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Category Archives: Emotions
I grew up in a home where anger wasn't handled well. Let me take you back there:
Now, don't get me wrong. My mother lets her anger flow freely, but she rarely uses the actual words "I am angry". Instead, her anger comes out as hurtful criticism, put-downs and emotional bullying.
My dad isn't any better. He bottles his anger up so badly that he often seethes with resentment so loud that I can hear him muttering under his breath when I'm playing in the next room. It's frightening.
All it takes is for mum to walk in and say, "What's wrong with you, you stupid creature?" and, bang, next round of World War III is back on again.
What I learned from all this was the idea that anger was somehow a bad thing, that it was a bad emotion that I should never feel, because it always seemed to be expressed destructively around me.
As a result, I learned to push down my anger very hard, to suppress it. In fact, I pushed it down so hard that in the end I barely even felt it.… Continue reading…
Hi, I'm Graham. I had 18 years of formal education - that's 12 years of primary and high school, and then another six years at university studying engineering - and during that time, I learnt a lot about how to think but very little about how to feel or how my emotions worked.
In fact, I can't remember in that entire time a single class where I sat down and had a teacher teach me how my emotions work.
Now, possibly maybe in art classes or in music classes or maybe even in English they might've come close, but really nothing all that direct and concrete.
And that's a shame because, fundamentally as humans, we're all driven by our emotions. All our behavior is an attempt to either move towards pleasure or move away from pain.
So emotions are absolutely key to getting what we want in life. They're also the key to a successful relationship, especially with women.
So in the rest of this article, I'm going to give you a quick introduction into how your emotions work.
What Is An Empathy Buddy?
An empathy buddy is a great way to receive some non-judgmental emotional support from another person, without having to spend big dollars on therapy. They can be particularly valuable if you:
- Have difficulty identifying or expressing your feelings or needs
- Feel isolated and in need of connection
- Don't trust other men to treat your feelings with respect
- Need ongoing emotional support
An empathy buddy isn't a replacement for a therapist; if you have emotional wounds from the past that are causing you fear or anxiety in your day-to-day life, get a therapist. But if you're looking for another way to expand your emotional vocabulary, reduce your emotional isolation or manage feelings of shame you may have about your emotions, an empathy buddy can be a great way to do it.
The idea is to have a buddy who listens to where you're at without judging you and occasionally reflects back how you're feeling and what your needs are. I suggest talking to your empathy buddy on a regular basis, such as every week or fortnight. Like any relationship, it may take a little while to feel fully comfortable with your empathy buddy, but following the guidelines below will help you build trust and rapport together more quickly.… Continue reading…
Hey, it’s Graham here, and today you’re going to learn about how to express anger constructively. So anger is an emotion that’s perfectly normal and natural thing for a human being to have, and like any emotion it can be expressed in a way that’s constructive for you and the people around you and it can also be expressed in a way that is destructive for you and the people around you, or it can be suppressed which is another destructive way of handling anger.
So let’s have a talk about how to express anger constructively. And the first obvious way to do this is verbally, to actually say that you’re angry. Now, if you don’t do this, you can end up repressing your anger and that can lead to a whole heap of problems in your life, in your relationships, your health can suffer. It’s just bad shit to start repressing your anger.
Hey, it’s Graham here, and I’m feeling cranky today so let’s talk about anger. Now, there are two mistakes you can make with anger. The first one is to suppress it, pretending you don’t feel angry and just push that emotion down. And the second one is to just spew your anger out so that you express it destructively. Now, today I want to talk about the first one of those, which is suppressing your anger, and why we do that and why it’s not a good idea and what you can do about it.
Hey there, it’s Graham here from The Confident Man Project, and today you are going to learn all about the importance of expressing how you feel. Now, as guys, often we don’t get taught how to do this, we don’t learn how to do this, we don’t practice how to do this; we just tend to keep our feelings to ourselves a lot of the time and this is a massive problem because when we bottle up our emotions inside, we are prone to all sorts of horrible things like illness and depression and just unhappiness and frustration and it makes it hard to connect with other people, particularly with women who just love having an emotional connection with you.
