Hi, I’m Graham, and I’m on a mission to help single guys build self-confidence. Now, the reason why I care about this is I was one of those kids back in high school that always got picked last for the football team, the soccer team, the cricket team. Whatever it was, I was like the last one to be picked. And that wasn’t the only thing that happened, but the lack of self-confidence that I took from situations like that, when I took that out into the everyday world, totally didn’t work.

So when you lack self-confidence, it really sucks and it has a massive impact on your life. Now, I don’t need to tell you that if you’re a guy that doesn’t have self-confidence. And, in particular, the area that it impacts the worst is your relationships with women. So, yeah, guys, you really want to get this handled. And so what I want to do is I’m going to tell you three key steps that you need if you want to build self-confidence.

Now, the first thing is you need to make a commitment to yourself that this is important, that building your self-confidence is something you really want to do. I don’t know of any magic answer or any kind of overnight cures or quick fixes to low self-confidence. This is something that takes sustained effort over a period of time, but it’s absolutely well worth putting that effort in to master.

Anybody that tells you that you can have instant self-confidence or is offering you a pill or a trick or some kind of course, they’re either lying or they’re trying to sell you something if they’re telling you that you can have it overnight. You can’t. You need to make a commitment to yourself.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with somebody trying to sell you something and of course there are some great products, some books and some courses out there that will help you on the way to building self-confidence, but firstly you need to be committed to yourself and to be in this for the long haul.

The second thing that you need to do to build self-confidence is to step outside your comfort zone. A lot of us spend most of our lives living inside a fairly narrow comfort zone where we don’t grow a whole lot. We develop habits and we get used to just doing the same old things over and over. So one of the things to build self-confidence, one of the keys that you need to do, is to step outside that comfort zone.

Now, a lot of people will tell you this, but what they don’t say is that you don’t want to step too far outside your comfort zone. See, when we step outside our comfort zone and have a bad experience, our comfort zone tends to contract more and we actually end up with less confidence than what we had before.

So what you want to do is work out where your comfort zone lies and then step just a little bit outside that. Do some activity that you can enjoy, have some fun with, have a good result, a good experience with. Keep doing that over a period of time and you’ll find that your self-confidence gradually grows and grows.

And then the third thing that you want to do is to build your social skills. Self-confidence is most obvious in social situations and particularly, guys, it’s obvious in situations that involve women. So it’s absolutely key that you work on your social skills. And there’s a bunch of different ways that you can do this. You can go along to organizations like Toastmasters which teach public speaking, social and leadership skills. You can read books like this one, How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes. I highly recommend that you grab this book and get out there and practice the things that it says with people so that you can learn to relate better to people, build better social skills and in doing so you’ll find that your social confidence and your general self-confidence really goes through the roof.

Now, to help you with this stuff, guys, what I’ve done is I’ve put together a free online course that you can subscribe to which will take you through step-by-step a process of expanding your comfort zone gradually, building on your self-confidence and giving you the information that you need to make it all happen. Just enter your name and email address into the yellow box beside this article to sign up and I look forward to hearing from you how it goes.

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.