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How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Father

Today you’re going to learn about improving the relationship that you have with your father. Your relationship with your father has a massive impact on your sense of self as a man and your general level of self-confidence. And this exercise is going to be particularly easy for you if your father is still alive.

If he’s not still alive or you don’t have any contact with him, that’s going to be a little bit trickier. But this is primarily for guys whose fathers are still alive, and the idea here is that you go and connect with your father in a way that perhaps you haven’t done before.

If you’ve already got a great relationship with your father, that’s cool. If you see him regularly and you spend some one-on-one time with him, then that’s exactly what you want to be aiming for. But if you haven’t, here’s how to make that happen.

http://youtu.be/3_YUQ-af18Y

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Read Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton

Hey there, it’s Graham here from The Confident Man Project. I want to recommend to you one of the best books that I’ve ever read in the field of personal development, and it’s called Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton. This is an absolutely fantastic book to read not just once but to read over and over because I find I keep having experiences in my life where I realize, “Oh, that’s what Blanton was rabbiting on about in that book about being honest.”

So the background of this radical honesty thing is that essentially the author outlines three different levels of honesty that we typically exhibit in our lives with other people. The first one is honesty about facts; things like talking about the weather, different ideas, things that are generally accepted to be true.

http://youtu.be/neChnMcI4oM

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Are You Frustrated With Your Life?

Hey there,

I want to share a secret that will change your life. But first, a question:

  • Do you feel frustrated with your life?

Or to go deeper:

  • Are you stuck in a dead-end job?
  • Uncertain what you really want to do?
  • Do you find yourself feeling angry and not knowing why?
  • Do you wonder why the girls you like don’t seem to like you?
  • Have you given up when it comes to women, dating, sex and relationships?

OK, that’s enough… I know these can be painful questions. But I want to let you in on a secret that enlightened people have known for centuries which will help you dissolve your frustration:

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By Graham Stoney, ago

How Your Emotions Work

Hi, I’m Graham. I had 18 years of formal education – that’s 12 years of primary and high school, and then another six years at university studying engineering – and during that time, I learnt a lot about how to think but very little about how to feel or how my emotions worked.

In fact, I can’t remember in that entire time a single class where I sat down and had a teacher teach me how my emotions work.

Now, possibly maybe in art classes or in music classes or maybe even in English they might’ve come close, but really nothing all that direct and concrete.

And that’s a shame because, fundamentally as humans, we’re all driven by our emotions. All our behavior is an attempt to either move towards pleasure or move away from pain.

So emotions are absolutely key to getting what we want in life. They’re also the key to a successful relationship, especially with women.

So in the rest of this article, I’m going to give you a quick introduction into how your emotions work.

https://youtu.be/sgPUXEQnA2Y

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By Graham Stoney, ago

The Challenge Of Growing Up With A Stoic Mother

I recently had a conversation with my mother that illustrated for me the challenge of growing up with a stoic, critical, emotionally unavailable mother.

My parents are now in their late 80’s and we were headed out to Sunday lunch at their favourite club. On the way my mother starts telling me about an experience that morning in their local church service at the church where I grew up.

“Remember that crazy lady you used to live with?”, my mother says.

“You mean Megan?”, I guess.

“Yes, your friend Megan”.

A minute ago she was a crazy lady, now she’s my friend. Although we haven’t been in touch much since being flatmates years ago, I understand from what my parents tell me that Megan is still part of the ministry team at the church.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Basic Emotions

HappinessMany of us guys lack a basic emotional literacy; we have physical sensations when we’re feeling something, but we often don’t know how to identify what we’re feeling, nor are we able to recognise emotions in other people. Being able to identify emotions is the basis of empathy, which is a core communication skill.

In short, most of us don’t understand how our emotions work. Simply learning to identify and express the following basic emotions will improve your relationships dramatically: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

Bravery Is Not The Absence Of Fear

I have a good friend who is in the process of working through her childhood emotional abandonment trauma and renegotiating fairer adult relationships with the people in her life.

This kind of work can be heavy going at times and during a recent heart-to-heart conversation about her experience, she said:
“People keep telling me I’m brave. I don’t feel very brave.”

I was curious about this so I asked: “Well what do you think bravery is?”

She thought for a moment and replied: “Bravery is superheroes rescuing defenceless people.”

“I have a different perspective”, I said:

“Bravery isn’t the absence of fear:
Bravery is taking action in the face of fear; even when you don’t know if you will succeed.”

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By Graham Stoney, ago

10 Signs Your Family Is Crazy-Making

A few years ago when I did The Hoffman Process, one of the facilitators described [intlink id=”480″ type=”post”]my mother’s behaviour[/intlink] as “crazy-making”.

I thought, “Wow, that’s a fantastic description.”

And it wasn’t just my mother; it was the whole family dynamic that she and my passive father helped establish. Take a perfectly normal infant child, bring them up in a crazy-making emotionally disconnected family and you’ve pretty much got a recipe for insanity.

But how do you know if you’re living in a crazy-making family? Well, I’m glad you asked.

So here’s the top 10 signs that your family is crazy-making:

http://youtu.be/W8H98yKcymo

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By Graham Stoney, ago