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See hot young barely legal teens getting banged right now! It’s a college cum-fest with the girl next door turned slut taking it on her face, in her mouth, up her ass and everywhere else. Wild screaming orgasmic naked girls gone crazy 100% free!

Sound appealing? Porn offers instant visual stimulation and sexual gratification in the comfort of your own home or office, without all the usual hassles of establishing a relationship with an actual woman. The Internet is awash with porn and it’s not hard to find find multiple lifetimes worth of visual stimulus streamed to your computer in an instant for free. Just don’t get caught at work, avoid anything illegal and you’ll stay out of trouble.

You might feel a bit ashamed about watching porn, but hey; who are other people to judge you for what you do in your spare time? They’re probably doing it too. Just about every guy is, after all. Those hypocrites!

Time for a reality check though. Is free porn really free? And even if you do pay for it, is it worth the real cost?

The girls in porn don’t love you back

If you overlook for a moment the general grunginess of the industry that produces it, the way porn stars get treated as disposable, and the negative impact of porn on our brains, one of the remaining problems with porn is that time you spend looking at pornography is time that you’re not spending developing communication skills and relationships with real people. Including real women you could potentially end up in a sexually fulfilling relationship with.

Porn is designed to manipulate us into devoting our time, attention and money to it by tricking our brain into believing in a fantasy world where the women we see are available to us. But in reality, the women in porn never love us back. If we don’t know any women with sexual relationship potential or have no idea how to meet them, we’re wasting time that we could be spending learning how to meet and relate to women in the real world.

Porn also gives us a rather distorted view of what women like to do sexually. Sure, some women like to have sex like a porn star and there is a sort of glamor in the porn-star image that can be fun to play with. But before a woman will experiment sexually, she needs to feel safe and feel like she can trust you. Trust develops over time as you relate together. It doesn’t just switch straight on like an Internet porn video.

Building trust with a woman requires social skills that you just don’t see in porn videos. A hot woman turns up at the door answering an advertisement for a room for rent. She’s sweet-as, like the girl next door, and really pretty. Mike answers, invites her in and tells her that the rent is a f_ck a night. She thinks for a minute before answering affirmatively by dropping her panties and he takes her for all she’s worth right there on camera.

Yeah, right. This just doesn’t happen in the real world. Women are emotional beings wanting love, intimacy, safety, security and a sense of being cared for. When they get this, they feel comfortable to experiment and push their sexual boundaries. There’s not a whole lot of secure caring going on in porn though.

Porn is most attractive when we’re lonely, depressed and sexually frustrated. It offers a short-term fix to a long-term problem. It’s a bit like smoking cigarettes to relieve stress: you get brief relief, but in the longer term it’s counter-productive.

I don’t see the occasional glimpse of porn as anything to be too worried about, and I don’t think it’s ever helpful to shame people for their behaviour so I don’t condemn guys who look at porn. I used to look every now and then when I wanted a quick escape, but nowadays it just reminds me how futile and ultimately frustrating porn is. Knowing I’m being manipulated by the girls, the producers and the websites delivering it pisses me off, and turns me off even more.

However, If you’re spending large amounts of time looking at porn then you’re wasting a valuable resource that you could be using to build your confidence, meet women, or make yourself more interesting and attractive to women. If you’re using porn to avoid unpleasant feelings like loneliness and boredom, then start identifying and dealing with the underlying causes.

Develop your social skills. Take up new interests. Expand your horizons. When you feel the urge to view porn, pick up the phone and call a female friend for a chat instead; or a guy friend if you don’t have any. Organize to do something socially with new people. Plan a party and get your friends to invite their female friends. There are hundreds of ways to meet women in the real world. Turn off your computer, get out there and do it.

Relationships with real women will always have infinitely more potential for fulfillment than porn can ever offer. They just take longer to establish, and many guys hooked on porn don’t know where to start. Start by making a commitment to building your confidence with real women in environments where women hang out. You’ll naturally start attracting women you’re interested in and living the sex life you desire in the real world, rather than fantasizing over online porn with the hidden strings it has attached.