man wearing a black mask with a middle finger salute on it

How To Overcome Distrust Of Authority

Individualist western cultures traditionally tend to champion our rights as individuals over our responsibility to others in the community. Things are kept in balance by the legal system which dispenses justice by limiting the freedom of those who choose to consistently break the law, and the capitalist economy which rewards us for providing value to other people who we might not even know or otherwise care about. These safeguards prevent most people from focusing too much on themselves to the exclusion of other people.

For the most part, this system works fairly well. When it doesn’t work, the person who suffers most is usually the one who is unwilling or unable to exercise their freedoms constructively within the confines of the legal and economic system. While there is certainly structural inequity in all cultures, this can often be overcome by playing the societal game effectively and reaping sufficient rewards. The key is to exercise personal responsibility at all times and avoid playing victim to our circumstances. Those who choose to do so, despite whatever hand they may have been dealt in life originally, get rewarded. Those who rebel mindlessly get punished either directly by the legal system, or indirectly by their failure to contribute to the economic system. (more…)

Why Am I So Anxious All The Time?

Journaling is a great way to release unexpressed emotions that can otherwise accumulate and make us feel anxious. Here is an example of some free-flow journaling that I did last year at a time when I was feeling particularly anxious. It helped me identify and release how I was feeling, so writing it felt very cathartic.

I am so anxious sometimes that it’s literally hard to breathe. Why, why, why, why, why? Or more importantly, what can I do about it? Where is it coming from? I’ve been contemplating this recently, and here are my thoughts: (more…)

Large family having Christmas dinner

Christmas Day With My Parents, And Other Life-Threatening Challenges

Christmas day this year was rather challenging, principally because my dad is dying. He’s 87 and got cancer 3 years ago. The 18 months of radiotherapy and chemotherapy probably saved his life, but now his bone marrow is fucked and he can’t make his own red blood cells, so he’s going to die. He knows it, I know it, everyone in the family knows it. We just don’t know when. I feel absolutely devastated.

Watching his steady decline is all the more painful because it brings up all the unmet needs I still have in my relationship with him, like security and significance, that I now know for sure he will never fulfil for me. I’ve realised this intellectually for a long time but seeing him slowly die real nails it home. My relationship with my dad has always lacked emotional intimacy despite my best efforts to connect with him over the years. He just didn’t have it in him. At the same time, he’s the one person I feel most confident in saying who genuinely loves me… and now he’s going to die. Fortunately, he’s not in any great pain as far as I can see… he just gets tired a lot.

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