Make Eye Contact With Strangers

Hey there, it’s Graham with another confidence building activity for you this week. And this activity is all about making eye contact with strangers. As you’re going about your daily routine, as you’re walking particularly through crowds of people and you see other strangers, the basic thing that you need to do here is to simply make eye contact with them and hold that eye contact for as long as possible. Now, there’s an interesting little social phenomena here when two people make eye contact, particularly two strangers. One of them will always avert their gaze first. And what happens is that the person with the highest level of social status and self-confidence, which tend to go together, is the person that maintains the gaze the longest. This is very interesting and you’ll start to notice this. Whenever you make eye contact with someone, the person that averts their gaze first is the one with the lower level of self-confidence. (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Have Sex

A close friend of mine was telling me recently of her dissatisfaction and frustration in her experience having sex with men. “I want to feel the sacredness of sex.”, she said, “Guys seem so focused on ejaculation that a lot of the time I just don't enjoy sex at all.”

How to Have Sex

Image by Flickr uggboy

I suspect many women are in the same boat. As the conversation progressed, I got the sense that it wasn't just sacredness that was missing from my friend's sexual encounters. There was a more basic problem: many guys just don't seem to know what they're doing. “Often they're trying to put their penis in my vagina when I'm not even aroused yet. I'm not wet, and it just tears and really hurts.” Ouch. “They don't even seem to know how to turn a woman on. You could say it's just the guys that I'm choosing, but these are conscious guys and one of them had even studied tantra; and they still don't seem to know what to do.”

It may seem pretty basic that a woman needs to be aroused and lubricated before she can enjoy sex, but even getting to that point can be challenging.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Using Tantra to Develop Your Masculine Confidence

I've been interested lately in how Tantra can help me take my own confidence to new levels, and recently interviewed Tantric Practitioner David Anderson from to discuss how you can use Tantric techniques to boost your sexual confidence and become more confident in relationships with women generally.

Many men are afraid of women and don't show up as a masculine man around women. We're often particularly afraid of women's emotions, and this all stems from being stuck emotionally back with mum. When we were a boy we sought love from our mother, and the fear was that if mum didn't love us we'd be alone and we'd die, so we did anything we could to get love and attention from her.

We run stories about our mother in our heads that keep us stuck in this pattern which we project onto all the other women in our life. The most powerful way to break out of these stories is to be honest with ourselves and our mothers about how we felt towards her growing up. When we start taking responsibility for our mother issues we start attracting different women into our life.

Women often put men to the test to see what we're made of and whether they can trust us.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How to Develop Your Masculinity

Being a man in today's world can be a challenge. Fortunately there are a lot of resources out there that can help get us in touch with the masculinity at our core and be more confident and effective in the world.

Between fellow course junkie Dunstan Bertschinger and I, we've explored a bunch of books, courses and workshops that have helped us get in touch with our intuition, emotions, and inner magician. Dunstan is a swimming coach who helps his clients gain confidence by developing their relationship with the water. He sees learning to swim as a metaphor for finding your place in the world: you can relax and trust the water to support you, or you can struggle to stay afloat.

Here's a podcast conversation between the two of us discussing several courses and workshops we've found helpful lately for developing confidence and getting in touch with our masculinity. Some of the themes we cover:

  • The real meaning of confidence
  • Opening your heart to receiving from others
  • Being real with women and other people
  • The problem with being nice when we're inauthentic
  • Giving up perfectionism
  • Transforming emotional wounds into personal power
  • The power of naming your fears
  • Your thoughts and feelings are not real
  • The secrets of personal magic/alchemy
  • Overcoming creepiness
  • Reversing our childhood conditioning and being honest
  • Overturning negative beliefs

It's real, it's raw, and you can preview it by clicking the play button:

The full interview is included in The Confident Man Program.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Want Free Porn?

See hot young barely legal teens getting banged right now! It's a college cum-fest with the girl next door turned slut taking it on her face, in her mouth, up her ass and everywhere else. Wild screaming orgasmic naked girls gone crazy 100% free!

Sound appealing? Porn offers instant visual stimulation and sexual gratification in the comfort of your own home or office, without all the usual hassles of a relationship with an actual woman. And the Internet is awash with it. Look hard enough and you'll find it for free; but if you're in a hurry you can whip your credit card out and find multiple lifetimes worth of visual stimulus streamed to your computer in an instant. Just don't get caught at work, avoid anything illegal and you'll stay out of trouble.

You might feel a bit ashamed though; but hey, who are other people to judge you for what you do in your spare time? They're probably doing it too. Just about every guy is, after all. Those hypocrites!

Time for a reality check though. Is free porn really free? And even if you do pay for it, is it worth the real cost?

If you overlook for a moment the general grungyness of the industry that produces it and the way most so-called porn stars get treated, one of the remaining problems with porn is that time you spend looking at pornography is time that you're not spending developing communication skills and relationships with real people.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago