Getting Angry With My Father

I've spent the last few years working hard on connecting more deeply with my father, motivated by a few reasons: For one, I felt I was missing something in my own sense of self; a connection to my own masculinity that would normally comes from a boy's father. I also found myself feeling a profound sense of grief and loss towards my father, which seemed particularly odd given that he's still very much alive and kicking. And then other men I've talked to whose father's had died have often told me how much they regret not connecting on a deeper level and getting the chance to ask questions they'd long for an answer to, while he was still alive.

Being Angry With Our Father Can Be Challenging

Frankly, it hasn't been an easy process. My experience of my father is that he talks about his experiences in excruciating detail that is totally devoid of emotional content. This often leaves me switching off and ending up feeling isolated, lonely and depressed in his presence. He says things that just aren't very interesting and appears to show no regard for whether his listener finds the conversation engaging or not. When he tells me about visiting a relative or going to a concert, I'm likely to hear more about the parking and travel arrangements than whether he enjoyed the actual event itself.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Mature Masculine Power and The Count of Monte Cristo

The Count of Monte Cristo Movie Cover Dr Paul pointed out on David DeAngelo's Deep Inner Game program that the story of The Count of Monte Cristo is a metaphor for the journey that men take in growing from a boy into a mature man. So I recently watched the 2002 movie version starring Jim Caviezel and Guy Pearce, to see what nuggets of masculine wisdom I could extract from it.

At the beginning of the story, Edmond Dantes is a boy living in a man's body. He lacks intuition and street-smarts, and has a naïve overly-trusting view of other people. He has never questioned his belief in God, has weak personal boundaries, and allows other people to manipulate him and take advantage of his naïvety. He has an excess of conscience and looks at the world the way a young boy does. In short, he's guileless and clueless. While he is deeply in love with his fiancé Mercedes, the relationship has never really been tested by any kind of hardship.

When Dantes is prematurely made Captian of his ship by his employer, his childhood friend Fernando Mondego becomes extremely jealous. He is also jealous of Dante's relatioship with Mercedes, who repeatedly knocks back his routine attempts to seduce her.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Gain Self-Confidence, Build Assertiveness and Self-Esteem with The Confident Man Program

Dear Friend,

Would you like to be able to:

  • Meet and date hotter, more beautiful, higher quality women?
  • Have more and better sex?
  • Feel more self-confident, relaxed and at ease around women?
  • Connect more easily and more deeply with the women you find attractive?
  • Overcome insecurity, self-consciousness and low self-esteem?
  • Have more of your needs met, more easily?
  • Get a better job?
  • Earn a higher income?
  • Feel more happiness, joy, peace and contentment?
  • Live the life you want, on your terms?

Conversely, would you like to stop:

  • Feeling inadequate, insecure and nervous; especially around women
  • Feeling self-conscious
  • Feeling like a loser
  • Feeling lonely, depressed and anxious about life
  • Feeling like the world is passing you by
  • Feeling resentful with other guys who seem to have what you want
  • Feeling resentful with women you find attractive, who always seem to be brushing you off

If so, we have a lot in common. You see, most of my life I've struggled with insecurity, nervousness, and low self-esteem. Especially around women. I've done a tremendous amount of research into this problem and come to the conclusion that there are three magic ingredients to solving all these problems so that we can live the life we were meant to live:

Confidence, Confidence, Confidence

Now I know you're not stupid so you probably already realized this.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago