I recently came across the most excellent 2019 BBC documentary Nadiya: Anxiety and Me offering profound insights regarding conventional treatment of anxiety and panic disorders. It follows the brave journey of UK celebrity chef and panic attack sufferer Nadiya Hussain as she seeks mental health treatment for her chronic anxiety for the first time, on camera. (more…)
In the article “The Effect of Integrating Music Listening With an Attachment- And Affective-Focused Short-Term Psychotherapy in an Individual With Relational Trauma: The Case of ‘James.’”[1], G. Paul Blimling describes a hybridized case study using music chosen by a client nicknamed “James” within psychotherapy to help them heal their early life attachment trauma. By facilitating trust in the relationship with the therapist, collaborative music listening helped the client access and express strong emotions which would otherwise overwhelm and incapacitate them, and as a result healed their core attachment wound[2].
Karen Riggs Skean responds in her article “Integrating Client-Chosen Music in Relational Trauma Treatment: Pathways to the Heart”[3], noting that Blimling is a talented cellist, and adding that integrating his musicianship into his role as a therapist “helped him be more fully present with the client, which in turn helped the client be more present as well”[4]. Bringing his musical background to the therapy setting helped to bridge the gap with a client who was initially extremely reticent, untrusting and hostile.[5]
Ben G. Adams continues the conversation in his article “Self-Selected Music for Relational Trauma: Commentary on the Psychotherapy Case of ‘James’”[6] by pointing out that while integrating music listening into mainstream therapy sessions may at first seem novel, it actually represents a return to our hunter-gatherer ancestors, when music was integral to the shamanic healing process. By combining the music and psychotherapy, Blimling has in fact reconciled what was originally a unified societal role.[7]
In this essay I summarise the use of music for healing attachment trauma in Blimling’s case study and Skean & Adams’s responses, and discuss how it informs and impacts my own current musical practice and future projects. (more…)
Rhonda Byrne’s book The Secret is a follow-up to the phenomenally successful movie of the same name, both of which describe the so-called Law of Attraction and how to make it work for you in your life. I am a strong believer that we get more of whatever we focus on in life, even though I don’t go along with much of the new-age mumbo-jumbo in the book and movie; and there’s a major catch they barely mention.
We naturally attract more of what we focus on because of the way our brains work. The universe doesn’t just magically provide it to us, nor do our thoughts broadcast or receive information, nor can we just sit back and wait for whatever we think of to manifest themselves in our reality. Yet I still believe The Law of Attraction works when it comes to improving our experience of life; so let me explain why. (more…)
Hey guys, would you like to have more self-confidence? Would you like to just feel more comfortable being yourself in social situations? How about would you like to feel more confident around women? Or would you like to just be more successful in life generally?
http://youtu.be/MSHUECMmpgY
One of the activities that I recommend in The Confident Man Program Guide is to learn to play a musical instrument. There are a whole host of benefits to doing this beyond simply being able to play music: You also learn a whole bunch of life success skills in the process such as:
Once you’ve got some basic skills under your belt you can also jam with other musicians and join a band where you’ll also learn: (more…)
One of the best things I’ve ever done for my own self-confidence and for my relationship with my parents was to go “no-contact” with my narcissistic mother for over a year. Narcissistic parents create a family dynamic which is all about putting their own needs ahead of everyone else. This becomes a real problem when we become adults because we can end up trapped by the unconscious belief that our parent’s needs and desires must always come before our own.
Because the emotional dynamics of the parent/child relationship are so strong, this will keep us perpetually stuck as an emotional child emotionally even though we are physically adults. Since our unconscious mind projects our experience of our parents onto everyone else and onto the world at large, the limiting impact of being trapped in the role of a child who must always please their parents restricts our whole lives.
Going “No Contact” With A Narcissistic Parent Can Give You Space To Heal.
Going “no-contact” with a narcissistic parent is one way to grow up emotionally by breaking this unhealthy parental relationship dynamic.