Rejection Isn't About You

Dealing with “rejection” is one of the hardest things for many of us to learn, especially when we lack deep inner confidence. It's taken a long time for me to get a handle on, but I'm definitely getting better at handling rejection these days.

At a recent Love, Intimacy and Sexuality workshop run by The Human Awareness Institute, I found myself dealing with rejection right from the word go. Our very first task was to choose a buddy for the weekend, and I immediately found myself drawn to the most attractive woman in the room.

Problem was, so was another guy. And she chose him over me.


Before I knew it, that story was running in my head about other guys being better than me in some way: more attractive, sexier, more desirable. But the good thing was that the voice telling the story wasn't as loud as it used to be, and the unpleasant feeling it created in me wasn't as overwhelming. I'd been “rejected” in favor of another guy, but I was doing OK.

The very next exercise involved picking a partner, and again the same woman sprang straight to mind. I knew if I didn't act immediately, that voice in my head would start making up a big dramatic story about how she'd already rejected me once and so she obviously didn't like me.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago