Building confidence can take time and commitment. Each success moves us closer to the goal of being the person we were meant to be, but it can be easy to overlook or forget even major personal breakthroughs when we're in it for the long haul.

Our brains are wired to seek out problems in order to solve them ahead of time. This leaves many of us with a tendency to dwell on the negative rather than appreciating the progress that we're making and the awesome things that are in our life as a result.

One of the best ways to counter this natural tendency towards negative thinking is to celebrate your successes by sharing them with other people. I've noticed in my own life that my conditioning against pride left me reticent to share my successes with other people. I literally felt ashamed of being proud of myself!

The only way to counter shame is to share the feelings behind it with other people. If you're ashamed of your successes, I encourage you to share them with other people so that you can learn to feel good about being successful.

I have a friend who is very depressed, and I recently shared with him how much I love my life at the moment. So many good things are coming to me it's ridiculous, and it feels very different to the past because I'm actually relaxing more and working less hard at making everything happen. I noticed that I felt guilty that I loved my life, while my friend is depressed. I was worried what he would think and how he would feel.

Ironically, I'm convinced that the solution to my friend's depression is to learn to express how he feels more deeply. So if he feels jealous or hopeless that I'm loving my life while he's preoccupied with misery, I've actually done him a favour... so long as he learns to express it.

I'm also hopeful that me sharing my success with him will inspire him to take the steps I have taken to shift out of my own misery into increasing levels of love and joy.

Sharing your successes on the road towards inner confidence reinforces your new confidence on a deeper level, and inspires other people. You become a leader instead of a follower. They don't need to be earth-shattering breakthroughs either; maybe it's as simple as talking to the cute girl at the bus stop or telling a woman that you'd really like to kiss her. Each step in the right direction is worth sharing.

So I invite you to share your successes now on The Confident Man Forums. Post what's been working for you lately, and feel your own confidence grow even deeper.

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.