emotional intelligence

Ten Positive Things To Do During COVID19 Lockdown

It looks like we’ve all got about 6 months to fill in social isolation. How you are going to spend the time? Are you going to use it productively, or waste it bingeing on NetFlix until you can’t see any more?

It’s times like these when thinking creatively is particularly important. And since I’m here to do your thinking for you, here are ten positive things to do during the COVID19 lockdown that will leave you better off in the future when we can all go out again: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

Ten Step Towards Loving Yourself

Today is Valentine’s day: the day on which people traditionally express and celebrate their love for each other. But what about loving ourselves? Many people have had the idea of self-love beaten out of them through early life experiences, so here are Ten Steps Towards Loving Yourself: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re the only one on the planet with feelings? Does it sometimes seem as though your life is at the mercy of your moods? Does everyone around you seem to be cruising along just fine with their emotional barrier up, making it difficult for you to connect with them, and leaving you feeling like there’s something wrong with you? Do you feel out of place because you’re a man, and men aren’t supposed to have feelings; or do you feel that because you’re a woman with feelings, you’re playing second fiddle to the cold, hard men that rule the planet?

Emotional Intelligence is a vital skill we often don’t learn at school

I can relate to these feelings sometimes, and with this in mind I recently tackled Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence. It seemed to me that the message I’d received from my family, my all-boys high school and my society at large while growing up was that emotions were a sign of weakness to be eliminated at all costs. I wasn’t supposed to have feelings when I was a boy; and yet I still have them even now as a man. I’ve often felt deep down that there was something wrong with me as a result. Men were supposed to be emotionally invulnerable, but I’m not. I’d like to be. Other people seem to be; or are they just faking it? I often get hijacked by my own feelings preventing me from doing what I really want. Surely by now I was supposed to be past all that; I’m not a kid any more, after all. Perhaps a little EQ would bring an answer to the quandary.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

What’s So Good About Feeling Bad?

In the last few days I’ve had a couple of people close to me tell me that they didn’t want to talk about painful experiences that they have had. They said things like “I don’t want to dwell on it” or “I really want a cigarette”, rather than talking about something that made them feel bad.

We’re not always in an appropriate social context to heal emotional pain and it’s wise to be discerning about when and with whom we choose to share vulnerable feelings. Nobody really wants to feel bad; we all naturally want to feel happy and generally speaking we tend to get more of whatever we focus on in life.

However we live in a society which tends to glorify intellect over feelings. Many of us have been taught to suppress emotions while growing up; especially those that our family and friends were uncomfortable with. Few people really understand what emotional trauma is, how it operates or how to heal it.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Overcoming Anxiety, Stress & Burnout with Emotional Intelligence

One of my most helpful mentors when it comes to learning to manage anxiety is a guy named Nicholas de Castella. I did his brilliant breakthrough workshop Passionately Alive, and I always remember a private session with Nicholas where towards the end he said to me:

“The reason you’re anxious is because you don’t know who you are”

Nicholas is an extremely compassionate and genuine guy who gave up his previous career as an architect to teach emotional intelligence to other people for a living. Since then he has helped thousands of people go from feeling stuck, blocked and frustrated to creating a wonderful life, relationship, and career of their dreams.

If you happen to be feeling anxious, burnt out or overwhelmed and would like to ignite some energy and move forward in your life, then Nicholas has an exciting opportunity for you.

Nicholas is holding a complimentary emotional intelligence webinar called:

IGNITE: Energy for Life! (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Tackle The Root Cause Of Domestic Violence

The problem of domestic violence has been in the news again, as it seems to be every few months or so. As usual the out-of-control perpetrator is male, the victim female, innocent children are involved and the consequences are devastating for everyone. It’s a story we hear far too often.

While it is true that not all violence is committed by men, the majority of violent behaviour involves men. Violence is not the only form of domestic abuse happening behind closed doors in our society: emotional, sexual and spiritual abuse can be equally damaging. The simplistic innocent-female-victim/evil-male-perpetrator model is not always the full truth. However, the stereotype does tends to cover the majority of domestic violence cases.

Despite the excellent work done on by various organisations working to prevent domestic violence, the problem of men’s violence towards women and children continues to hang around like an offensive odour. How can this be, when it’s in the news so often? (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

Are You Addicted To Your Own Drama?

I’m sitting in a Youth Hostel in Melbourne, Australia where I’m staying for a couple of weeks while visiting the Melbourne International Comedy festival. I’ve just had breakfast and am sitting near the kitchen area chilling out before heading out for a day on the town. While I’m not one to eavesdrop, I can’t help but overhear snippets of the Skype conversation of the woman sitting next to me.

