I learned a valuable lesson the other day:

I can't help guys that aren't serious about wanting help!

You see, I was chatting on MSN to a girl I'd dated recently, and she asked me:

“Graham, how is it that you have so many women interested in you?”

“Why do you ask?”, I replied

“Well, I have this friend who's really struggling to meet women. Can you help him?”

My natural reaction was to think “Sure, I love helping guys with this.” But somehow my gut instinct kicked in. Maybe it was the fact that this guy wasn't asking me directly, or perhaps it was just the phase of the moon. But something twigged in me and made me ask:

“Is he serious about this?”

“Yeah. Of course. Why do you think he wouldn't be???”

She seemed offended that I'd even considered the possibility that he might not be serious.

“OK then. Yes, as a matter of fact, I can help him...”

The girl knew that I was a writer, but while we were dating I'd never got around to telling her what I actually wrote about. I went on to explain that I had the perfect answer to her friend's question in the form of my book Confident Man.

The book describes in detail the exact process I used to transform my life from nerdy computer engineer who was hopeless with women, to a man who now regularly has women asking me to meet up for coffee with them. It is precisely targeted to answer to my friend's question. I couldn't image a better match if stone tablets dropped from the sky at that precise moment in history with a message to help him.

So I pointed them to the website where her friend could pick up a copy. And guess what... they made every excuse under the sun as to why he didn't want the answer to his own question! “It looks like it's got a virus” he said. Nope... no viruses on my site buddy. “It looks dodgy” he said. Dodgy? Hardly. It's the real deal. “What, I have to pay for it?” he said. Oh, so we want a freebie. Well that's not what I call a good indication of commitment.

Crikey! I go to all the trouble of finely handcrafting an answer to this guy's problem in advance to save him all the time I had to invest in sorting it out, and then lead him to it; and he still doesn't get it.

There is no magic quick-fix formula for attracting women. Sites that try to sell you one are running scams. If you want more success with women, you need to make some changes in your life. You need to take action. Not your mates, not your mother, not your sister or your brother. But you. You can't change your life by getting someone else to do it for you, which is what this guy wanted. My intuition about that turned out to be spot-on; he wouldn't even take the first step, let alone the others I recommend in the book that would actually get him the success he wanted.

If you're reading this, chances are you probably want more success with women. I've lead you to water, but I can't make you drink. And frankly, I'm a bit over trying to help guys who make excuses and won't take action. I'd much rather work with guys who are committed, because I know they get awesome results when they read my book, and getting results is what I get excited about.

So start drinking at the well of knowledge and charting a course towards a life of vastly greater success with women. Even if it does have mixed metaphors. If you're prepared to take the first step, and the ones after that which ensure your success, get your copy of Confident Man now.

Categories: Mindset

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.