How To Take Your Mother Off The Brake Pedal Of Your Life

Many of my coaching clients grew up with a critical, controlling, domineering mother. They come to me because I've experienced this myself and know how challenging it can be to overcome on your own. Despite the challenge they face, I find my clients often make huge breakthroughs in their lives once they start addressing their mother issues both in Skype sessions with me and by taking assertive action towards their goals in the real world. When they stop living to just please their tyrannical mother and silence the inner critic they internalized as a result of their unhealthy emotional attachment to her, they can finally start living their own lives on their own terms.

In one session recently a client summarized his progress by saying:

“I've feel like I've finally taken my mother off the brake pedal of my life”

I am so inspired by many of my client's rapid progress that I want to share with you some of the specific things that we've all found helpful for taking our mothers off the brake pedal of our lives:


By Graham Stoney, ago
Self Esteem

Do A Theatrical Improvisation Course to Build Confidence

Hey guys, it's Graham here again, and today I want to tell you why you should do a theatrical improvisation course. Now, you may have heard of theatrical improvisation or improve or theater sports or theater games, and they all refer to the underlying concept of improvising. Now, improvisation is an incredibly valuable skill to have, and so I want to tell you why it's so great to be able to improvise as far as self-confidence goes. Of course, the first reason why you should do theatrical improvisation is it's simply a lot of fun. You'll get out there, you're mixing with some really cool people, you're doing stuff that's just coming into your head spontaneously and it's a really great space to be in. (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

Always Have Something To Say When Talking To Women

Ever worry that you're going to run out of things to say when talking to a woman? It seems like the more attractive the women, the more fearful I get of that awkward silence when I don't know what to say. One solution is to learn a bunch of canned routines and prefabricated stories that we can punch out to avoid the awkwardness; but using other guy's stuff grates on me and somehow I never get around to polishing my own stories for use in social situations. I'd rather be spontaneous and live in-the-moment, responding to the flow of conversation rather than trying to control and manipulate it all the time. If only there were a way to learn how to do that...

Well it turns out there is!

Over the last few months I've fallen in love with Theatrical Improvisation, also known as Improv. This is the technique that comedians and actors use to be spontaneous on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway, and the results are often hilarious. Lately I've been doing every Improv class and workshop I can get to. The rules of Improv really appeal to me because they're all about freeing yourself from your own constraints and letting your natural creativity flow spontaneously.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How Theatrical Improvisation Increases Your Confidence

I've been taking a bunch of theatrical improvisation courses lately because it's a really fun, engaging way to increase self-confidence. There's a part of me that loves being on stage, without the old inhibitions that used to get in the way of everyday life. The skills involved in theatrical improvisation, also known as Comedy Improvisation or Improv, turn out to be essential life skills, especially when it comes to interacting confidently with other people.

Much of what I've learned in Improv class reverses a lot of what I learned about how to act while growing up. Many of us have huge chunks of our creativity, and our true personality, beaten out of us in the education and socialization process while we were young. We got punished for failure, bullied for being different, and ridiculed when we got things wrong. So we learned to play it small, avoid risks, and generally keep our head down to avoid getting kicked. It was a conservative survival strategy that worked at the time, but doesn't work so well in the adult world.

Theatrical improvisation, on the other hand, teaches us how to:

  • Fail brilliantly.
  • Say "Yes" to opportunities.
  • Take risks.
  • Listen to other people.
Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago