I hardly need to spell out the advantages being popular: more friends, a wider social circle, greater confidence, more people to play and have fun with, and more women to choose from when dating. Being popular can either be superficial like Glinda in the musical Wicked, or a deeper trait based on being an all-round great guy. I'd suggest going for the deeper version every time.

With that in mind, here are tips on how to be popular:

Make Other People Feel Good

Popular people love making other people feel good because it's more fun having fun with other people than doing it by yourself. Learn how to make other people feel good by being around you, and they'll want to be around you more and more. Pretty simple, really.

Learn How To Make Other People Laugh

Making other people laugh is a great way to make them feel good. Develop your sense of humor and learn to express the quirky, amusing thoughts that go through your head. Learn to tell stories that amuse other people, show off your strengths, and make them laugh. If you don't consider yourself funny, read books on stand-up comedy and learn the secrets that comedians know about how to make other people laugh. Study up on how to be funny. You'll be the life of the party once you've got this handled.

Develop Your Social Skills

Work on developing your social skills. In particular, learn how to listen to what other people say and make them feel understood. We all have a deep desire to be understood, and when others recognize that you have this gift they'll naturally gravitate towards you. Also learn how to be the social lubricant that brings people together and enables them to have fun. Network with other people and help facilitate them getting to know each other. Introduce friends with common interests, mutual goals or similar business ventures. Become the go-to guy that other people want to keep in touch with.

Avoid Gossip Or Putting Other People Down

One of the biggest differences between superficial popularity and deep popularity is that people who are truly popular don't gossip or put other people down behind their backs. They understand that doing so is completely counter-productive; if you bitch about other people, the people you bitch to will just end up bitching about you.

Protect your reputation by being straight with people to their face, and never say something behind someone's back that you wouldn't say in front of them. If other people start gossiping about others around you, just say “Sorry, but I don't do gossip” and leave it at that. Other people will come to rely on you as someone who is consistent, dependable and trustworthy; and people like being around others who are like that.

Have An Interesting Life

Broaden your outlook on life, and widen your field of interests. With a wide range of interests, you'll be able to talk to just about anyone about just about anything. This makes you very interesting and attractive, especially to women. Many women find that most men are fairly one-dimensional and when you start developing your hobbies, skills and interests you really stand out from the pack.

Take up art, music or dancing. Any of these activities will instantly introduce you to a range of interesting people. Step outside your comfort zone and start hanging with people from different professions to your own; you'll become more confident, interesting and popular. See Section 4: Life Skills in Confident Man for how to do this.

Communicate On An Emotional Level

If you want to be popular with women, you need to learn to communicate on an emotional level. Too many guys make the mistake of trying to connect with women intellectually, and this stifles our ability to relate really deeply. If you want to have women ringing you to catch up, go out or hook up, then you need to be able to relate to them emotionally.

This doesn't mean being a snaggy sensitive new-age guy or a Nice Guy; it just means that you have the ability to affect a woman emotionally and make her feel something when she's around you. Women are drawn to men who make them feel because it brings her femininity alive and that feels fantastic to her. Once you've made it into her emotions, it's a short step before you're the guy in her fantasies as well.

Build Your Self-Confidence

A true inner sense of self-confidence is attractive to other people. It's the ultimate ingredient you need for being popular. Ironically, once you've got it, you won't care so much about being popular any more since you'll no longer be seeking other people's approval and attention all the time. By this point you'll have more attention than you need anyway. Fame is fickle and popularity comes and goes. Most likely what you really want is happiness, and that comes from within. So rather than seeking external popularity, look within and build true inner confidence instead. The best way to do that is with The Confident Man Program: click here to get it now.

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.

1 Comment

Matt · April 5, 2012 at 8:30 pm

How to be funny and how to tell a good story. If you can get a women or, better yet, a group of women engrossed in a story that you're telling that you will find that you're leagues above the other male 'competition' in the room!

Women list 'sense of humour' regularly with 'confidence' as the top attraction triggers. Get out there and study a little of the ins and outs of telling a funny story. It'll be one of the greatest skills you ever teach yourself!


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