the Superior Man is a great textbook on becoming the superior man that women are naturally attracted to. Whether you're in a relationship now or not, it's an amazingly insightful book with heaps of wisdom about what works in being a man, and on what it is about the superior man that naturally attracts women.
One of the key principles Deida teaches is about masculine and feminine energy. We all have a mixture of both energies, and the polarity between them is what sparks attraction between the sexes. Masculine energy is all about direction, purpose and mission in life. If you have no mission in life, you're lacking masculine energy. Feminine energy is all about loving and being loved. If you don't have the love that you want in your life, feminine energy is what you want to start attracting.… Continue reading…
Just watching David DeAngelo's Advanced Dating Techniques program, I really like his distinction between Seduction and Attraction:
“Seduction implies tricking, being dishonest, and hiding your motives. Seduction also implies a scarcity mentality. It implies you lack the confidence that women will be attracted to you, and therefore you must resort to covert manoeuvres.
Attraction on the other hand is working on yourself, improving yourself to the point where women are magnetically attracted to you. That attraction mechanism gets pushed inside [the man] very quickly.”
It's important to understand how seduction works and when it's appropriate and inappropriate. But when a man invests significant energy into his own personal growth, he becomes a man who attracts women naturally. This is more authentic, has a more powerful impact on his whole life, and a more positive influence on the lives of those around him, than simply learning a bunch of eduction techniques ever will.… Continue reading…
If you haven't had a lot of success with women in your life so far, now is the time to take charge of the situation and make some changes. Meeting women, interacting with them and dating them successfully all comes down to a combination of your mindset and the skills that you have, to make yourself attractive and interesting to women.
Attraction between men and women is a completely natural thing. The problem for guys who struggle with women is that we get in our own way by repeating ineffective behaviors in our interactions with women that kill this natural attraction. After a while, we conclude that there's something wrong with us, or that the women we're interested in just aren't attracted to us; when in fact, success is simply a matter of replacing the ineffective behaviors with those that are more likely to get us positive results. Often the reason we haven't done this yet is that we didn't have a good role-model to teach us what works, and what doesn't; and we end up doing what doesn't work over and over again.