Communication

Teasing the Girl at the Humorous Speaking Workshop

I've been at a humorous speaking workshop today, learning what I need to know to get into the comedy/speaking/seminar game. At one point I wandered up to the two cutest girls in the room to say hello. It's a very friendly environment because almost everyone there was from Toastmasters, an organisation that people join to develop their social skills and self-confidence.

So I wander up to say "hello", and one of the girls in the pair says: "So, you're the guy that's robotic, yeah?". It was a reference to a question I asked earlier in the workshop about how to be authentic expressing emotion when you're not a naturally emotionally expressive person. I explained to the girls that I'd had some feedback about this from my acting class, and that other people had compared me to Elliot Goblet, an Aussie comic with a very deadpan delivery. Something I didn't consider a compliment at the time!

Then during our chat she had another go at me! Right... game on! I started teasing her mercilessly: "Just because you get to district level in the International Speech contest is no excuse to treat your fellow Toastmasters like dirt, you know!… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago
Communication

Chatting Up A Hot German Girl At The Train Station

I can still remember the day a really pretty girl from my Venturer group stopped to talk to me at the bus stop on the way home from high school. One of the kids at school the next day asked me "Who was that girl you were chatting up?", and when I answered "That was Kate, from Venturers", his mate remarked "Actually, it looked more like she was chatting you up!". Well yes... Kate had a boyfriend at the time, and I was rather inept when it came to talking to women.

Not any more though! Today I headed out to catch up over lunch with Janice, a gorgeous intuitive girl from my acting class. While waiting for Janice, I found myself casually gazing down the street, straight past a very pretty blonde girl. She thought I was making eye contact with her, and wandered over to talk to me! I think the fact that I wasn't actually trying to make eye contact with her, combined with the fact that I was waiting for another woman, made me particularly relaxed and approachable.

Her name turned out to be Gloria. "As in Gloria Jean's", she said.

"Well that's amazing Gloria, because we're both wearing jeans.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago
Communication

How to Flirt with a Woman

If you're like me, you weren't born a "natural" when it comes to flirting with women, and it's a skill you need to develop. For the longest time, my aim in conversations was to try and get women to like me. And guess what? It doesn't work. The more we try to get people to like us, the less likely they are to end up doing so. Especially when we're relating to women. Somehow no matter how much I tried, I was always a hopeless flirt, and could never seem to get the women I was interested in, interested in me.

And then I discovered the secret to flirting. I can't believe I didn't notice it before. Once I realised what it was, I noticed that all the "naturals" I knew who got on so well with the women I was interested in were doing it with these women; I just hadn't realised. It's so simple, I can sum it up in one word: teasing.

This revelation was like an epiphany for me when it came to relating to women.

If you want to learn to flirt, you need to learn to tease. The more attractive the woman, the more likely you are to need to tease her.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago