Confidence, or more precisely self-confidence, is an awareness that you have the ability to rise to whatever challenge life throws at you. It is the single most important asset that a man can possess, because it determines how you respond to challenges that impact how well everything else in your life goes. Great challenges always involve great opportunities, but it’s only through having confidence in yourself that you are able to see and take advantage of these opportunities.
Confidence is being comfortable in your own skin
Confidence is partly general and partly contextual. You might feel confident about your ability to drive a car, but not so confident about your ability to play a guitar… especially if you’ve never learned. But an innate sense of self-confidence will make it much easier for you to learn to play a guitar, because you’ll feel more positive about the likelihood of success and less worried about failure. Every skill that you acquire has the potential to build your self-confidence, and this general sense of confidence begins to spill over into other areas of your life.
We start out in life by inheriting the confidence of our parents, plus or minus a little depending on our personality and individual disposition. Lack of confidence as an adult shows up as anxiety, conservatism, and a general unwillingness to take risks. If your parents lacked confidence, they will have most likely passed this underlying anxiety on to you as well. However, you don’t have to continue to follow their example; you can choose to break free of the mindset that you were brought up in, and develop a genuine sense of who you are independent of your parents. In the process, you develop the confidence to need to deal with life’s challenges more effectively.
Self-esteem is the value that we place on ourselves, and is also closely tied to our self-confidence. If we feel inhibited, anxious, awkward, self-critical and self-conscious, we end up beating ourselves up in our self-talk. It’s hard to feel good about someone that’s beating us up, especially when they know everything we don’t like about ourselves. This further undermines our confidence because we end up disliking who we think we are, and underestimating our true value.
Relationships with women are one of the most painful areas of a man’s life when we lack confidence. I know because I’ve been there myself in the past: putting up with dating anyone who was prepared to go out with me. It always ended badly. Your relationships with women, your dating and sex life, and whether you’re spending Saturday night at home feeling lonely and sorry for yourself are all dependent on your level of confidence with women.
Confidence with women all comes down to our communication and social skills, which we can always learn to develop. Doing this improves the way we relate to other people, leading us into smoother social interactions and more consistently positive feedback from them. We become more confident, more popular, and more able to associate with the people we are interested in, rather than just the people who are prepared to put up with us.
Confidence is the key factor underlying our success in social situations because it is essential to allowing us to drop the mask that keeps other people distant and stops us truly being ourselves.
Few modern men are blessed with confidence from the word go, because our parent’s generation were largely conservative and risk-averse. I know because I’ve been there myself: my own parents are deeply enmeshed in shame, emotionally stunted, conservative to the hilt, and dreadful communicators. They passed all this on to me, and it has taken me years to learn how to really become a confident man.
However, in the process I discovered that we can learn better skills and take steps that make us more powerful and effective in the world, especially in the way we relate to other people. When we start experiencing success it boosts our confidence even further for facing the next challenge even more powerful and effectively.
Whether you want more women in your life, a girlfriend, more and better sex, more intimacy, better relationships, a better career, improved finances, or just greater happiness; it all comes down to confidence. The articles on this site are your starting point to developing the confidence you need as a man in order to really love your life.
And the step-by-step program in the Confident Man Program Guide goes even deeper, addressing every major area of your life including: the way you think, how you manage your emotions, your relationships with other people, what women find attractive, dating, sex & seduction, your general life skills, your career and even your finances. It will get you where you want to be faster than working this all out yourself. Life rewards the man who takes action.
Browse around this site and learn by all means, but start taking action because this is what will make all the difference for you; and if you’re really serious about getting faster results, hit the ground running by grabbing a copy of the Confident Man Program Guide now.
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