The Easiest Way Ever for Men to Build Confidence With Women

Hey, it’s Graham here, and I’m coming at you from my sister’s place this time. And, hey, can you notice behind me on the wall there were some matching degrees? Isn’t that cute? My sister and her husband happened to go to the same university, so, yeah, they’ve got matching degrees on the wall. But that’s not really what I’m here to talk about. What I want to do is give you my biggest tip ever for meeting and becoming confident with women.

Now, I was talking to my mate Peter last week and he said to me that when he read The Confident Man Program Guide, this was the biggest tip that he got from it and that’s why I list it as my number 1 skill that any guy who wants to be confident with women should learn. And so do you want to know what it is? I’ll tell you.

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Get Some Cool New Clothes

Hey there, it’s Graham again from The Confident Man Project, and I want to teach you this week about how to go out and get yourself decked out in some hot new clothes, not anything like what I’m currently wearing, ironically enough. But that’s okay because I’m going to tell you what you need to know here.

So basically the story is that if you are still wearing the sort of clothes that your mother dressed you in when you were a kid, that’s probably not the latest fashion of today and it’s probably not what you want to be wearing when you hit the town when you’re out strutting your stuff, meeting new people and just having a bit of fun.

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Go To A Dance Class

Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project again, and today I want to give you my number 1 tip for building your confidence with women, for getting exercise, for just having a lot of fun. This is an absolute showstopper. You’ve got to go do this if you haven’t already done it. So what am I talking about? Well, I’m talking about learning to dance.

Now, for me, I want to all boys’ high school where playing rugby and getting your head kicked in was kind of the way to be the macho man and be a bit of a hero, and the whole idea of dancing sounding a bit kind of gay to me, to be honest. I didn’t think I would be doing that.

How wrong I was because women absolutely love men that dance. There are genetic biological reasons for that. In the animal kingdom, a lot of animals use dance as a way of attracting their mate, and a lot of that same programming is built into the brains of human beings as well.

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Read Losing My Virginity by Richard Branson

Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project, and today I want to talk about how to be successful. Well, how the hell should I know how to be successful? If you want to be successful, I suspect you take tips from somebody who’s already really successful. And that’s why I’m going to recommend – instead of listening to me – that you read this book by Richard Branson called Losing My Virginity.

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What Do You Do If You Haven’t Any Success?

In a recent post I recommended that if you want your confidence to grow more quickly, it’s worth developing the habit of [intlink id=”1761″ type=”post”]sharing your successes with other people[/intlink]. In response I got an email asking:

What do you do if you haven’t any success?

OK, great question. It may seem hard to celebrate something that you don’t already have. So here’s my suggestion on how to handle it:

Allow Yourself To Feel The Pain

We live in a society that systematically denies and suppresses emotional pain. Most of us have been taught to hide how we feel both from ourselves and from other people. Having  a lack of success in life is painful for a man. For me, it brings up feelings of sadness, rejection, hopelessness, despair and anger.

These feelings are painful, but allowing ourselves to feel them activates the grieving process which takes us back to a clean slate where we can start creating what we want in life. Skipping this step leaves us building on a foundation of pain, which lays dormant ready to undermine our future progress whenever one of these painful emotions is triggered again.

Since most of us guys have been trained to suppress our pain, this may not come naturally. Grab a journal and start writing about how you feel around not having the success in life that you want. Be specific about what it is that you’re missing: relationships with women, money, sex, power, health. Whatever upsets you, write about it. Allow yourself to dwell on the emotions rather than the thoughts that you have about it. Dwelling on negative thoughts creates more negativity, whereas dwelling on unpleasant emotions allows them to dissipate. If you want to feeling really gutsy, share what you discover with someone else you trust, or do it anonymously on the forum.

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Celebrate Your Successes By Sharing Them With Others

Building confidence can take time and commitment. Each success moves us closer to the goal of being the person we were meant to be, but it can be easy to overlook or forget even major personal breakthroughs when we’re in it for the long haul.

Our brains are wired to seek out problems in order to solve them ahead of time. This leaves many of us with a tendency to dwell on the negative rather than appreciating the progress that we’re making and the awesome things that are in our life as a result.

One of the best ways to counter this natural tendency towards negative thinking is to celebrate your successes by sharing them with other people. I’ve noticed in my own life that my conditioning against pride left me reticent to share my successes with other people. I literally felt ashamed of being proud of myself!

The only way to counter shame is to share the feelings behind it with other people. If you’re ashamed of your successes, I encourage you to share them with other people so that you can learn to feel good about being successful.

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Are You Frustrated With Your Life?

Hey there,

I want to share a secret that will change your life. But first, a question:

  • Do you feel frustrated with your life?

Or to go deeper:

  • Are you stuck in a dead-end job?
  • Uncertain what you really want to do?
  • Do you find yourself feeling angry and not knowing why?
  • Do you wonder why the girls you like don’t seem to like you?
  • Have you given up when it comes to women, dating, sex and relationships?

OK, that’s enough… I know these can be painful questions. But I want to let you in on a secret that enlightened people have known for centuries which will help you dissolve your frustration:

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Are You Afraid Of Missing Out In Life?

Hey dude,

I have some tough questions for you, but I think you’re up to the task.

So let’s be straight with each other: How’s your life going?

How’s it really going?

  • Are you in a relationship with the girl of your dreams? Married? Engaged? Dating?
  • Do you have a kick-ass job that you absolutely love?
  • Is the money flowing your way?
  • Do you have hobbies that you’re passionate about?
  • Are you surrounded by supportive friends who are living the lives of their dreams too?

Or is your life more like this:

  • Are you still single after all these years?
  • Stuck in a dead-end job?
  • Surrounded by losers?
  • Lacking passion for anything?

I know it may be a painful topic but also ask yourself this:

Are you afraid of missing out on what you really want in your life?

This question is so painful for many guys that they settle for what they think they can get in life, instead of going after what they really want. And the problem with settling is that deep down, you’ll know that you deserved better. The people you settle with will sense it too. Either you’ll live out the rest of your life in denial and unhappiness, or you’ll end up having a mid-life crisis or mental breakdown.

It never goes well in the end.

All because you were afraid of missing out.

If you’re afraid of missing out, there’s a valuable message in that fear for you. It’s telling you that you’re missing a key ingredient that every man needs in order to be successful in life:

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Do You Feel Like A Failure?

Hey there,

I have some tough questions for you:

  • Do you feel like a failure in life?
  • Have you failed to achieve what you wanted to achieve so far?
  • Ever feel like life is passing you by and you don’t know what to do?

I know this can be painful to admit, but if this sounds like you, there’s a key ingredient that you’re missing. Let me spell it out loud and clear:

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The Secrets To Getting What You Want In Life

Have you ever found yourself getting angry with someone, and wondering why? Chances are they were stopping you in some way from getting your needs met. For instance, I was recently at a Shamanic Journeying and Soul Healing workshop, where I found myself getting increasingly angry with an obese woman who was dominating the workshop with her stories of past lives, astral traveling and other new-age nonsense. We ended up in a conflict which ultimately led to me getting what I wanted, and reminded me of some of the secrets to getting what you want in life.

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