How To Deal With Man-Hatred In The Media

It seems like every day I’m coming across articles and interviews in the media on so-called “toxic masculinity” written and organised by man-hating post-feminists with an obvious personal agenda of beating up on men. They piggy-back on otherwise positive themes like equality, the #metoo movement, tackling domestic violence or eliminating sexual assault; but then hijack the agenda with an underlying theme that men are crap and the future is female.

Plenty of other social commentators have dissected the inherent hypocrisy of man-haters relying on societal infrastructure predominantly provided and maintained by men that keeps them housed, clothed and fed with clean water, electricity, telecommunications and other services so reliable that they fail to notice they’re even there; while at the same time complaining at every opportunity about the behavior of a tiny minority of men as if it were the universal norm.

So instead of delving any further into what’s wrong with man-haters, I’m going to focus on how to deal with the problem:

Recognize Prejudice For What It Is

In any other context, someone hating on a person or group of people because of their gender would be seen as sexist bigotry. Hating on white men in particular has become pretty trendy in the media lately and obviously this is also racist.

Prejudice of any form is an infantile protective behavior engaged in by childish adults who haven’t grown up yet. People hate on other people because they feel threatened.

Free speech is a cornerstone of western democracy, but not all speech is of equal value. While painful criticism can sometimes have a valuable lesson for us, however poorly it might be expressed, sometimes prejudice is just prejudice. Learn to recognize it so that you can seek out more useful forms of communication that teaches you something valuable rather than just drawing you in by exciting your nervous system’s defenses.

Don’t Engage With It

I put off writing about this for a long time because I’ve been too busy actually helping people of both genders, to expend energy on women who hate men. It’s not our responsibility as men to pander to other people’s whims. Our job is to establish a set of personal values that we believe in and do our best to live by them. Invariably this will involve standing up to bullies when they are in our face, but because bullies thrive on drama and conflict it’s also important to know when to walk away.

If you are in a situation where you are forced to engage with someone who is prejudiced against you, the best option is often to acknowledge the fear and pain underlying their hostility without buying into the conflict they seek. Once the person has their feelings acknowledged they are more likely to back off, especially when it’s clear that you can stand up for yourself in the face of their aggression.

Don’t Take It Personally

Prejudice against a group of people is never about us personally; it’s about someone else projecting their collective fears and unhealed traumas onto us. Like the men they despise, the women who write articles in the media hating on men are in the minority.

Always remember that most women actually love men, value our contribution, appreciate our difference to them and naturally want to connect with us.

Recognize Media Bias

Traditional forms of media have always relied on fear and drama to sell newspapers, television and radio advertisements. Our nervous systems have two branches: the sympathetic responds to danger and fear while the parasympathetic responds to safety and love. The sympathetic branch responds more quickly because rapidly recognizing danger kept our ancestors alive.

Traditional media has always capitalized on this rapidly excitable fear to sell us advertiser’s products.

One of the consequences of man-hatred in the media is to induce fear among both men and women, thus keeping us all trapped in anxiety and looking for an outlet; which the advertisers hope we will find via some kind of retail therapy.

The rise of social media has made things worse rather than better. One advantage of traditional media was that you needed a certain degree of education, training and intelligence to become a journalist and have a platform for your views. Nowadays anyone can post their opinions on social media and spread fear, uncertainty and doubt with abandon.

Meanwhile the erosion of traditional media advertising revenue by online services has led to a lowering of journalistic standards leading to a greater tendency to pass off opinion puff-pieces filled with prejudice as “news”.

Large media organisations have always had their biases but for the most part it was pretty obvious to all but the most naive consumer. Nowadays the worst of human behavior tends to rise to the top because people with unfulfilling lives find an easy escape from their angst in the drama. Don’t buy into it.

See It As A Test

Every challenge in life can be seen as a test that we either pass or fail. When we pass, life gets better. When we fail, we learn something valuable for next time. Actually it’s not that simplistic because life isn’t black and white, but you get the idea.

Women routinely and unconsciously test men to ascertain whether we are trustworthy or not. It’s a survival instinct that many women are not even aware of. If we collapse in the face of criticism from man-hating feminists we are likely to lose respect from all women, including the ones who would otherwise enjoy relating to us.

We learn to pass the test by standing true to our values even in the face of unfair and unwarranted criticism. When someone else is shoving their prejudices in our face it makes sense to respond according to our values rather than theirs.

Focus On Your Happiness and Well-being

You are responsible for your happiness and well-being. Nobody else can do this for you. Only you can work on overcoming your fears and living the life of your dreams.

Because we are all interdependent, we also have a shared responsibility for the well-being of those around us. Don’t confuse this with the need to please other people all the time or to appease people who will hate on you just for being male.