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Category Archives: Mindset
It's a beautiful day so I've come outside to give you a confidence building exercise on getting out of your head. Now, the reason why getting out of your head is important is that we spend a lot of time doing a lot of analytical thinking, we often tend to have very analytical thinking jobs that get us really stuck in our head and we just completely lose touch with what's going on around us.
Here is an exercise for getting out of your head and developing your ability to make choices. Often when we lack self-confidence we lose our ability to make choices because we've been taught in the past that it's not okay to want what we want, it's not okay to like what we like and we have to be kind of bland and neutral about everything.
So in today's exercise we're going to start reinforcing that ability to make choices by making choices about the environment around us, and they can be arbitrary choices if you like. Any choice will do to get kick-started, so let's have a go.
Hey, it's Graham from The Confident Man Project here again and today I want to talk to you about the concept of developing a strong point of view. Now, this is a concept I've borrowed from the acting world and it's very applicable I find to guys, particularly when we lack self-confidence. Often we've given up on having a really strong point of view.
Perhaps our opinion in the past hasn't really been validated or hasn't been valued or other people haven't respected our point of view and we've learnt over time to just become kind of bland and neutral in our ideas about everything.
I'm sitting in a Youth Hostel in Melbourne, Australia where I'm staying for a couple of weeks while visiting the Melbourne International Comedy festival. I've just had breakfast and am sitting near the kitchen area chilling out before heading out for a day on the town. While I'm not one to eavesdrop, I can't help but overhear snippets of the Skype conversation of the woman sitting next to me.
And what I hear is: drama. Drama, drama, drama. "She did this", "he did that", "she said this", "she said that", "She thinks I'm a bad influence", "they don't like me", "she hated it", "it sucked", "it was awful"...
Ok, you get the idea.
If there was heaps of space, I'd simply move and get away from the negative energy; but it's pretty crowded this morning, and the conversation reminded me how easy it is to get addicted to our own drama, and the dramas in other people's lives around us.
Now it would be a different story if the woman was debriefing about her emotions regarding the drama she's describing, but I'm not hearing many words from our emotional vocabulary like "sad", "angry", "scared", "happy"; nor phrases like "I felt ...", "I feel..." etc.… Continue reading…
G’day, guys. Today you’re going to learn about how to quieten your inner critic. So your inner critic is that voice in your head that tells you that you’re stupid or that you’re wrong or that you’re not allowed to do things that you want to do or generally makes your life kind of miserable by putting the boot in and ripping into you at any opportunity.
If you’re anything like me, you have, or maybe had in the past, a very strong inner critic that is the result of a lot of criticism that you may have received when you were a kid or as an adolescent or even growing up and as an adult. Criticism even as an adult can still sting.
Hey, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project coming at you from the beautiful bush land here, and today I want to talk to you a little bit about connecting back to nature. In our urbanized environment, often a lot of the time we’ve totally lost our connection with nature. Most of us guys these days live in big cities surrounded by concrete jungles and steel structures and motorcars and stuff, and we never even walk out into bush land like this. This is what the bush looks like in case you’ve forgotten. And as a result, we’ve really lost our connection with nature and the earth and all those things, and we’ve become a little anesthetized and insulated from it all.
We tend to walk around in rubber-soled shoes all the time, and we don’t even contact real, natural stuff anymore. So as a result we develop soles of our feet that are very thin and sensitive, and we never really harden up. That’s what I’m trying to say.
Hey, it's Graham here again and today you're going to learn another confidence building activity, and this time I'm going to talk to you about cataloging your strengths. When we lack self-confidence, we often spend a lot of time on our weaknesses. We might spend a lot of time working on our weaknesses or simply dwelling on our weaknesses and noticing how we don't feel the way that we'd like to feel all the time.
Rates of mental illness are rapidly increasing in the Western world. Depression and anxiety have become common place, and they're just the tip of the iceberg compared to more severe mental illnesses such as bipolar, schizophrenia and so-called personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder.
So why has mental illness become such a problem in a society which offers more opportunity, longer life expectancies and greater possibility than ever before? What causes mental illness, and how can it be cured?
I'm not a psychiatrist or doctor so don't take what I say as medical advice, but my opinion is that virtually all mental illness is caused by a build-up of psychological pressure in the primitive emotional centres of our brains. The cure is to learn how to release this pressure in a safe environment with empathy from another human being.… Continue reading…