Why You Need An Ideal Future Vision

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- Graham’s StoryI suffered from a chronic lack of self-confidence right from early childhood through most of my adult life. I am a sensitive person and was deeply traumatized by the never-ending conflict and hostility in my parent’s relationship. My mother was, and still is, the dominant force in my family of origin. Highly intelligent but emotionally withheld, she was always quick to criticise and would never back down in any of the petty arguments with my father that characterized their relationship. He, on the other hand, was relatively passive yet and was often driven to explode with frustration due to his inability to express his emotions or to handle my mother’s frequent put-downs. She would berate him saying “You stupid creature; why can’t you just tell me what you’re thinking!”, not realizing the irony behind her nagging criticism. Our home didn’t feel like a safe or fun place to be much of the time. My two elder sisters both dealt with this in their own way, leaving me feeling excluded and abandoned a lot of the time. My sensitivity in this situation was always invalidated, caused me a great deal of grief and felt like a genuine weakness. Ironically, my parents…
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- ConfidenceConfidence, or more precisely self-confidence, is an awareness that you have the ability to rise to whatever challenge life throws at you. It is the single most important asset that a man can possess, because it determines how you respond to challenges that impact how well everything else in your life goes. Great challenges always involve great opportunities, but it’s only through having confidence in yourself that you are able to see and take advantage of these opportunities. Confidence is partly general and partly contextual. You might feel confident about your ability to drive a car, but not so confident about your ability to play a guitar… especially if you’ve never learned. But an innate sense of self-confidence will make it much easier for you to learn to play a guitar, because you’ll feel more positive about the likelihood of success and less worried about failure. Every skill that you acquire has the potential to build your self-confidence, and this general sense of confidence begins to spill over into other areas of your life. We start out in life by inheriting the confidence of our parents, plus or minus a little depending on our personality and individual disposition. Lack of…
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Having a vision for your ideal future allows your inner creativity to start moving you towards fulfilling that vision in your life. The first step of the online course is to create a vision for your future. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just needs to resonate with you.

vision, Why You Need An Ideal Future Vision

Having A Future Vision To Aim For Makes You A More Confident Man

For inspiration, here’s mine:

I routinely give myself permission to have the life that I desire without requiring other people’s approval. I am willing to experiment and have the freedom to fuck things up and get it wrong from time to time, knowing that the more I am willing to get it wrong the more things will also go right. I am fully comfortable with failure and simply see it as a learning experience. I have healed all the wounds of the past so that I can be free to be my true self, fully expressed in the world.

I have many close female friends and feel very comfortable being myself around them sexually, emotionally and intellectually. I have a rich and fulfilling sex life with as many women as I desire. I feel comfortable expressing my sexuality around attractive women, and they feel grateful and appreciative of the opportunity to connect with me. Many women find me sexually attractive and desirable and I have an abundant choice in who I want to spend my time connecting with.

I have a network of meaningful, satisfying mutually supportive male friends who I can rely on when I need them and I give back to them in ways which make me feel energized. I have high self-esteem and am seen as a leader among men in activities that contribute to the well-being of others. I am the alpha-male that other men aspire to be, and I take great pleasure in offering whatever assistance I can to enable them to get there too.

I have let go of perfectionism and live spontaneously in the moment from my intuition. I feel confident that my needs will be taken seriously by others and that I can get them met with ease and grace. I make a positive difference in many people’s lives and am a constant source of inspiration. I have learned to live in a state of flow, embracing the principles of self-honesty, self-actualization and living authentically. I feel powerful and have learned to let go of expectation so that I can fully appreciate all the richness that life has to offer. As a result, I get what I want in life. I get to travel regularly and feel comfortable in the company of the many new friends that I meet.

I have tremendous energy, health and vitality. I spend my work life on projects that inspire and energize me, and my leisure time on hobbies and other activities that I love. The distinction between the two is somewhat arbitrary because I love my work so much. I feel a tremendous gratitude for my life as a whole.

I have a successful business which makes more than enough money for me to live the lifestyle that I desire, while also allowing me to be very generous to others and support causes that are important to me. I have great friends and a supportive family with wonderful relationships. I regularly get up on stage to entertain, inform and inspire other people. I make a real difference in the world.

I love my life.

So that’s my vision. I’m not there yet, but it gives me a goal to work towards and many parts are gradually coming to fruition. To learn how to construct your vision of the future and start working towards it, join the Confident Man online course. Then post your vision on the Confident Man forums to let the world know what you’re working towards so you can get some support and inspiration; especially when the going gets tough.

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Categories: Mindset

Tags: future visiongoal setting

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.

2 Comments

Peter · October 20, 2012 at 3:14 am

This is a great vision. I would be very happy with this vision. I might have a few tweaks to it to fit some of my additional wants, but I will likely use this as a basis for mine. It’s very well written and considers the important things in life. Thanks!