Hey, it's Graham here from The Confident Man Project, and you can probably hear that there's some kookaburras going off down in the distance in the bush land here. I'm out in the beautiful bush land just out the back of my place. And kookaburras are a native bird of Australia. It's a bit unusual; it's got this funky kind of laughing sort of sound that it makes, and, yeah, it just reminds me what a beautiful country I live in. I'm a pretty lucky guy.
So I want to spread some of that luck out to you by talking about the challenge of learning to be confident talking to women on the phone. And how do you go about doing this? Because I know a lot of you guys like me are just terrified of actually picking up the phone and calling the woman after we've got her phone number, so how do you get confident doing that and get in the mode where it's actually a fun thing to do rather than something that just fills you with fear and dread?
Well, the basic idea is to practice. Practice makes perfect. Not that you want to be perfect; it's just that practice will relieve a lot of your anxiety about picking up the phone and calling women that you like. And the people to practice on are the women that are already in your life because, chances are, as a guy, you probably have a lot of women in your life already, just female friends, that you're neglecting. Even if you don't have a lot, you probably have a few that you don't actually pick up the phone and call all that often just to see how they're doing.
So what I'm suggesting is that you start actually calling female friends in your life on a regular basis. Make a list of all the girls that you know that you get on okay with that you feel you'd be comfortable just talking to on the phone. All you have to do is make brief conversations. You don't have to get into big deep-and-meaningfuls with them, or into big epic conversations or anything.
Simply make a list of the women in your life and their numbers and start working your way through the list on a regular basis, calling them just to say, "Hey, it's Graham here" - or whatever your name is; don't use my name - "and I just wanted to give you a call to say hi and see how you're doing."
And generally most people respond in a pretty positive manner, particularly if they're already friends of yours, and once you've been doing this for a while you will start to feel very comfortable and confident just talking to women on the phone. You can then extend that out to start talking to women that you don't know very well or girls whose numbers you might have got or whatever. You can just get comfortable at simply talking to people on the phone and saying hi and talking about how they're going and what's going on.
So this is a very simple thing to do. It's really just a matter of practice, just picking up the phone, ringing women that are already in your life, saying hi and seeing how they're doing. And as you do this, you'll notice that your social network starts to grow because you're on these people's radar more often and the women in your life already generally have female friends that you might not know and the more often that you're in contact with people, the more often you're likely to get invited out to places and just hang out with people and improve your social skills generally.
All because you managed to pick up the phone, call women that you already know and just say, "Hey, how you doing?" So give this a go and just notice how much more confident you feel talking to girls on the phone.