Ever worry that you're going to run out of things to say when talking to a woman? It seems like the more attractive the women, the more fearful I get of that awkward silence when I don't know what to say. One solution is to learn a bunch of canned routines and prefabricated stories that we can punch out to avoid the awkwardness; but using other guy's stuff grates on me and somehow I never get around to polishing my own stories for use in social situations. I'd rather be spontaneous and live in-the-moment, responding to the flow of conversation rather than trying to control and manipulate it all the time. If only there were a way to learn how to do that...

Well it turns out there is!

Over the last few months I've fallen in love with Theatrical Improvisation, also known as Improv. This is the technique that comedians and actors use to be spontaneous on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway, and the results are often hilarious. Lately I've been doing every Improv class and workshop I can get to. The rules of Improv really appeal to me because they're all about freeing yourself from your own constraints and letting your natural creativity flow spontaneously. Some of the basic principles of Improv also turn out to be basic ingredients for success in life and are particularly useful when talking to women. For example:

  • Go with the flow rather than against it.

  • Always accept what other people say about you as the truth.

  • Never get defensive. Be playful instead.

  • There is no right or wrong; just learning experiences.

  • There is no such thing as failure.

  • Don't take everything so seriously.

  • Everything is just an experiment.

  • Put your attention on the other person.

  • Listen to what she says rather than thinking about what you'll say next.

  • Reply with “Yes, and ...” to move the conversation forward.

  • The woman will give you all the clues you need.

  • Don't try to be clever.

  • Be curious. “Isn't it interesting that...”.

  • Learn to find the interesting side of everyday items and concepts.

  • Always stay present and in-the-moment.

  • If you get stuck, talk about things in your environment.

  • Acknowledge what's really going on. Honesty breaks tension.

  • Take risks. Break rules. Be silly.

If only there was a course in using Improv while talking to women.

Well it turns out there is!

Vince Kelvin's Improvisation for Pickup and Seduction CD kitLegendary crazy man pickup artist Vince Kelvin has a background in the performing arts and used to teach Improv classes for a living. I've just been checking out his Improvisation For Pickup And Seduction Practice CDs, and highly recommend you grab a copy if you worry about losing the plot while talking to attractive women. The first two CDs cover the basics of applying improvisation principles to your conversations, while the third CD gives a series of drill exercises that you can practice to fine-tune your improvising skills. It's something you'll want to listen to over and over as your become more confident at improvising in conversations. Get it now from Kings Of Pickup.

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.