I have a good friend who is in the process of working through her childhood emotional abandonment trauma and renegotiating fairer adult relationships with the people in her life.

This kind of work can be heavy going at times and during a recent heart-to-heart conversation about her experience, she said:
“People keep telling me I’m brave. I don’t feel very brave.”

I was curious about this so I asked: “Well what do you think bravery is?”

She thought for a moment and replied: “Bravery is superheroes rescuing defenceless people.”

“I have a different perspective”, I said:

“Bravery isn’t the absence of fear:
Bravery is taking action in the face of fear; even when you don’t know if you will succeed.”

, Bravery Is Not The Absence Of Fear
Superheroes aren’t brave because they know they can do it

By this definition a superhero isn’t brave because they know that they have the power to do what they need to do. Working through childhood trauma on the other hand, is a different story.

When we’ve had a family history of emotional abandonment and invalidation, our wounded inner child has often accumulated a lifetime’s worth of evidence that it’s not safe to express our true feelings, that our needs won’t get met, and our boundaries won’t be respected by others. Working through these issues and learning to assert our true selves involves going against all this evidence to uncover and express the real truth that will ultimately set is free.

This process can bring up a tremendous amount of fear for us to work through. To our unhealed nervous system, it can literally feel like we’re going to die. That is why walking the healing path is an act of courage and bravery that most people avoid.

When it feels like we’re walking through the valley of the shadow of death, it’s important to take care of our wounded inner child and give the hurt, vulnerable part of ourselves as much love and attention as possible.

Build your self-confidence faster with The Confident Man Program

Categories: Emotions

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.

0 Comments

Leave a Reply

Avatar placeholder

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.