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Tag Archives: seduction
Hey there, it’s Graham from The Confident Man Project with another confidence building idea for you this week, and today I’m going to talk to you about learning to recognize tests that women throw at us guys. To get a perspective on this, you need to understand that women, particularly attractive women, are besieged by attention from guys all the time and they need to have some little way of working out which guys they want to be hanging around with. So they can’t help but start throwing out little tests to guys to find out what it is that we’re made of.
Women aren’t always conscious that they’re doing this. It just becomes a habitual part of their pattern of relating to people who come up and approache them, and a lot of guys find this extremely disarming and that’s kind of the point of why women sometimes do this.
A close friend of mine was telling me recently of her dissatisfaction and frustration in her experience having sex with men. “I want to feel the sacredness of sex.”, she said, “Guys seem so focused on ejaculation that a lot of the time I just don't enjoy sex at all.”
I suspect many women are in the same boat. As the conversation progressed, I got the sense that it wasn't just sacredness that was missing from my friend's sexual encounters. There was a more basic problem: many guys just don't seem to know what they're doing. “Often they're trying to put their penis in my vagina when I'm not even aroused yet. I'm not wet, and it just tears and really hurts.” Ouch. “They don't even seem to know how to turn a woman on. You could say it's just the guys that I'm choosing, but these are conscious guys and one of them had even studied tantra; and they still don't seem to know what to do.”
It may seem pretty basic that a woman needs to be aroused and lubricated before she can enjoy sex, but even getting to that point can be challenging.… Continue reading…
“I like to enjoy the thrill of living every day; every hour of the day. For we are only here this once, and let's feel the wind while we may.” - Errol Flynn, My Wicked, Wicked Ways
If there's one theme that shines through from legendary actor and ladies' man Errol Flynn's autobiography My Wicked, Wicked Ways, it's his complete lack of shame in going after what he wanted. He loved the company of beautiful women, and his swashbuckling movie persona ensured that he had more attention from them than he could handle. Yet even before becoming famous, it seemed that he had something that women wanted and they were happy for him to seduce them so they could have a taste of it.
Flynn's sense of adventure and willingness to take risks seems to lie at the heart of what made him so appealing to women. He was unashamedly sexual with women, getting into more than the odd spot of bother and ending up accused of statutory rape after some under-age actress with starry eyes got involved with him. Or at least, that's his version of the story. Perhaps it was part of a conspiracy against him, or maybe they just regretted it later and wanted revenge.… Continue reading…
I've been watching Zan Perrion's The Way of the Natural enlightened seduction DVD series, and found it fascinating. He's a guy who clearly and unapologeticly loves women, and I like that his approach to women is based on respectfully giving a woman what she wants and being up-front about it rather than covert and manipulative.
Zan cites the popularity of romance novels as evidence that women are starved of romance, passion and seduction, and sees himself as a romance artist and lover of beauty, rather than a pick-up artist. Seduction is about being a man who naturally attracts and charms women.
Be genuine and honest about your desires, without being presumptuous or needy. Move through life without apology, recognize that women are beautiful, learn to see through their facades and walls and to genuinely love women. Zan believes that so-called “natural” seducers aren't born with this gift; at some point in their life they chose to listen and learn how to relate to women in a naturally powerful way.
Here are Zan's 10 traits of the Natural Seducer:
Sees all women as his own, has compassion for their sadness, and makes it his mission to impart beauty to their lives again.
I've been there myself, and I know how debilitating depression can be. It sucks the life out of you. There's a zoned-out feeling in your head, a blank look on your face, and an all-pervading sense of hopeless like you've never felt before. The light has gone out of your eyes. It's a different feeling to sadness, which tends to pass when you've cried it out. Depression hangs around like a dense fog, clouding your judgement and colouring everything a nasty shade of grey.
Psychiatrists will tell you that depression is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain. They're right, but this doesn't say much; your brain is a complex biochemical system and pretty much any problem in there comes down to a “chemical imbalance” of some sort. The questions to ask are: what caused it, and what to do about it.
There's no instant fix for depression, and everyone gets down sometimes. It's part of being human. But small steps in the right direction add up. The following tips have worked for me, and will gradually get yourself feeling more hopeful and optimistic as the fog of depression clears and you get back to enjoying life again:
Exercise!… Continue reading…
An introverted writer goes to meet the world's greatest pick-up artists in order to write a book about their craft. In the process, he becomes one of them. He learns to seduce women by putting on a façade and using a bunch of routines with every word and move scripted. After a while, it becomes natural. In the process, he develops the confidence to attract a woman who actually likes him for who he is, rather than for the pick-up persona he pretends to be.
I was totally intrigued and inspired by this book. Shortly after reading it I started changing the way I related to women and began using some of the techniques it describes. I was quite shocked at the positive way in which women responded. At first I didn't want to believe that the less “nice” I was to a woman, the more she would engage with me. I started “neging” via SMS a much younger girl who I was interested in, and couldn't believe that she kept responding to me. I thought she'd just fob me off and stop replying, which is what used to happen to me all the time, but instead she kept coming back as I kept on teasing her.… Continue reading…
Just watching David DeAngelo's Advanced Dating Techniques program, I really like his distinction between Seduction and Attraction:
“Seduction implies tricking, being dishonest, and hiding your motives. Seduction also implies a scarcity mentality. It implies you lack the confidence that women will be attracted to you, and therefore you must resort to covert manoeuvres.
Attraction on the other hand is working on yourself, improving yourself to the point where women are magnetically attracted to you. That attraction mechanism gets pushed inside [the man] very quickly.”
It's important to understand how seduction works and when it's appropriate and inappropriate. But when a man invests significant energy into his own personal growth, he becomes a man who attracts women naturally. This is more authentic, has a more powerful impact on his whole life, and a more positive influence on the lives of those around him, than simply learning a bunch of eduction techniques ever will.… Continue reading…