Anger is one emotion that we have all felt at some point in our lives. However, the way we express and manage it can vary from person to person. For many around the world, anger is just a common emotion. Most have not felt it to an overwhelming amount in their lives.
For me, the story is different. Anger was a fierce emotion and it would consume me. I eventually realized that anger was not just an emotion in my case but a problem that needed to be resolved.
Why I Needed the Control?
When you let an emotion overwhelm or consume you, it can become a weakness. Emotions should be expressed but they say excess of everything is bad. Too many emotions make us vulnerable to the harsh world. But in case of anger, the situation is slightly different. Anger is not just something that affects you but the people around you.
Consider it as a metaphorical force of nature that leaves you wrecked as it leaves your body and then damages all other people in its way. It is ironic that subduing anger can also be a problem. In an attempt to save people, we often let the anger fester inside ourselves. And that is so much worse. The anger that festers rots us from the inside and erupts ferociously at some point. That explosion can cause lots of destruction in one’s life.
My Decision to Manage Anger
As I have mentioned that directing anger outwards all the time or subduing it can be destructive. The real solution is anger management. And many people don’t understand how to do that. I was the same. All I saw was two solutions. Either I needed to take out my anger or let it build up inside. Both solutions never worked.
My excess anger started to take a toll on me. I had already done so much damage and did not have the courage to suffer more. So I decided to develop a method for anger management. I tirelessly came up with FPS.
What is FPS?
FPS simply stands for feelings, problems, and solutions. The formula I used is:
Feeling + Problem = Solution.
How Does FPS Work?
FPS is based on three ways that will eventually lead you to manage your anger effectively and live a calmer life.
The basic reason behind almost any anger is the feeling of being unheard. The anger clouds our judgment and we are more focused on expressing anger than actually saying what we wanted. So the first step is to communicate what you are feeling. Share what you want to be heard respectfully. And people will hear.
Now that people have heard you, it does not necessarily mean that they understand. So sit down together and discuss the problems.
With the expressed feelings and exposed problems, all parties involved will feel much calmer. This provides a sound situation to find solutions.
I highly prefer using this method if you are suffering like I did. I think FPS can work for most negative emotions.