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Tag Archives: emotional intelligence
The problem of domestic violence has been in the news again, as it seems to be every few months or so. Out come all the stereotypes of battered women suffering at the hands of evil men, along with tasty sound-bite comments from mostly-female spokespeople working at the coal face in vastly underfunded community organisations.
Not all violence is committed by men; women are sometimes violent too. And violence is not the only form of abuse happening behind closed doors in our society: emotional, sexual and spiritual abuse can be equally damaging. Nor is the simplistic innocent-victim/evil-perpetrator model always the full truth. But for the sake of simplicity, let's roll with the stereotype for a moment since it tends to cover the majority of domestic violence cases, and I primarily work with men anyway.
Despite the excellent work done on a shoestring by the various organisations working to prevent domestic violence, the problem of men's violence towards women and children continues to hang around like an offensive odour.
How can this be, when it's in the news so often?
I believe it's because we aren't tackling the root cause of the problem. When domestic violence is in the news, I very rarely hear commentators asking the obvious, basic, underlying question:
Why are men violent?… Continue reading…
I'm sitting in a Youth Hostel in Melbourne, Australia where I'm staying for a couple of weeks while visiting the Melbourne International Comedy festival. I've just had breakfast and am sitting near the kitchen area chilling out before heading out for a day on the town. While I'm not one to eavesdrop, I can't help but overhear snippets of the Skype conversation of the woman sitting next to me.
And what I hear is: drama. Drama, drama, drama. "She did this", "he did that", "she said this", "she said that", "She thinks I'm a bad influence", "they don't like me", "she hated it", "it sucked", "it was awful"...
Ok, you get the idea.
If there was heaps of space, I'd simply move and get away from the negative energy; but it's pretty crowded this morning, and the conversation reminded me how easy it is to get addicted to our own drama, and the dramas in other people's lives around us.
Now it would be a different story if the woman was debriefing about her emotions regarding the drama she's describing, but I'm not hearing many words from our emotional vocabulary like "sad", "angry", "scared", "happy"; nor phrases like "I felt ...", "I feel..." etc.… Continue reading…
Hey, it’s Graham here, and I’m feeling cranky today so let’s talk about anger. Now, there are two mistakes you can make with anger. The first one is to suppress it, pretending you don’t feel angry and just push that emotion down. And the second one is to just spew your anger out so that you express it destructively. Now, today I want to talk about the first one of those, which is suppressing your anger, and why we do that and why it’s not a good idea and what you can do about it.
If you have been feeling stuck, blocked, and frustrated, my good friend, Nicholas de Castella, has an exciting opportunity I would like to invite you to share in...
For over 20 years, Nicholas has taught people just like you how to raise their Emotional Intelligence. As you may know, raising your Emotional Intelligence is vital to unlocking the key to your happiness, fulfillment and success.
Nicholas will be hosting a FREE BREAKTHROUGH SESSION in which he will guide you through a Breakthrough session and outline the 5 proven steps to living authentically, having boundless energy, feeling unshakeable passion, and creating the kind of life that gets you excited to wake up and jump out of bed in the morning.
As you complete each step, you will take your health, relationships, wealth and satisfaction to a whole new level.
So let’ jump in, shall we?
Step 1: Raise Self Awareness:
- Create a vision for who you want to be and the life you want to live
- Develop Emotional Literacy: enhance your ability to respond most effectively
Step 2: Peak Functioning (Attitude / Mindset)
- Equanimity: How to cultivate an open spacious, non-judgemental, reactive mind
- Inner harmony and balance: Learn to stop relentless thinking and calm a busy mind
- Cultivate Optimism: Motivate yourself for enjoyment, ease and achievement
Step 3: Grit (Emotional Mastery)
- Courage: The ability to step into the unknown, uncertainty and unfamiliar
- Determination & Endurance: The ability to delay gratification and stay focused
- Clear blockages and release resistance
- Persistence: how to keep on going when things are moving slowly
- Resilience: ability to bounce back after setbacks and not take things personally
Step 4: Inducing Flow (Heart Intelligence)
- Effortless flow: the ability to achieve with more joy and ease
- Self determination: The freedom that comes from feeling whole and complete in yourself
- Inducing Grace: gratitude, kindness, generosity
- Intuition: making better decisions, divine timing
Step 5: Setting up practices and systems
- Establishing healthy habits
- Establishing daily rituals
- Building a team: connecting, enrolling and inspiring others
- Engaging teachers and mentors
If you’re ready to gain crystal clear clarity on what you really want and finally build the powerful momentum you need to succeed, then you absolutely do not want to miss Nicholas’ next FREE BREAKTHROUGH TO FREEDOM session on Wednesday, October 8th at 8PM AEDT (Australian Eastern Daylight Time). … Continue reading…
Do you have money problems? If so, I recommend you check out Paul Blackburn's book Resolving The Money Riddle which will teach you how to identify and resolve your subconscious blockages to wealth and help you create a positive mindset around money.
Paul originally wanted to call this book How I went from Sweet FA to $10 Million a year in 18 Months, but his wife and business partner Mary felt this was an inappropriate business title and they settled on Resolving The Money Riddle instead. Nevertheless, he still managed to slip his preferred title onto the front cover as the tag line.
The theme of the book is that the most important factor in your financial success, or that of your business, is the grey matter between your ears. As in other areas of life, our mindset is everything. For Paul, running a business isn't about the money; it's a personal development opportunity that will push your boundaries at every turn. In other words, it's about how you develop as a human being.
Resolving The Money Riddle teaches you that to be successful with money in your business and personal life you need to:… Continue reading…
I know a lot of nice guys who say that they generally just don't ever feel angry. I can relate to them, because I used to be exactly the same: I repressed my anger to the point where I didn't even feel it any more. Yet certain situations would really bug me: when someone said or did something that should rightly have made me angry, I'd end up ruminating on it for hours, going over and over a conversation in my head replaying all the things I would have liked to have said until it drove me crazy. If only I had allowed myself to be angry! In fact, I was angry; but I just didn't express it at the time and so I paid the price for it in self-recrimination later.
When we tell ourselves that we never get angry, we are just lying to ourselves. We're playing the nice guy game to avoid conflict. And the problem with this is that we don't end up standing up for ourselves. Feeling angry is normal: it's an emotion that motivates us to stand up for what is important to us. If we repress our anger, we just end up angry with ourselves and that's a recipe for misery and depression.… Continue reading…