Are You Addicted To Your Own Drama?

Are You Addicted To Your Own Drama?

And what I hear is: drama. Drama, drama, drama. “She did this”, “he did that”, “she said this”, “she said that”, “She thinks I’m a bad influence”, “they don’t like me”, “she hated it”, “it sucked”, “it was awful”…

Ok, you get the idea.

If there was heaps of space, I’d simply move and get away from the negative energy; but it’s pretty crowded this morning, and the conversation reminded me how easy it is to get addicted to our own drama, and the dramas in other people’s lives around us.

Now it would be a different story if the woman was debriefing about her emotions regarding the drama she’s describing, but I’m not hearing many words from our emotional vocabulary like “sad”, “angry”, “scared”, “happy”; nor phrases like “I felt …”, “I feel…” etc.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Unlocking Repressed Anger: What To Do If You “Never Get Angry”

Hey, it’s Graham here, and I’m feeling cranky today so let’s talk about anger. Now, there are two mistakes you can make with anger. The first one is to suppress it, pretending you don’t feel angry and just push that emotion down. And the second one is to just spew your anger out so that you express it destructively. Now, today I want to talk about the first one of those, which is suppressing your anger, and why we do that and why it’s not a good idea and what you can do about it.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Are you feeling stuck, frustrated or blocked?

If you have been feeling stuck, blocked, and frustrated, my good friend, Nicholas de Castella, has an exciting opportunity I would like to invite you to share in…

Breakthrough To Freedom

Breakthrough To Freedom using Emotional Intelligence

For over 20 years, Nicholas has taught people just like you how to raise their Emotional Intelligence.  As you may know, raising your Emotional Intelligence is vital to unlocking the key to your happiness, fulfillment and success.

Nicholas will be hosting a FREE BREAKTHROUGH SESSION in which he will guide you through a Breakthrough session and outline the 5 proven steps to living authentically, having boundless energy, feeling unshakeable passion, and creating the kind of life that gets you excited to wake up and jump out of bed in the morning.

As you complete each step, you will take your health, relationships, wealth and satisfaction to a whole new level.

So let’ jump in, shall we?

Step 1: Raise Self Awareness:

  • Create a vision for who you want to be and the life you want to live
  • Develop Emotional Literacy: enhance your ability to respond most effectively

Step 2: Peak Functioning  (Attitude / Mindset)

  • Equanimity: How to cultivate an open spacious, non-judgemental, reactive mind
  • Inner harmony and balance:  Learn to stop relentless thinking and calm a busy mind
  • Cultivate Optimism:  Motivate yourself for enjoyment, ease and achievement

Step 3: Grit (Emotional Mastery)

  • Courage: The ability to step into the unknown, uncertainty and unfamiliar
  • Determination & Endurance:  The ability to delay gratification and stay focused
  • Clear blockages and release resistance
  • Persistence: how to keep on going when things are moving slowly
  • Resilience: ability to bounce back after setbacks and not take things personally

Step 4: Inducing Flow (Heart Intelligence)

  • Effortless flow: the ability to achieve with more joy and ease
  • Self determination: The freedom that comes from feeling whole and complete in yourself
  • Inducing Grace: gratitude, kindness, generosity
  • Intuition: making better decisions, divine timing

Step 5: Setting up practices and systems

  • Establishing healthy habits
  • Establishing daily rituals
  • Building a team: connecting, enrolling and inspiring others
  • Engaging teachers and mentors

If you’re ready to gain crystal clear clarity on what you really want and finally build the powerful momentum you need to succeed, then you absolutely do not want to miss Nicholas’ next FREE BREAKTHROUGH TO FREEDOM session on Wednesday, October 8th at 8PM AEDT (Australian Eastern Daylight Time). … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Resolving The Money Riddle by Paul Blackburn

Resolving The Money Riddle

Resolving The Money Riddle

Do you have money problems? If so, I recommend you check out Paul Blackburn’s book Resolving The Money Riddle which will teach you how to identify and resolve your subconscious blockages to wealth and help you create a positive mindset around money.

Paul originally wanted to call this book How I went from Sweet FA to $10 Million a year in 18 Months, but his wife and business partner Mary felt this was an inappropriate business title and they settled on Resolving The Money Riddle instead. Nevertheless, he still managed to slip his preferred title onto the front cover as the tag line.

The theme of the book is that the most important factor in your financial success, or that of your business, is the grey matter between your ears. As in other areas of life, our mindset is everything. For Paul, running a business isn’t about the money; it’s a personal development opportunity that will push your boundaries at every turn. In other words, it’s about how you develop as a human being.

Resolving The Money Riddle teaches you that to be successful with money in your business and personal life you need to: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago