This is a guest post by Monica Viera from The Female Insider.
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Whether you meet a woman in person or online, it’s generally a good idea to start off with an opener that will help a woman let her guard down a bit around you.
Don’t know where to start? Here are some suggestion on complements for women upon your first interaction.
Well it’s that time of year again. Do you make New Year’s Resolutions? How did you go with last year’s? Have you given up smoking yet? Lost weight? Learned to be confident with women? Or perhaps you gave up on the whole idea years ago because you found that it just doesn’t work.
Well join the club. But if you’d like this year to be better than last year, you need to start doing something differently. So here’s a process to make New Year’s Resolutions that actually work and make a profound difference in your life:
The first and most important step is to frame your New Year’s Resolutions as goals that you can work towards, and write them down. Get yourself a goal book to write your goals down in and track your progress towards them. Keep it handy as you’ll be using it a lot: It will remind you of what goals are important to you so you don’t get distracted by other less important activities, and it will help build your confidence as you start to notice goals that you set yourself being achieved.
Since the beginning of the year I’ve been studying Music Performance full-time at a local tertiary college, and the experience has been extremely healing for me. The interactions with teachers and other students have brought a lot of my unresolved adolescent insecurities to the surface: in some ways, going to college is like going back to high school. My fears about whether I would fit in brought up a lot of anxiety for me, coupled with a very strong desire to try hard to make other students like me. I often had to take a deep breath and remind myself to focus on what I was learning and just have fun participating instead.
“Full-time” at the college I’m attending is only 2.5 days per week; although I spend pretty much all the rest of the week doing homework of various forms: learning to play new instruments, practising songs for our performance night, writing my own songs and getting them recorded.
In the process I’ve found music an excellent way to express anger and rage. A lot of the songs I’ve been writing have a great deal of anger in them, inspired primarily by life circumstances and/or other people’s behaviour. Writing, performing, recording and releasing these songs has been extremely cathartic for me and the feedback from the other students has been very positive and accepting. Over half my fellow students are straight out of high school and also have a lot of anger and rage to express. Although I’m more than twice their age, they get where I’m coming from.
Finally, my inner teenager is beginning to feel accepted.
The Song To Play When You’re Having A Bad Day
After six months hard work, I’ve even released my first single: a song titled Everything Is Fucked that I wrote in a yin yoga class in North Bondi at 6:37pm on 17th February 2017 while in Frog pose for seven agonising minutes.
At the time, I had been suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for nine years and after five months pushing myself through three excruciating yoga sessions a week, wasn’t getting the results that I had hoped for: I had totally failed to pick-up at a yoga studio full of gorgeous young women, I was rapidly going broke because my Life Coaching business had failed to take off (who wants a sick Life Coach?!?), both my elderly parents had been diagnosed with cancer, a sweet hot girl I met online and completely fell for had started going out with a musician who lived 12,000 km closer to her than me; and I was still chronically ill. When the dishwasher in my apartment appeared to have stopped working properly, that was the last straw for me.
Journey Therapy is a physical and emotional healing technique based on a guided visualization described in the book The Journey by Brandon Bays. The process is based on Neurolinguistic Programming Timeline Therapy and involves imagining yourself travelling through your body to a location where trapped emotion is stored. During the visualization you have the opportunity to get complete with people from the past, say what you feel you needed to say to them at the age that you got hurt, allow them to respond, release the painful emotion and forgive them. Releasing the trapped emotion heals the trauma and sets you free to move on with your life.
The process is guided by unconscious responses to questions from the therapist, and facilitates releasing emotions that you may not even be aware of. It works best in the context of a trusting therapeutic relationship where you feel free to let your imagination run free and express whatever emotions arise during the process. (more…)
One of the most challenging childhood scenarios for a man to recover from is emotional abandonment. I grew up in a household where emotions weren’t dealt with openly in ways that felt safe to me, so I know this scenario backwards; and so do most of my clients.
However, emotional abandonment can be hard to spot unless you know what you’re looking for so to find out whether emotional abandonment in childhood could still be affecting your adult life, check out my article on 12 Adult Signs That You’ve Experienced Emotional Abandonment In Childhood.
One of the defining moments of my life was realising that I needed help when it came to attracting and relating to women. Back when I worked as a computer engineer, I was a smart guy with a high income; but I just didn’t know how to relate to hot girls. I knew that there were these guys called “pickup artists” who could do it, but for me it was just impossible.
I had had a few girlfriends and while they were lovely people, they just didn’t feel right for me. Rather than having the freedom to choose the women I dated, it seemed like I had to settle for whatever came my way. I felt like something was wrong with me or was missing. Perhaps you can relate.
Ironically my stubborn pride was getting in the way. I thought I should be able to sort this out myself. “I shouldn’t have to get help just to be able to meet, talk to and date women”, I thought to myself. I mean how hard could it be, right?
Well for me, it was very hard.
All that started to change the day I decided to seek help in learning the secrets of how to attract women. The “secret men’s business” if you will. In an ideal world this is the sort of thing my father would have taught me; but I didn’t grow up in an ideal world. My passive father was absolutely clueless when it came to women, which is why he ended up marrying my controlling mother.
I was determined not to make the same mistake but didn’t yet know how.