I've been at a humorous speaking workshop today, learning what I need to know to get into the comedy/speaking/seminar game. At one point I wandered up to the two cutest girls in the room to say hello. It's a very friendly environment because almost everyone there was from Toastmasters, an organisation that people join to develop their social skills and self-confidence.

So I wander up to say "hello", and one of the girls in the pair says: "So, you're the guy that's robotic, yeah?". It was a reference to a question I asked earlier in the workshop about how to be authentic expressing emotion when you're not a naturally emotionally expressive person. I explained to the girls that I'd had some feedback about this from my acting class, and that other people had compared me to Elliot Goblet, an Aussie comic with a very deadpan delivery. Something I didn't consider a compliment at the time!

Then during our chat she had another go at me! Right... game on! I started teasing her mercilessly: "Just because you get to district level in the International Speech contest is no excuse to treat your fellow Toastmasters like dirt, you know! I'm not talking to you any more.". By this stage she was doubled over with laughter, as I continued talking to her friend giving her an overly-dramatic cold-shoulder.

Her friend asked me a question about something. My reply: "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I'm still too upset about what your friend here just said to me. What was that again?"

Then I started playfully excluding teasing-girl from the rest of the conversation, while still throwing teasing side-comments her way. She was in hysterics. And a lot of fun. I love this whole flirting thing!

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.