guys Archives • The Confident Man Project

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- About The Project
- Graham’s StoryI suffered from a chronic lack of self-confidence right from early childhood through most of my adult life. I am a sensitive person and was deeply traumatized by the never-ending conflict and hostility in my parent’s relationship. My mother was, and still is, the dominant force in my family of origin. Highly intelligent but emotionally withheld, she was always quick to criticise and would never back down in any of the petty arguments with my father that characterized their relationship. He, on the other hand, was relatively passive yet and was often driven to explode with frustration due to his inability to express his emotions or to handle my mother’s frequent put-downs. She would berate him saying “You stupid creature; why can’t you just tell me what you’re thinking!”, not realizing the irony behind her nagging criticism. Our home didn’t feel like a safe or fun place to be much of the time. My two elder sisters both dealt with this in their own way, leaving me feeling excluded and abandoned a lot of the time. My sensitivity in this situation was always invalidated, caused me a great deal of grief and felt like a genuine weakness. Ironically, my parents…
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- Guest PostingI welcome contributions from experts with wisdom to offer about how to help men become more confident and effective in their lives. If you’re a psychologist, counsellor, life coach, dating coach or you’re just passionate about any topic which can help men, I’d love to hear from you. You can become a one-off guest blogger, or contribute a series of articles over time. Relevant topics include [intlink id=”57″ type=”category”]self-esteem[/intlink], [intlink id=”25″ type=”category”]communication skills[/intlink], [intlink id=”4″ type=”category”]emotional mastery[/intlink], [intlink id=”99″ type=”category”]masculinity[/intlink], [intlink id=”5″ type=”category”]women[/intlink], [intlink id=”10″ type=”category”]dating[/intlink], [intlink id=”11″ type=”category”]relationships[/intlink], sex and [intlink id=”6″ type=”category”]life skills[/intlink]. Basically anything that helps make a man more confident, competent and effective in the world. This is a great way to broaden your exposure if you have a product, service or business helping men. In return for contributing, you get the kudos of seeing your name in print and a valuable dofollow back link to your website in your Bio, which is good for your search engine ranking. If you have an affiliate program, I will join it and use my affiliate link in your Bio. Either way you get your name in lights as a subject matter expert, along with more traffic, business and/or…
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Topics
- ConfidenceConfidence, or more precisely self-confidence, is an awareness that you have the ability to rise to whatever challenge life throws at you. It is the single most important asset that a man can possess, because it determines how you respond to challenges that impact how well everything else in your life goes. Great challenges always involve great opportunities, but it’s only through having confidence in yourself that you are able to see and take advantage of these opportunities. Confidence is partly general and partly contextual. You might feel confident about your ability to drive a car, but not so confident about your ability to play a guitar… especially if you’ve never learned. But an innate sense of self-confidence will make it much easier for you to learn to play a guitar, because you’ll feel more positive about the likelihood of success and less worried about failure. Every skill that you acquire has the potential to build your self-confidence, and this general sense of confidence begins to spill over into other areas of your life. We start out in life by inheriting the confidence of our parents, plus or minus a little depending on our personality and individual disposition. Lack of…
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- MindsetDevelop a confidence mindset
- EmotionsMastering your Emotions
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Masculinity

I can relate; Men need to hear this

Hey guys, I just want to respond to Tony Porter’s TEDWomen speech about the man box and his call to men. I think the only problem with this speech is that it’s given at a conference mainly with women.T he actual substance of his talk really isn’t just about violence against women: It’s about freedom for men as you’ll notice in the quote right at the very end.

I can totally relate to what Tony’s saying. I had a father who was just emotionally not there. He was physically there so perhaps I was luckier than some guys, but when it came to anything related to emotions he completely kept them to himself. He was obviously very ashamed of how he felt and I think still is, and as a result the only emotions that I could see him express really were when he would seethe with frustration or when he would explode with anger.

And, yeah, that might be okay for the man box, but it’s not okay for relationships with people generally. So, yeah, I can relate to Tony’s message, and I recommend this video to any guys, not just to women:

… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, 10 years ago

Emotions

Angry Men, Passive Men by Marvin Allen

I read a lot of books on personal development and as a result of that it’s pretty rare nowadays that I come across a book that contains brand new concepts or ideas that I’ve never heard of before. So what I’m looking for in the books that I read now is more a matter of how they affect me, like how they make me feel.

Because I really believe that if you want to make a lasting change in your life, then you need to deal with emotions and particularly the emotions that we have been avoiding feeling in the past and all that business that’s repressed in our subconscious.

By Graham Stoney, 10 yearsNovember 25, 2014 ago