Here is yet another confidence building tip for you: Today you’re going to learn about taking your mother out to lunch. Now, my relationship with my mother has been a source of some pain and anguish for me, and this is a way of getting past some of that stuff by actually trying to re-establish an adult-adult relationship with your mother, whereas when you were a kid you would’ve had a child-adult relationship with your mother and that may not have gone all that well for you if your mother was anything like mine.

So what you want to do now is start putting some of that childhood stuff behind you and begin to see your mother as just a regular adult person who you can have a normal adult relationship with.

The way to do this is to give your mother a call and say, “Hey mom, do you want to go out to lunch?” Take her out to lunch somewhere, find a restaurant that she likes or a club that she enjoys going to. Chances are that your mom goes out to lunch with her female friends, and there’s usually a venue they’ll probably go to. So if you can listen in when you’re talking to you mom and find out places that she likes to go, then all you’ve got to do is give her a call and say, “Hey, would you like to go out to the club next Thursday for lunch? We could just spend a bit of time and have a nice chat.”

Go out, take your mom out to lunch. Now, on the way there I recommend that you want to get your mom in a good mood so buy her some flowers, buy her some chocolates, that kind of stuff is always good. Bring those along, give them to your mom as you turn up at the door, take her out to lunch and just spend a bit of time trying to relate to mother as another adult and see past whatever issues you may have with her, whatever unresolved frustrations you may still be carrying from when you were a kid.

Because all of those things that we have with our mother that are unresolved, we tend to end up just projecting them onto all the other women in our life and that can mean that we don’t end up with the sort of relationships with women that we want to have.

So taking your mom out to lunch isn’t just good for your mom; it’s also good for the way that you relate to other women. Because the more of the stuff that you’ve got and issues with your mom that you can clear away, the better you’re going to be at relating to women in general and even just other people because you’ll be more relaxed out in the world.

So this week, get on the phone, give your mom a call, invite her out to lunch to spend a bit of quality time. Don’t get into an argument with her. Just listen to what she has to say. Start treating her like just another regular human being instead of this mother figure, whatever that has meant for you in the past.

Get onto it and notice how much more confident you feel after doing this kind of stuff.

Build your self-confidence faster with The Confident Man Program


Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.

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