I recently came across a great TED talk by social scientist Amy Cuddy titled Your body language shapes who you are. Her research shows that simply adopting a power posture for two minutes can increase your testosterone, reduce your stress hormone cortisol and make you more powerful in social situations... all of which translates into greater self-confidence.

She goes on to describe how to overcome the feeling of being a fraud not just by faking it until you make it, but by faking it until your become it.

From now on, I'm walking around my unit with my arms in a power pose. I don't care what the neighbors think! Check it out:

Graham Stoney

Graham Stoney

I struggled for years with low self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of self-confidence before finding a solution that really worked. I created The Confident Man Program to help other men live the life of their dreams. I also offer 1-on-1 coaching via Skype so if you related to this article contact me about coaching.


Jens · March 9, 2017 at 9:06 am

Thank you for sharing this talk. I wrestled with tears as I heard "you're not supposed to be here" which reminded me of this subconscious message that I had received at school from my bullies. Had I watched this at home I would have cried.

Becoming the (more and more) confident man that I am today has also been a matter of two minutes, two minutes, two minutes: Tiny steps towards confidence, presence and masculinity, towards being the knight for my vulnerable inner boy.

Much more healing awaits us. But, hell, we're a good team now.

    Graham Stoney

    Graham Stoney · March 9, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    Thanks Jens; yes, I found that part really moving too. I had a similar experience in my first week at college studying music the other day too. One step at a time hey!


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