inner game Archives • The Confident Man Project

About
- About The Project
- Graham’s StoryI suffered from a chronic lack of self-confidence right from early childhood through most of my adult life. I am a sensitive person and was deeply traumatized by the never-ending conflict and hostility in my parent’s relationship. My mother was, and still is, the dominant force in my family of origin. Highly intelligent but emotionally withheld, she was always quick to criticise and would never back down in any of the petty arguments with my father that characterized their relationship. He, on the other hand, was relatively passive yet and was often driven to explode with frustration due to his inability to express his emotions or to handle my mother’s frequent put-downs. She would berate him saying “You stupid creature; why can’t you just tell me what you’re thinking!”, not realizing the irony behind her nagging criticism. Our home didn’t feel like a safe or fun place to be much of the time. My two elder sisters both dealt with this in their own way, leaving me feeling excluded and abandoned a lot of the time. My sensitivity in this situation was always invalidated, caused me a great deal of grief and felt like a genuine weakness. Ironically, my parents…
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- Guest PostingI welcome contributions from experts with wisdom to offer about how to help men become more confident and effective in their lives. If you’re a psychologist, counsellor, life coach, dating coach or you’re just passionate about any topic which can help men, I’d love to hear from you. You can become a one-off guest blogger, or contribute a series of articles over time. Relevant topics include [intlink id=”57″ type=”category”]self-esteem[/intlink], [intlink id=”25″ type=”category”]communication skills[/intlink], [intlink id=”4″ type=”category”]emotional mastery[/intlink], [intlink id=”99″ type=”category”]masculinity[/intlink], [intlink id=”5″ type=”category”]women[/intlink], [intlink id=”10″ type=”category”]dating[/intlink], [intlink id=”11″ type=”category”]relationships[/intlink], sex and [intlink id=”6″ type=”category”]life skills[/intlink]. Basically anything that helps make a man more confident, competent and effective in the world. This is a great way to broaden your exposure if you have a product, service or business helping men. In return for contributing, you get the kudos of seeing your name in print and a valuable dofollow back link to your website in your Bio, which is good for your search engine ranking. If you have an affiliate program, I will join it and use my affiliate link in your Bio. Either way you get your name in lights as a subject matter expert, along with more traffic, business and/or…
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- Joint VenturesDo You Have A Product For Men That I Can Help You Promote? I like to form mutually beneficial business relationships with other people, and I’m always looking for other great products to promote to my customers to help them become even more confident and successful in life. My customers have a proven buying track record in this niche and my visitors list have all come across the site while searching for dating and attraction products. Using my list is a highly targeted form of promotion. Your product must be original, and high quality. No point just repeating what’s in Double Your Dating. I only promote products which I have actually read and found useful myself, so be prepared to send me a copy. You must have an affiliate program that I can join in order for me to promote your product. The simplest way I’ve found to manage an affiliate program is to use ClickBank as your payment processor; they do all the work for you, and have a neat marketplace where you can advertise your product to get affiliates. I recommend you join ClickBank if you haven’t already done so. If you have a product aimed at men…
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Topics
- ConfidenceConfidence, or more precisely self-confidence, is an awareness that you have the ability to rise to whatever challenge life throws at you. It is the single most important asset that a man can possess, because it determines how you respond to challenges that impact how well everything else in your life goes. Great challenges always involve great opportunities, but it’s only through having confidence in yourself that you are able to see and take advantage of these opportunities. Confidence is partly general and partly contextual. You might feel confident about your ability to drive a car, but not so confident about your ability to play a guitar… especially if you’ve never learned. But an innate sense of self-confidence will make it much easier for you to learn to play a guitar, because you’ll feel more positive about the likelihood of success and less worried about failure. Every skill that you acquire has the potential to build your self-confidence, and this general sense of confidence begins to spill over into other areas of your life. We start out in life by inheriting the confidence of our parents, plus or minus a little depending on our personality and individual disposition. Lack of…
- Assertiveness
- Self Esteem
- CommunicationCommunicate Clearly and Confidently
- RelationshipsHave better relationships
- Masculinity
- MindsetDevelop a confidence mindset
- EmotionsMastering your Emotions
- TherapyDifferent types of therapy for building your confidence
- WomenRelate to women confidently
- DatingGet more and better dates
- SexMaster the art of making love to a woman and giving her incredible pleasure.

Self Esteem

Develop An Attitude Of Gratitude

Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project again and coming at you with another tip for building your confidence, this week by looking at what’s going on in the voices inside your head. And what I’d like to suggest this week is that life is hard sometimes. Life has ups and downs. It can be great one day and it can kind of suck the next. And often we’re at the mercy of this sort of emotional roller-coaster effect where our moods are just swinging all over the place by what happens to us in life.

So underpinning all this, what I want to suggest is it’s a great idea to develop an attitude of gratitude. This is not always an easy thing to do, but the times when it is most difficult tend to be the times when it’s most useful.

By Graham Stoney, 10 yearsNovember 18, 2014 ago

What you get in the Deep Inner Game package

Mindset

Deep Inner Game

I’ve been watching David DeAngelo’s Deep Inner Game program with Dr Paul, and it’s really brilliant. The program is about developing the mindset that men need to be successful, particularly focused on women, dating and relationships. This mindset is often referred to as our “inner game”, and it really extends to the bigger picture of being confident and successful in life generally.

Here are some of the key things that I’ve learned:

Boundaries

Many of our problems in relating to other people are caused by having a weak psychological and emotional personal boundary, often viewed as having holes in our boundary.

Saying “No” is how we patch holes in our boundary.

Expressing preferences also helps build our boundary, and demonstrates it to other people. Women find this very attractive, even if their preferences differ from ours. If you’re very bad at expressing preferences, you may feel like you don’t have any; in which case you may need to start with arbitrary preferences. e.g. I love dogs, I hate cats.

Immature boundaries either have holes, or are thick and impermeable. Mature boundaries have doors that allow us to control what gets in and what does not.

Perfectionism is caused by a hole in our boundary, projecting our own faults and internal ideals out onto other people.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, 14 yearsOctober 21, 2010 ago