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Tag Archives: controlling mothers
Hey guys. In case you've ever questioned the value of getting coaching to help overcome the gap between what your father should have taught you, and what you actually learned; check out the comment I just received on my article about the problem of passive fathers teaming up with controlling mothers.
My husband has totally abdicated his role as a leader in our family. He is content to remain checked out of parenting, the marriage, consumed with self-pity over having his life now seriously limited by MS, addicted to watching sports and living in complete submission to life...he lives life like he is a guest in his own world. My children, now 20 and 23 see him as weak willed, clueless, apathetic and a poser. For many years I have worried about my son and growing into man. I have been the one to throw the football, teach how to use tools and power equipment, how to paint, wax a car, fix leaky faucets, hang a light fixture etc. His Dad just passively watched saying he was not good at that stuff....he is simply lazy, passive and apathetic. With the challenges of life, his own crappy father, he chose to get bitter instead of be better.… Continue reading…
I've noticed a strong pattern in the lives of a lot of guys who I've been talking to lately who have had issues with self-confidence, especially around women: the combination of a dominant, controlling mother and a passive father. It's the disastrous duo for a boy's confidence growing into a man.
One of the unfortunate realities of life is that controlling women tend to attract passive men. So if you have a controlling mother, you're likely to also have ended up with a passive father as your primary male role model.
Controlling women attempt to dominate the men in their lives in order to assuage their own inner anxiety about the unpredictable nature of life and their lack of trust in healthy masculine power.
Confident, powerful men don't put up with this sort of behaviour: they assert themselves and if necessary walk away knowing that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. So controlling women tend to end up left with passive men who are willing to be pushed around because they don't know how to stand up for themselves.
Unfortunately that means that if you had a controlling mother, you probably also had a passive father, which is a double-blow to your developing masculinity.… Continue reading…