confidence

The 5 States Of Self-Confidence

Hey guys, it’s Graham here, and I want to talk about the five states of self-confidence so that you can build your confidence more quickly. Now, all of us go through these different states of various different points in our life and at different times during the day, but it’s useful to recognize what state you’re currently at so that you can know what it is that you should do in order to move yourself to a higher state where ultimately you’ll feel more confident. The more often you do this, the more confident you’ll feel generally.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

The Biggest Factor That Undermines Self-Confidence

Hey there, it’s Graham here. Now, if you’re interested in making some serious inroads into boosting your self-confidence, then you’ve come to the right place because what I want to do is talk about the number 1 factor that undermines our self-confidence the most. And it’s an interesting one because very, very few people are even prepared to talk about it. So you’re probably wondering, “Well, what is it?” Well, it’s very simple. In one word, the problem is shame.

Now, you probably recognize shame as a feeling of embarrassment or as a feeling of inhibition that holds you back from doing things sometimes, and it’s often accompanied by the thought in your head of “What are people going to think? If I do what I want to do, if I act on my impulses, then what are people going to think?”

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Go To A Dance Class

Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project again, and today I want to give you my number 1 tip for building your confidence with women, for getting exercise, for just having a lot of fun. This is an absolute showstopper. You’ve got to go do this if you haven’t already done it. So what am I talking about? Well, I’m talking about learning to dance.

Now, for me, I want to all boys’ high school where playing rugby and getting your head kicked in was kind of the way to be the macho man and be a bit of a hero, and the whole idea of dancing sounding a bit kind of gay to me, to be honest. I didn’t think I would be doing that.

How wrong I was because women absolutely love men that dance. There are genetic biological reasons for that. In the animal kingdom, a lot of animals use dance as a way of attracting their mate, and a lot of that same programming is built into the brains of human beings as well.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Get Emotional Healing

Hey, it’s Graham here again with another confidence building idea for you. And today I want to talk about a serious subject which is the weighty topic of getting some emotional healing, if you need it. Now what tends to happen to us in life is invariably we go through a series of events, some of which are great and some of which are not so good, and some of the ones which are not so good can be so heavy that they’re really traumatic and they leave us with some kind of emotional scarring deep down in our psyche that hangs around and affects us for the rest of our life until we get to the point where we’re ready to deal with this stuff.

Now, the way that your subconscious works and that your emotions work are that any time you have a event that happens with a strong emotional response, in particular an emotional response that’s too strong for you to deal with at the time, we end up with a traumatic memory stored deep in our subconscious. And what happens is that any time in the future that we’re in a similar kind of situation, we’ll have the same emotion arise because we’ve been programmed for that by the traumatic event that’s happened back in our past.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Read Losing My Virginity by Richard Branson

Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project, and today I want to talk about how to be successful. Well, how the hell should I know how to be successful? If you want to be successful, I suspect you take tips from somebody who’s already really successful. And that’s why I’m going to recommend – instead of listening to me – that you read this book by Richard Branson called Losing My Virginity.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Develop An Attitude Of Gratitude

Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project again and coming at you with another tip for building your confidence, this week by looking at what’s going on in the voices inside your head. And what I’d like to suggest this week is that life is hard sometimes. Life has ups and downs. It can be great one day and it can kind of suck the next. And often we’re at the mercy of this sort of emotional roller-coaster effect where our moods are just swinging all over the place by what happens to us in life.

So underpinning all this, what I want to suggest is it’s a great idea to develop an attitude of gratitude. This is not always an easy thing to do, but the times when it is most difficult tend to be the times when it’s most useful.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

How to Start Conversations with Strangers

Hey, it’s Graham here, and I want to talk about starting conversations with strangers. And there’s a little trick here that I’ve worked out that I want to share with you which I think is kind of important. So the reason why starting conversations with strangers is important is that it’s in conversations and our social skills that our confidence is most important and is most obvious to other people.

Now, there’s no magic silver bullet to starting conversations with strangers. The reason for that is that it doesn’t really matter what you say to people when you first meet them. Everything that’s really important is in the attitude that you have. If you’re nervous and insecure or edgy when you meet somebody, particularly a woman, they’re going to sense that and they’re going to feel like, “I’m bit uncomfortable about talking to this person.” You’re not going to come across as very confident.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Welcome to the Confident Man Channel!

Hey guys, it’s Graham here. Welcome to The Confident Man Channel!

The whole purpose of this channel is to help you to self-actualise and become the confident man that you were always intended to be. So if you’ve come from the place where I used to be where you’ve got low self-esteem, chronic anxiety, panic attacks, just struggles dealing with life, particularly relating to women, and life in general is not going the way that you want, well this is the place to be.

I highly recommend that you grab yourself a copy of The Confident Man Program, it’s got all my condensed wisdom on how to go from where you don’t want to be to where you do want to be all packed into one easy-to-read guide. It also comes with a whole heap of bonuses where I interview a bunch of experts on all sorts of topics which will help you build your self-esteem, become a more confident man and leave a greater mark on the world.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Confidence, Cats In The Cradle and My Relationship with My Father

Harry Chapin’s famous song Cats In The Cradle hits me emotionally every time I hear it. Whether it’s his original, Cat Steven’s even more well-known version, or more recent covers like the one by Ugly Kid Joe, it never fails to strike an emotional chord with me. I’ve spent the last 3 weeks learning to play it on my guitar, and when I play it myself it’s even stronger.

Knowing what I know now, I’d say that my father lacks confidence and that’s why he is so reluctant to share his feelings, and hard for other people to connect to. He was my natural role model and for a long time I emulated this too. As a result, I lacked confidence and we both had very little emotional connection.

The song connects me with the pain I still feel in my relationship with my emotionally distant father. Ironically, my father and I have a lot of time for each other and get together on a regular basis; we have even more time together now that he’s retired and I’m working for myself. But there’s a distance between us that I find painful.

My Dad was always there for me physically as I kid, and I don’t ever recall brushing him off because I just wanted to borrow the car keys once he’d taught me how to drive.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago
What you get in the Deep Inner Game package

Deep Inner Game

What you get in the Deep Inner Game packageI’ve been watching David DeAngelo’s Deep Inner Game program with Dr Paul, and it’s really brilliant. The program is about developing the mindset that men need to be successful, particularly focused on women, dating and relationships. This mindset is often referred to as our “inner game”, and it really extends to the bigger picture of being confident and successful in life generally.

Here are some of the key things that I’ve learned:

Boundaries

Many of our problems in relating to other people are caused by having a weak psychological and emotional personal boundary, often viewed as having holes in our boundary.

Saying “No” is how we patch holes in our boundary.

Expressing preferences also helps build our boundary, and demonstrates it to other people. Women find this very attractive, even if their preferences differ from ours. If you’re very bad at expressing preferences, you may feel like you don’t have any; in which case you may need to start with arbitrary preferences. e.g. I love dogs, I hate cats.

Immature boundaries either have holes, or are thick and impermeable. Mature boundaries have doors that allow us to control what gets in and what does not.

Perfectionism is caused by a hole in our boundary, projecting our own faults and internal ideals out onto other people.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago