How To Heal Deep Emotional Wounds

[caption id="attachment_1988" align="alignright" width="258"]Peter Saxon Holistic Counsellor Peter Saxon[/caption] Emotional wounds from early life can have a profoundly detrimental effect on our self confidence and our ability to be successful in life. Even wounds that we're unaware of or reluctant to acknowledge can still strongly effect us because they operate on the unconscious or subconscious level. These wounds can lead to self-sabotaging behaviour that may be obvious to other people, while we remain oblivious to what's going on. Yet we keep encountering similar painful experiences in life over and over, unable to pinpoint what's causing this pattern or how to break out of it. Often deep emotional wounds that we may be unaware of are at the heart of our ongoing suffering. Fortunately my good friend Peter Saxon is an expert on dealing with exactly this problem in men's lives, and I recently seized the opportunity to interview him on the topic. My favourite quote from this interview is:

“When we really get to experience our feelings directly without avoiding or grasping or going to the emotional drama of the feeling, and are actually be able to sit with it, and then look to identify what the need is underneath that feeling, and getting help to meet that need: life changes dramatically.”


By Graham Stoney, ago

Seven Simple Steps To Overcome Anxiety

[caption id="attachment_1667" align="alignright" width="200"]Anxious Man Anxious Man (photo courtesy PhotoXpress)[/caption] Life can be a bitch when you're feeling anxious. Anxiety can undermine your confidence like nothing else. When feelings of fear take a serious foothold in your life, you can lose your whole sense of self as your self-confidence quickly heads south. So here are seven simple steps to overcome anxiety:

1. Ask Yourself What You Haven't Accepted Yet

Anxiety is a clue that you're confused about reality and the way things should be. The problem boils down to distorted thinking which leads to confusion about the nature of reality. You're telling yourself that things should be different to how they are, and that's distressing. Once you learn to accept that things are the way they are, your anxiety will dissipate. Perhaps you already know what it is that you can't accept about reality, or perhaps you're not sure. Often emotions arise in our subconscious and then our conscious mind attempts to come up with a rational explanation. But we don't always get it right; so maybe the thing you're confused about isn't what you think it is. There are many processes for inquiring more deeply into reality. One of my favourites is The Work of Byron Katie described in her book Loving What Is. (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

How to Develop Your Masculinity

Being a man in today's world can be a challenge. Fortunately there are a lot of resources out there that can help get us in touch with the masculinity at our core and be more confident and effective in the world.

Between fellow course junkie Dunstan Bertschinger and I, we've explored a bunch of books, courses and workshops that have helped us get in touch with our intuition, emotions, and inner magician. Dunstan is a swimming coach who helps his clients gain confidence by developing their relationship with the water. He sees learning to swim as a metaphor for finding your place in the world: you can relax and trust the water to support you, or you can struggle to stay afloat.

Here's a podcast conversation between the two of us discussing several courses and workshops we've found helpful lately for developing confidence and getting in touch with our masculinity. Some of the themes we cover:

  • The real meaning of confidence
  • Opening your heart to receiving from others
  • Being real with women and other people
  • The problem with being nice when we're inauthentic
  • Giving up perfectionism
  • Transforming emotional wounds into personal power
  • The power of naming your fears
  • Your thoughts and feelings are not real
  • The secrets of personal magic/alchemy
  • Overcoming creepiness
  • Reversing our childhood conditioning and being honest
  • Overturning negative beliefs

It's real, it's raw, and you can preview it by clicking the play button:

The full interview is included in The Confident Man Program.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago