family Archives • The Confident Man Project

About
- About The Project
- Graham’s StoryI suffered from a chronic lack of self-confidence right from early childhood through most of my adult life. I am a sensitive person and was deeply traumatized by the never-ending conflict and hostility in my parent’s relationship. My mother was, and still is, the dominant force in my family of origin. Highly intelligent but emotionally withheld, she was always quick to criticise and would never back down in any of the petty arguments with my father that characterized their relationship. He, on the other hand, was relatively passive yet and was often driven to explode with frustration due to his inability to express his emotions or to handle my mother’s frequent put-downs. She would berate him saying “You stupid creature; why can’t you just tell me what you’re thinking!”, not realizing the irony behind her nagging criticism. Our home didn’t feel like a safe or fun place to be much of the time. My two elder sisters both dealt with this in their own way, leaving me feeling excluded and abandoned a lot of the time. My sensitivity in this situation was always invalidated, caused me a great deal of grief and felt like a genuine weakness. Ironically, my parents…
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- CopyrightAll the information on this site is Copyright © by Graham Stoney, and may not be reproduced in any format including reposting on other web sites, on-line forums, books, or e-books without the express permission of the author, [intlink id=”6″ type=”page”]Graham Stoney[/intlink]. Nor may it be used in derivative works or aggregated with other information for commercial purposes. You may, however, deep-link to any information on this site from other web sites, on-line forums or any other place where the information is relevant and appropriate. You may also print or e-mail content to other people for personal use, provided the content involved is no more than 10% of the total content of the site, credit is given to The Confident Man Project, and a link to ConfidentMan.net is retained on the printed copy, or in the e-mail. Any forum submissions become the property of Graham Stoney, and also may not be reproduced without my permission. Before using this site and any information that it contains, see the Terms and Conditions of use.
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- Personal Coaching via Skype
- Guest PostingI welcome contributions from experts with wisdom to offer about how to help men become more confident and effective in their lives. If you’re a psychologist, counsellor, life coach, dating coach or you’re just passionate about any topic which can help men, I’d love to hear from you. You can become a one-off guest blogger, or contribute a series of articles over time. Relevant topics include [intlink id=”57″ type=”category”]self-esteem[/intlink], [intlink id=”25″ type=”category”]communication skills[/intlink], [intlink id=”4″ type=”category”]emotional mastery[/intlink], [intlink id=”99″ type=”category”]masculinity[/intlink], [intlink id=”5″ type=”category”]women[/intlink], [intlink id=”10″ type=”category”]dating[/intlink], [intlink id=”11″ type=”category”]relationships[/intlink], sex and [intlink id=”6″ type=”category”]life skills[/intlink]. Basically anything that helps make a man more confident, competent and effective in the world. This is a great way to broaden your exposure if you have a product, service or business helping men. In return for contributing, you get the kudos of seeing your name in print and a valuable dofollow back link to your website in your Bio, which is good for your search engine ranking. If you have an affiliate program, I will join it and use my affiliate link in your Bio. Either way you get your name in lights as a subject matter expert, along with more traffic, business and/or…
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- Affiliate ProgramThe Confident Man Affiliate Program
- Joint VenturesDo You Have A Product For Men That I Can Help You Promote? I like to form mutually beneficial business relationships with other people, and I’m always looking for other great products to promote to my customers to help them become even more confident and successful in life. My customers have a proven buying track record in this niche and my visitors list have all come across the site while searching for dating and attraction products. Using my list is a highly targeted form of promotion. Your product must be original, and high quality. No point just repeating what’s in Double Your Dating. I only promote products which I have actually read and found useful myself, so be prepared to send me a copy. You must have an affiliate program that I can join in order for me to promote your product. The simplest way I’ve found to manage an affiliate program is to use ClickBank as your payment processor; they do all the work for you, and have a neat marketplace where you can advertise your product to get affiliates. I recommend you join ClickBank if you haven’t already done so. If you have a product aimed at men…
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Topics
- ConfidenceConfidence, or more precisely self-confidence, is an awareness that you have the ability to rise to whatever challenge life throws at you. It is the single most important asset that a man can possess, because it determines how you respond to challenges that impact how well everything else in your life goes. Great challenges always involve great opportunities, but it’s only through having confidence in yourself that you are able to see and take advantage of these opportunities. Confidence is partly general and partly contextual. You might feel confident about your ability to drive a car, but not so confident about your ability to play a guitar… especially if you’ve never learned. But an innate sense of self-confidence will make it much easier for you to learn to play a guitar, because you’ll feel more positive about the likelihood of success and less worried about failure. Every skill that you acquire has the potential to build your self-confidence, and this general sense of confidence begins to spill over into other areas of your life. We start out in life by inheriting the confidence of our parents, plus or minus a little depending on our personality and individual disposition. Lack of…
- Assertiveness
- Self Esteem
- CommunicationCommunicate Clearly and Confidently
- RelationshipsHave better relationships
- Masculinity
- MindsetDevelop a confidence mindset
- EmotionsMastering your Emotions
- TherapyDifferent types of therapy for building your confidence
- WomenRelate to women confidently
- DatingGet more and better dates
- SexMaster the art of making love to a woman and giving her incredible pleasure.

Life Skills

Ten Positive Things To Do During COVID19 Lockdown

It looks like we’ve all got about 6 months to fill in social isolation. How you are going to spend the time? Are you going to use it productively, or waste it bingeing on NetFlix until you can’t see any more?

It’s times like these when thinking creatively is particularly important. And since I’m here to do your thinking for you, here are ten positive things to do during the COVID19 lockdown that will leave you better off in the future when we can all go out again: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, 5 yearsApril 3, 2020 ago

Family

How To Cut The Emotional Umbilical Cord With Your Mother

G’day, guys. Today I want to talk about how to cut the emotional umbilical cord with your mother. Now, you may wonder why you want to do this or what I’m talking about. So the emotional umbilical cord is a metaphor to refer to that ability that your mother has to control or dominate you or influence you in ways that you may not like.

Now, the origin of the emotional umbilical cord goes back to when you were an infant, when your ability to comply with what your mother wanted was kind of essential to your survival since you were totally dependent on her to feed and clothe and house you. And at some point during your development, you need to cut this emotional umbilical cord if you want to grow up from being a boy into being a man.

By Graham Stoney, 10 yearsMarch 4, 2015 ago

Family

10 Signs Your Family Is Crazy-Making

A few years ago when I did The Hoffman Process, one of the facilitators described [intlink id=”480″ type=”post”]my mother’s behaviour[/intlink] as “crazy-making”.

I thought, “Wow, that’s a fantastic description.”

And it wasn’t just my mother; it was the whole family dynamic that she and my passive father helped establish. Take a perfectly normal infant child, bring them up in a crazy-making emotionally disconnected family and you’ve pretty much got a recipe for insanity.

But how do you know if you’re living in a crazy-making family? Well, I’m glad you asked.

So here’s the top 10 signs that your family is crazy-making:

By Graham Stoney, 10 yearsFebruary 15, 2015 ago