How To Heal Your Mother Issues

Many men have mother issues that undermine our self-confidence by stopping us from really growing up and fulfilling our true potential. Unresolved mother issues cause us to remain emotionally and developmentally immature; a boy in a man's body. If we had a critical or controlling mother we're particularly prone to having mother issues. Add in a passive father and a lack of tribal structure with initiation rituals in modern society to force us from the cozy comfort of our mother's breast, and it's easy to slip from childhood into adulthood without ever actually growing up. [caption id="attachment_2932" align="alignright" width="300"]Unresolved mother issues can leave you stuck in a permanent state of adolescence. Unresolved mother issues can leave you stuck in a permanent state of adolescence.[/caption]

This leaves us forever unconsciously seeking comfort and reassurance from our mother, and our neediness ends up projected onto any woman we come across; which is a disaster for our relationships with women.

In normal human development, we individuate from our mothers during adolescence as we grow into being our own man with our own set of values different from hers. This is a time of rapid brain rewiring and emotional upheaval as we alternate between feeling emotionally connected with our mother, and separating from her to explore the world and our place in it.

If our mother wasn't emotionally available to connect to, or tried to control our excursions into the world in order to prevent her feeling upset in case we got hurt, then everything can go horribly wrong. Nice Guy Syndrome and the associated approval seeking are classic symptoms of mother issues. Insecurity resulting from unresolved mother issues ends up being unconsciously projected onto everyone and everything around us, having a serious negative impact on our whole life.

Here's how to heal your mother issues: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

Exposure Therapy

The key to dealing with any form of debilitating anxiety is to expose yourself to a mild dose of the situation that makes you just a little anxious, but not overwhelming so. The anxiety subsides naturally as you master the situation, building your confidence. You then increase the intensity of the situation, always remaining below the level at which you feel overwhelmed.

Psychologists call this Systematic Desensitization or Exposure Therapy. Psychologist Dr Russ Harris described it in our interview as “The most powerful technique in all of psychology”. It works extremely when done correctly, and my online confidence building course is based on applying this technique in the real world.

This is usually an adjunct to other types of therapy.


  • Extremely powerful

  • Cures phobias


  • You have to expose yourself to the very thing you fear

  • Can re-traumatize you, if not done gradually

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By Graham Stoney, ago