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Tag Archives: maturity
Here is yet another confidence building tip for you: Today you're going to learn about taking your mother out to lunch. Now, my relationship with my mother has been a source of some pain and anguish for me, and this is a way of getting past some of that stuff by actually trying to re-establish an adult-adult relationship with your mother, whereas when you were a kid you would've had a child-adult relationship with your mother and that may not have gone all that well for you if your mother was anything like mine.
So what you want to do now is start putting some of that childhood stuff behind you and begin to see your mother as just a regular adult person who you can have a normal adult relationship with.
Dr Paul pointed out on David DeAngelo's Deep Inner Game program that the story of The Count of Monte Cristo is a metaphor for the journey that men take in growing from a boy into a mature man. So I recently watched the 2002 movie version starring Jim Caviezel and Guy Pearce, to see what nuggets of masculine wisdom I could extract from it.
At the beginning of the story, Edmond Dantes is a boy living in a man's body. He lacks intuition and street-smarts, and has a naïve overly-trusting view of other people. He has never questioned his belief in God, has weak personal boundaries, and allows other people to manipulate him and take advantage of his naïvety. He has an excess of conscience and looks at the world the way a young boy does. In short, he's guileless and clueless. While he is deeply in love with his fiancé Mercedes, the relationship has never really been tested by any kind of hardship.
When Dantes is prematurely made Captian of his ship by his employer, his childhood friend Fernando Mondego becomes extremely jealous. He is also jealous of Dante's relatioship with Mercedes, who repeatedly knocks back his routine attempts to seduce her.… Continue reading…