Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project, and today I want to recommend this book to you. It’s called The Way of the Superior Man. That’s a pretty cool title. I mean, who doesn’t want to be the superior man, right? Well, let me tell you a couple of things that I really like about this book. But first I’ll read to you a little bit from the introduction:

The newly evolving man is not a scared bully, posturing like some King Kong in charge of the universe. Nor is he a new age wimp, all spineless, smiley and starry-eyed. He has embraced both his inner masculine and feminine, and he no longer holds onto either of them.

He doesn’t need to be right all the time, nor does he need to always be safe, co-operating and sharing like androgynous Mr. Nice Guy. He simply lives from his deepest core, fearlessly giving his gifts, feeling through the fleeting moment into the openness of existence, totally committed to magnifying love.

Well, that sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it? A little bit airy-fairy perhaps, but let me tell you a couple of things that I got out of this book that I really like. So the first one is the concept of masculine and feminine energy. Now, the idea behind this is that all of us have a mixture of masculine and feminine energies that are running our life.

So masculine energy is all about drive and purpose and moving forward, taking action and doing stuff that’s aligned with our core purpose and really is making an impact out there in the big wide world. So whenever you know what you’re doing, you feel like you’re motivated, you’re on purpose, you’ve got some hobby or career or something that you’re really pursuing and that you’re just going for simply because the mere act of doing it fulfils you, then you’re in touch with your masculine energy.

The flip side of that is feminine energy. Feminine energy is all about love and nurture and playfulness and relaxing, having fun and just enjoying kicking back and enjoying life purely for the sake of being alive. So whenever you feel like you’re having fun, you’re relaxed, you’re loving, you’re really connected maybe with a woman or whatever, then you’re in touch with this kind of inner feminine energy which is what helps us to connect in relationships.

Now, we all have a mixture of these two things. Men tend to be more dominant in masculine energy and women tend to be more dominant in feminine energy. But this isn’t always the case and sometimes circumstances cause us to be more in touch with our feminine energy as a man or more in touch with our masculine energy as a woman.

Now, there’s not necessarily anything wrong with this, but what tends to happen with nice guys, which is what I used to be and still recovering from, is that we lose touch with our masculine energy. We lose our sense of purpose, our sense of drive, our sense of who we are and what we’re about in the world. And the problem with this is that these two energies are attracted to each other because they’re poles. They’re like polar opposites. So women are by default attracted to men that are very much in their masculine energy and they’re less attracted to guys that are more in their feminine energy most of the time.

Now, again, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just that it’s not as an attractive trait. So this is the irony that when a man is totally committed to his goals and his purpose and doing his thing, women tend to find that very attractive and will come and want to get your attention all the time. And the more that you stay committed and focused to what’s really important to you, the more attractive as a man you become. Even though women will say that they want your attention, they want you to be loving, they want you to be nurturing and all those things, that’s true, but if that’s all you ever do and you’re not on your purpose in life, then women are just not going to be as attracted to you. They’re actually going to start getting a bit bored. It sounds a bit weird at first, but it totally makes sense.

Once we begin to see these energies at work in the lives of people around you, you’ll start to be able to spot the guys that are really in touch with their masculine drive and you’ll see the women that are totally into them. I have a lot of female friends now who are splitting up with guys who are just wussy. They don’t know what they’re doing in life. They’re not committed. They don’t stand up for themselves. And it’s forced these women to have to take on the masculine role in the relationship. The woman has to wear the pants. Maybe she’s got to discipline the kids and tell them what to do.

She’s got to be organizing stuff all the time, and although she could do that it’s tiring, it’s not really what she wants because women by default want to be in their feminine energy. And what happens is that when the masculine energy shows up in a woman’s life because you turn up a masculine guy, the woman gets to relax. She gets to have fun and be more playful. She’ll be more sexual. The whole thing just sparks up to another level and it’s just better for everybody.

So that’s principle number 1 for the book. Now, principle number 2 – now, I’m having a mental blank on principle number 2 so you’ll have to read it for yourself and you’ll find out. I highly recommend the book, The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. The subtitle is A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work and Sexual Desire. It’s just all around a great book. It’ll give you a completely different perspective on the way women and men interoperate. And for the life of me I can’t remember what the second point was. So give it a read and let me know what you think. Leave a comment. Catch you later.

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.