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Become a Confident Man
Category Archives: Mindset
Rejection Isn't About You
Dealing with “rejection” is one of the hardest things for many of us to learn, especially when we lack deep inner confidence. It's taken a long time for me to get a handle on, but I'm definitely getting better at handling rejection these days.
At a recent Love, Intimacy and Sexuality workshop run by The Human Awareness Institute, I found myself dealing with rejection right from the word go. Our very first task was to choose a buddy for the weekend, and I immediately found myself drawn to the most attractive woman in the room.
Problem … Continue reading…
How To Be Cool
Cool people are, well, cool to hang around. They are relaxed in who they are and stay cool in any situation. If you want to be confident, more popular, have more friends, attract more women, or just get along more easily with other people then it's worth developing some cool traits.
Here are some ideas on how to be cool:
Forget About What Other People Think
The quintessential element underlying coolness is that you don't care what other people think of you. It's none of your business. You retain a cool detachment from other people's judgments of you … Continue reading…
Posted in Mindset Tagged avoid defensiveness, be funny, be popular, be yourself, how to be cool 3 Comments
What Are You Living In The Shadow Of?
In the backyard of my sister's holiday house where I'm currently staying is this palm tree on the right of and growing very close to a larger gum tree. The palm is living it's life in the shadow of the other tree and you can see that it's not as big or as luscious as palm trees usually are. In fact, it looks mangy and emaciated. Not flourishing. The leaves are small, few and far between. They fall off easily. This palm tree is not exactly fulfilling its full potential.
That's because the shadow from the other tree blocks the … Continue reading…
How to Handle Criticism
I've never been a big fan of criticism; even when it's accurate or well-intended, it's all too easy to trigger emotional memories of times when painful criticism was levelled at me as a defence by other people who were avoiding dealing with their own issues. I had a critical mother who often used the phrase “If your mother can't tell you, who can?” to justify overly perfectionist and often just plain hurtful criticism. My early experiences started a pattern of being overly defensive and not taking criticism at all well.
So now rather than reacting emotionally to criticism, I try … Continue reading…
How to Change the Way You Think Powerfully
The way we think has a profound impact on our self-confidence and our success in life. If you want to feel more confident and be more successful, the only think standing in your way is the grey matter between your ears. So how do we change to a more constructive way of thinking that gives us the success in life that we really want?
Positive thinking sounds great in theory, but trying to change our thoughts by sheer force of conscious effort rarely works. The key to changing the way you think on a deep and lasting basis is to … Continue reading…
Posted in Mindset Tagged anger, Beyond Success, emotions, fear, joy, love, Paul Blackburn, peace, Resolving The Mindset Riddle, sadness Leave a comment
Improve Confidence using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) Techniques
I'm excited to say that I've just added an awesome new free bonus to the Confident Man e-book package. This audio interview with Russ Harris, bestselling author of The Happiness Trap and The Confidence Gap, uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help you build even more confidence with the most powerful techniques from all of modern psychology.
The best thing I got from this interview was that feelings of confidence only arise after we've stepped out in faith and taken action. Competence precedes feelings of confidence. But how do you handle the fear and anxiety that arises when … Continue reading…
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What is Your Greatest Challenge?
Hey guys,
Here's an open question for you: what is your greatest challenge when it comes to self-confidence?
Is it confidence with women, confidence at work, being yourself around your family, dealing with fear and anxiety, believing in yourself, or something else? All of these things are or have been major stumbling blocks for me, but I'm interested to hear what obstacles you currently have that you'd just love to get past. The ones that would change your life and set you free.
Leave a comment below, or if you'd rather not have your words seen by the … Continue reading…
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How To Stay Sane When You Work In I.T.
A career in Information Technology can be mentally stimulating and great for your bank balance, but may not be quite so ideal for your emotional and mental health. Computer engineering, software development, engineering, science or any I.T. related work is great for exercising your analytical skills, but it can leave the more primitive (read: more powerful) emotional parts of your brain under utilised.
As far back as 1979, Richard Bandler and John Grinder (the guys behind Neuro Linguistic Programming) wrote in their book Frogs Into Princes:
We come from California and the whole world out there is run … Continue reading…
Deep Inner Game
I've been watching David DeAngelo's Deep Inner Game program with Dr Paul, and it's really brilliant. The program is about developing the mindset that men need to be successful, particularly focused on women, dating and relationships. This mindset is often referred to as our “inner game”, and it really extends to the bigger picture of being confident and successful in life generally.
Here are some of the key things that I've learned:
Boundaries
Many of our problems in relating to other people are caused by having a weak psychological and emotional personal boundary, often viewed as having holes … Continue reading…
Posted in Mindset Tagged anxiety, boundaries, confidence, courage, decision making, handling rejection, inner game, suffering 4 Comments
Being a Cool Guy who Doesn't Care about What Other People Think
Carol from Canberra turned up on the weekend with four of her girlfriends, in town to check out fashion week. So on Saturday night I met up with them in the city for dinner and some dancing afterwards. One of Carol's friends had had to go home early, and another guy named Terry tagged along who was a mutual friend of Andrea, one of the others.
We headed for dinner at Blackbird, a classy bar/cafe at Darling Harbour, the place to be in Sydney on a Saturday night. I sat opposite Carol, and next to her friend Jenni, who … Continue reading…