And so I want to really advocate for the idea of you expressing how you feel in any moment. Like, right now I’m feeling a whole mixture of things. I’m feeling happy and I’m feeling frustrated and I’m feeling a bit pissed off and irritated and, you know, all this stuff is going on inside me all at once and it’s very unhealthy to just keep all that stuff bottled down inside.
Hey guys, I read a lot of books on personal development and as a result of that it’s pretty rare nowadays that I come across a book that contains brand new concepts or ideas that I’ve never heard of before. So what I’m looking for in the books that I read now is more a matter of how they affect me, like how they make me feel.
Because I really believe that if you want to make a lasting change in your life, then you need to deal with emotions and particularly the emotions that we have been avoiding feeling in the past and all that business that’s repressed in our subconscious.
Hey, it’s Graham here again with another confidence building idea for you. And today I want to talk about a serious subject which is the weighty topic of getting some emotional healing, if you need it. Now what tends to happen to us in life is invariably we go through a series of events, some of which are great and some of which are not so good, and some of the ones which are not so good can be so heavy that they’re really traumatic and they leave us with some kind of emotional scarring deep down in our psyche that hangs around and affects us for the rest of our life until we get to the point where we’re ready to deal with this stuff.
Now, the way that your subconscious works and that your emotions work are that any time you have a event that happens with a strong emotional response, in particular an emotional response that’s too strong for you to deal with at the time, we end up with a traumatic memory stored deep in our subconscious. And what happens is that any time in the future that we’re in a similar kind of situation, we’ll have the same emotion arise because we’ve been programmed for that by the traumatic event that’s happened back in our past.… Continue reading…
Many of us guys lack a basic emotional literacy; we have physical sensations when we're feeling something, but we often don't know how to identify what we're feeling, nor are we able to recognise emotions in other people. Being able to identify emotions is the basis of empathy, which is a core communication skill.
If you have been feeling stuck, blocked, and frustrated, my good friend, Nicholas de Castella, has an exciting opportunity I would like to invite you to share in...
For over 20 years, Nicholas has taught people just like you how to raise their Emotional Intelligence. As you may know, raising your Emotional Intelligence is vital to unlocking the key to your happiness, fulfillment and success.
Nicholas will be hosting a FREE BREAKTHROUGH SESSION in which he will guide you through a Breakthrough session and outline the 5 proven steps to living authentically, having boundless energy, feeling unshakeable passion, and creating the kind of life that gets you excited to wake up and jump out of bed in the morning.
As you complete each step, you will take your health, relationships, wealth and satisfaction to a whole new level.
So let’ jump in, shall we?
Step 1: Raise Self Awareness:
- Create a vision for who you want to be and the life you want to live
- Develop Emotional Literacy: enhance your ability to respond most effectively
Step 2: Peak Functioning (Attitude / Mindset)
- Equanimity: How to cultivate an open spacious, non-judgemental, reactive mind
- Inner harmony and balance: Learn to stop relentless thinking and calm a busy mind
- Cultivate Optimism: Motivate yourself for enjoyment, ease and achievement
Step 3: Grit (Emotional Mastery)
- Courage: The ability to step into the unknown, uncertainty and unfamiliar
- Determination & Endurance: The ability to delay gratification and stay focused
- Clear blockages and release resistance
- Persistence: how to keep on going when things are moving slowly
- Resilience: ability to bounce back after setbacks and not take things personally
Step 4: Inducing Flow (Heart Intelligence)
- Effortless flow: the ability to achieve with more joy and ease
- Self determination: The freedom that comes from feeling whole and complete in yourself
- Inducing Grace: gratitude, kindness, generosity
- Intuition: making better decisions, divine timing
Step 5: Setting up practices and systems
- Establishing healthy habits
- Establishing daily rituals
- Building a team: connecting, enrolling and inspiring others
- Engaging teachers and mentors
If you’re ready to gain crystal clear clarity on what you really want and finally build the powerful momentum you need to succeed, then you absolutely do not want to miss Nicholas’ next FREE BREAKTHROUGH TO FREEDOM session on Wednesday, October 8th at 8PM AEDT (Australian Eastern Daylight Time). … Continue reading…