sexual communication Archives • The Confident Man Project

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- Graham’s StoryI suffered from a chronic lack of self-confidence right from early childhood through most of my adult life. I am a sensitive person and was deeply traumatized by the never-ending conflict and hostility in my parent’s relationship. My mother was, and still is, the dominant force in my family of origin. Highly intelligent but emotionally withheld, she was always quick to criticise and would never back down in any of the petty arguments with my father that characterized their relationship. He, on the other hand, was relatively passive yet and was often driven to explode with frustration due to his inability to express his emotions or to handle my mother’s frequent put-downs. She would berate him saying “You stupid creature; why can’t you just tell me what you’re thinking!”, not realizing the irony behind her nagging criticism. Our home didn’t feel like a safe or fun place to be much of the time. My two elder sisters both dealt with this in their own way, leaving me feeling excluded and abandoned a lot of the time. My sensitivity in this situation was always invalidated, caused me a great deal of grief and felt like a genuine weakness. Ironically, my parents…
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Communication

How to Communicate Sexually With a Woman

I’ve been watching David DeAngelo’s Sexual Communication program recently, and here’s a summary of what I’ve learned:

There as a deeper level of communication between humans that most men are unaware of. It’s the same level that animals communicate on instinctively. It reminds me of what Eckhardt Tolle talks about in The Power Of Now about being totally present, and the Meisner acting technique of intuitive interactions and emotional connections uninhibited by our normal tendency to overanalyse and overthink. David D is onto something.

His four steps of sexual communication are:

#1: Sparking the Attraction

Attraction is unconscious. Women are naturally attracted to the Leader. Develop your masculine traits. Not needing approval. Confidence and lack of insecurity. Dominance and power are the ultimate aphrodisiac. Being unapologetic for who you are and what you want. Make decisions quickly. Not accepting second class behavior or treatment from others. Live in your own reality. Strong eye contact. Be territorial without whining or insecurity.

Women test men unconsciously. Start recognizing these tests and learn to pass the tests without taking them seriously. Forget “be yourself”: your normal persona is an accommodating, manipulative wuss and isn’t actually your real self anyway. When a woman tests you with criticism, smile and respond playfully with “I’m glad you like it”.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, 13 yearsDecember 4, 2010 ago