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Category Archives: Women
This is a bit of a crazy idea when you might hear it at first, but it's totally one that works: It's about taking a female friend shopping with you.
Often when we're going out with a girl and we want to go out on a date, we end up setting up this real big hyped-up kind of pressured situation in some fancy restaurant with a girl that we barely know who doesn't know whether she's going to like us or not or whether we're going to click. It's just awkward and uncomfortable for everybody, and I recommend that you stop doing that.
Instead, start getting comfortable hanging out with women in comfortable environments where everyone is used to hanging out. And the number 1 environment that everyone is used to hanging out is the supermarket.
Hey, it's Graham here from The Confident Man Project, and you can probably hear that there's some kookaburras going off down in the distance in the bush land here. I'm out in the beautiful bush land just out the back of my place. And kookaburras are a native bird of Australia. It's a bit unusual; it's got this funky kind of laughing sort of sound that it makes, and, yeah, it just reminds me what a beautiful country I live in. I'm a pretty lucky guy.
So I want to spread some of that luck out to you by talking about the challenge of learning to be confident talking to women on the phone. And how do you go about doing this? Because I know a lot of you guys like me are just terrified of actually picking up the phone and calling the woman after we've got her phone number, so how do you get confident doing that and get in the mode where it's actually a fun thing to do rather than something that just fills you with fear and dread?
Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project with another confidence building idea for you this week, and today I’m going to talk to you about learning to recognize tests that women throw at us guys. To get a perspective on this, you need to understand that women, particularly attractive women, are besieged by attention from guys all the time and they need to have some little way of working out which guys they want to be hanging around with. So they can’t help but start throwing out little tests to guys to find out what it is that we’re made of.
Women aren’t always conscious that they’re doing this. It just becomes a habitual part of their pattern of relating to people who come up and approache them, and a lot of guys find this extremely disarming and that’s kind of the point of why women sometimes do this.
A lot of guys I know who struggle with their self-confidence had a controlling or domineering mother. This can be a problem that affects our adult relationships with women even if we only have minimal contact with our mothers now. Your mother's influence over you as a child can continue well into adulthood and even past her death.
If your mother was particularly critical and/or controlling (like mine was), she would have seen your growing independence as a threat to be crushed at all costs. A mother like that is a force to be reckoned with that totally overwhelms a child's sense of self. The only option we have as a child is to learn to submit to this woman's power in order to survive.
But giving up your power like that comes at a massive cost later in life unless you claim it back now that you're a man.
Healthy mothers go through a grieving process when a boy grows into a man and separates from her emotionally and physically. You become released from the emotional ties to her moods, values, beliefs and opinions as you become your own man.… Continue reading…
I have a question for you that could change your life:
- Do you feel frustrated with women?
Or to go deeper:
- Do you wonder why the girls you like don't seem to like you?
- Do you feel hopeless when it comes to finding “the one” for you?
- Do you find yourself feeling angry with women and not knowing why?
- Do you get upset when you encounter rejection after rejection from women?
- Have you given up when it comes to women, dating, sex and relationships?
Ok, that's enough... I know these can be painful questions. So I want to let you in on a secret that enlightened men have known for centuries which will help you dissolve your frustration with women:
I know this can be a painful question, especially when you're going through a woman-drought, but we need to ask ourselves tough questions sometimes if we want to be successful:
How do you feel around women?
- Do you feel like a failure?
- Not good enough?
Perhaps you've become jaded and given up.
Well I'm here to tell you that there's hope; even for a guy like you.
Because I used to be you: feeling like a failure with women. And then I discovered the secret ingredient a man needs in order to be successful with women.
When Sean Connery was asked what it was that made him so successful around women, he said:
I have some tough questions for you, but I think you're up to the task.
So let's be straight with each other: How's your relationship going?
How's it really going?
Are you in a relationship with the girl of your dreams? Married? Engaged? Dating?
Are you still single after all these years?
Or worse, have you settled for a relationship with a woman who deep down, you know really isn't the girl of your dreams simply because you're afraid of missing out with women?
This is so painful for many guys to face that they settle for what they think they can get in a woman, instead of going after what they really want. And the problem with settling is that deep down, you'll know that you deserved better. Eventually she'll sense it too. Either you'll live out the rest of your life in denial and unhappiness, or you'll end up breaking up.
It never goes well in the end.
All because you were afraid of missing out on what you really wanted.
But there's a valuable message in that fear for you: It's telling you that you're missing a key ingredient that every man needs in order to be successful with the women of his dreams.… Continue reading…
I've read a lot of books on talking to women, and most of them never even mention the core problem a lot of men I know face when it comes to talking to beautiful women.
This problem may arise as approach anxiety, not knowing what to say, feeling like you're never good enough, putting women an a pedestal, trying to get beautiful women to like you, or just plain being overwhelmed with fear around hot women.
And it all comes down to feeling powerless around them.
If you feel powerless around the women you're attracted to, it's probably due to something you learned early on in life and are still hanging onto because subconsciously you believe that your very survival is at stake.
The question to ask yourself if you suffer from this is:
I know a bunch of guys who are very successful in their careers, but still lack confidence with women. Coming from an engineering background originally, my experience has been that career success doesn't always translate automatically into feeling confident interacting with girls. In fact, some of what we learn as men about being successful vocationally can work against us when it comes to the fairer sex.
Women want a well-rounded guy who is successful in business but they also need to be able to connect and relate to us in order to get to know us more deeply. The biggest mistake I see successful career guys making with women is attempting to apply the same strategies that work for them in the business world to their relationships with women. After a few relationship failures, the once confident guy's self-confidence starts going down the tubes as he blames himself for not getting the relationship he wants; or even worse he becomes bitter and resentful of women for not liking and accepting him the way he is. The problem isn't him; the problem is the strategy he's using unconsciously to connect with women, and simply changing strategy can make all the difference.… Continue reading…