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Become a Confident Man
- How to Recover From a Controlling Mother 2,221 views
- How to Recover from a Critical Parent 1,640 views
- Do You Have Mother Issues? 751 views
- The Disastrous Duo: Controlling Mother, Passive Father 621 views
- How to Recover from a Violent or Abusive Childhood 339 views
- The Day I Finally Stood Up To My Critical Mother 335 views
- How To Be Cool 243 views
- How To Handle A Boyfriend Or Husband With A Controlling Mother: Part 2
- How To Handle A Boyfriend Or Husband With A Controlling Mother: Part 1
- The Day I Finally Stood Up To My Critical Mother
- 10 Signs Your Family Is Crazy-Making
- How To Stand Up To An Adult Bully
- How To Silence Your Inner Critic
- How To Be Confident Talking To Women On The Phone
Recent Forum Topics
The solution to this whole issue is for the man to man up and start stand up to his mother and saying what's important to him whenever there's some kind of conflict so that he can learn to side with you in the relationship rather than with his controlling mother.
There's really nothing that you can do as a partner in terms of what his mother does, and the solution to the problem is not for the mother to change her behavior. You can't expect other people to change, and we have really no control over other people's behavior.
Most of my advice is aimed at men, but today I have a video for you ladies out there on the topic of how to deal with a man who has a controlling mother. I've written a previous article on how to deal with a controlling mother, and I'm getting an increasing number of comments left by women in response to this article which was originally aimed at men. And the women are talking about their frustrations in having dealt with partners who had controlling mothers.
So what I'd like to cover here today is what you should if your boyfriend, husband or partner has a controlling mother and this is having some kind of impact - and it's generally a negative impact - on your relationship with the guy.
My mother and father are still together after 50 years of marriage. They are good, church going people who are very community minded. They show love by acts of service and are often kind and generous to other people. But the way my critical mother treats my largely passive father is toxic, and I recently took the opportunity to stand up to their behaviour in order to reverse the negative effects it has had on my own life. Here's how it panned out:
Recently my parents and I all attended my maternal aunt's 90th birthday party, along with my maternal cousins, my two older sisters, and all their husbands/wives and families. We spent the weekend in a lovely guest house in the country and since it was a long drive for my aging parents, they asked me to give them a lift there and back. I am a little apprehensive because I know the way my parent's behaviour often triggers me, but I see it as an opportunity to connect with them and spend some additional quality time together.
The two-hour drive to the guest house is relatively uneventful, with occasional friendly chatter and lunch at my parents' favourite cafè on-route.… Continue reading…
One of my mentors once described families like the one I grew up in as crazy-making. I thought, “Wow, that’s a fantastic description.” Take a perfectly normal infant child, bring them up in a crazy-making family and you’ve pretty much got a recipe for insanity. But how do you know if you’re living in a crazy-making family? Well, I’m glad you asked. So here’s the top 10 signs that your family is crazy-making:
G’day, guys. Today you’re going to learn about how to quieten your inner critic. So your inner critic is that voice in your head that tells you that you’re stupid or that you’re wrong or that you’re not allowed to do things that you want to do or generally makes your life kind of miserable by putting the boot in and ripping into you at any opportunity.
If you’re anything like me, you have, or maybe had in the past, a very strong inner critic that is the result of a lot of criticism that you may have received when you were a kid or as an adolescent or even growing up and as an adult. Criticism even as an adult can still sting.
Hey, it's Graham here from The Confident Man Project, and you can probably hear that there's some kookaburras going off down in the distance in the bush land here. I'm out in the beautiful bush land just out the back of my place. And kookaburras are a native bird of Australia. It's a bit unusual; it's got this funky kind of laughing sort of sound that it makes, and, yeah, it just reminds me what a beautiful country I live in. I'm a pretty lucky guy.
So I want to spread some of that luck out to you by talking about the challenge of learning to be confident talking to women on the phone. And how do you go about doing this? Because I know a lot of you guys like me are just terrified of actually picking up the phone and calling the woman after we've got her phone number, so how do you get confident doing that and get in the mode where it's actually a fun thing to do rather than something that just fills you with fear and dread?
Hey guys, I just want to respond to Tony Porter's TEDWomen speech about the man box and his call to men. I think the only problem with this speech is that it's given at a conference mainly with women.T he actual substance of his talk really isn't just about violence against women: It's about freedom for men as you'll notice in the quote right at the very end.
I can totally relate to what Tony's saying. I had a father who was just emotionally not there. He was physically there so perhaps I was luckier than some guys, but when it came to anything related to emotions he completely kept them to himself. He was obviously very ashamed of how he felt and I think still is, and as a result the only emotions that I could see him express really were when he would seethe with frustration or when he would explode with anger.
And, yeah, that might be okay for the man box, but it's not okay for relationships with people generally. So, yeah, I can relate to Tony's message, and I recommend this video to any guys, not just to women:
Hey, it's Graham again from The Confident Man Project, and today you're going to learn about how to start an exercise routine and why that is important to your self-confidence. Well, exercise is an awesome thing. There really are very few downsides unless you do too hard and you injure yourself.
But exercise is good for your physical health, it's good for your mental health, it's a massive cure for depression and anxiety, it boosts your self-confidence, it helps you build muscle tone, it generally makes you more sociable. So there's really no downside. It takes a little bit of time, but if you don't have time for exercise then, well, your priorities are a little bit screwed and you really need to get that into gear and get it fixed.
Hey, it's Graham here with another confidence expanding tip for you. And today I want to talk about the suggestion of getting up on stage at an open mic night, performing your musical talents if you have any or your comedic talents if you have any or whatever talent it is that you have, doing it up on stage and getting outside your comfort zone which is of course the way that you build confidence the fastest.
Any big city will have comedy clubs and entertainment venues that have regular open mic nights, typically on Tuesdays or Wednesdays because those are the nights where it gets a little bit quiet and a lot of the professional acts prefer to perform on Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights. So Tuesdays and Wednesdays are often open mic nights where anybody who has a bit of talent that they want to develop can go along and tread the boards, get up on stage and have a go at entertaining people.
I recommend that you give it a go. Like, this will make your heart race like nothing else. If you're a bit of a funny guy and you've got some good wise-cracks, a few jokes that you want to run, I recommend that what you do is you work out some stories from your real life that have made you laugh that you think have been funny and that you put them together into a little five-minute comedy routine.… Continue reading…