Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project with another confidence building idea for you this week, and today I’m going to talk to you about learning to recognize tests that women throw at us guys. To get a perspective on this, you need to understand that women, particularly attractive women, are besieged by attention from guys all the time and they need to have some little way of working out which guys they want to be hanging around with. So they can’t help but start throwing out little tests to guys to find out what it is that we’re made of.
Women aren’t always conscious that they’re doing this. It just becomes a habitual part of their pattern of relating to people who come up and approache them, and a lot of guys find this extremely disarming and that’s kind of the point of why women sometimes do this.
Now, this is not a bad thing. It’s just something that happens. And I noticed most strongly in my acting class a couple of years ago where guys and girls would be doing a scene together, everything would be improvised in the technique that we were learning and what would happen is the guy would be doing okay relating to this woman on stage and the woman would say something a little out of left field, a little disarming to the guy and you would see this man just shrink suddenly into like a child state and regress into some kind of needy sort of wuss, and all of a sudden the dynamic would just go.
Any kind of sexual tension that they had going between them on stage would suddenly just evaporate, and the woman would basically be losing interest in the guy. Now, this was just actors on stage improvising, but exactly the same thing tends to happen in real life.
So as to what to do about this, the first thing is simply to notice when it happens. Just notice when a woman says something a little disarming to you and in your head, rather than going “Oh, no, she doesn’t like me” or “It’s not going to work out”, just remind yourself, “That’s a test, it’s just a test.” And when you start noticing these tests, you’ll then be able to learn how to pass them.
And essentially the way that you pass a woman’s test is just not to be derailed by it. Just be fun and playful. Basically what she’s doing is inviting you to flirt with her. It’s not necessarily rejection or pushing you away. It’s just saying, “What are you made of? Are you willing to step up and have some fun with me?” And, yeah, the way to pass this is just to be fun and playful.
And when I saw those things happening on stage, then the scene would go to the next level and the girl would really get engaged in flirting with the guy and it would be a lot of fun for everybody. So remember this guys. Start spotting when women are testing you. Stop taking it so personally and start just being fun and playful and see where it takes you.